Vampire Journals (1997)

Oh Ann Rice, what have you wrought? Vampires went from one of the most feared creatures of the horror world into the misunderstood bad boys of goth fans everywhere. Her novel Interview with a Vampire got things off to a start back in 1976. Young adult books like The Vampire Diaries first started in 1991 were all the rage. When a film version of Interview with a Vampire in 1994 changed the landscape of the vampire world vampires had to evolve. Full Moon wanted to make further vampiric adventures in the Subspecies universe, but Radu’s pure evil nature wasn’t cool. Time to get cool. Time for some Vampire Journals.

Summary:

So technically this movie was made before Subspecies IV, chronologically the events occur after that amazing film.

Alas for poor Zachary (David Gunn), his mortal life was destroyed back in the 1890s when he was turned into a vampire and his lover was slaughtered. He vowed vengeance and has turned against his vampiric nature. His only goal is to hunt down and kill the evil Ash (Jonathon Morris). This vile bloodsucker seems to be the source of the vampire scourge that Zachary wants to get to the root of.

He better hurry because Ash has his eyes set on a lovely classical piano player named Sofia (Kirsten Cerre). Ash loves her talent and feels that if he makes her immortal, her skill will increase until she is unmatched. And of course he wants to suck her blood and turn her into a willing slave – you know, typical vampire lord goals. Zachary takes a liking to Sofia and does his best to try to save her, but Ash has deadly minions of his own, and it becomes obvious that even with the powerful Sword of Laertes, Zachary may be outmatched. If he fails, can hope be found in his Vampire Journals?

Good Points:

• Filmed on location in Bucharest, Romania in winter which enhances the mood
• Jonathon Morris is having lots of fun in the antagonist’s role
• Goes all in with the “sexy” and “cool” vampire routine

Bad Points:

• Goes all in with the “sexy” and “cool” vampire routine
• The tortured voiceover is really annoying
• None of the characters are all that engaging

Overall:

So this movie was surprisingly entertaining. Not because it was good, but because it was so cheesy. Series director Ted Nicoalau rejects the classic gothic horror of the previous Subspecies films to attempt a music video style approach to this film. It is “cool” and “sexy” and almost none of it works the way it was intended. If you like your vampires scary and evil, this film will annoy you. But if you can enjoy the hilarious dialogue, questionable acting, delightfully evil performance by Morris and the overall 90s silliness of the whole production you will have a good time. Ignore the Subspecies connection, and just put this one on for some popcorn Halloween-time fun.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 3

Music: 3

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

In Depth Review

Most fans of Subspecies feel this entry in the series is the nadir. To be fair, this isn’t an official entry really. It looks like Full Moon and Nicoalau were trying to spin things in a new direction with Vampire Journals. We had a new protagonist, new antagonist and new lovely lady. Radu is mentioned in one scene as the mentor of Ash the new vampire lord, but that is really all the connections we have here. 

But you know what, I was OK with that. Subspecies III wasn’t all that good, and it ended on a mostly satisfying way. I was fine for shifting things in a new direction. The opening credits set the tone here. We get dark romantic sounding music over shots of a snow-covered graveyard in Romania. It sets a different mood right away, one that is bit more gothic romance in the Ann Rice style. 

"Look, I'm almost Lestat, but you can call me Ash."

The first scene is a doozy and is representative of what you are getting into here. A young woman is twirling in a diaphanous gown in a huge house as a hulking man in black watches her. There is a piano nearby surrounded by lit candles and right away, as a rock fan of the 90s I started cracking up. Especially when a close up of the hulking vampire flashed on the screen. Someone watched the Meatloaf video for “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” and was inspired. The music video was directed by Michael Bay (yes, that Michael Bay) back in 1993, and was all the rage. 

This scene looks like an outtake from the music video, except instead of the woman swooning at Meatloaf/monster this one screams and runs. But it is too late! Meatloaf/monster attacks and starts to drain her blood. Our new hero Zachary steps in, and wielding a ridiculous looking sword decapitates Meatloaf/monster. Was that Nicaolau’s commentary on the music video? Or was it just to get things started off with a bang.

Meatloaf would do anything for strawberry preserves.

The rest of Vampire Journals really keeps that Michael Bay music video style of lighting and overall style. It is quite a bit different compared to the look Nicaolau was going for in the previous films. It changes the overall tone to one that is less concerned with horror and more concerned with cool and sexy. Sometimes things work out, like the first scene where Ash watches Sophia play from an underground vantage point. Other times it just comes across as trying too hard and leads to chuckles.

There are other influences here. Phantom of the Opera is certainly one. We have the talented musician who is coveted by the monster. Interview with a Vampire inspired other aspects, especially the long hair both Ash and Zachary sport (very influenced by Cruise and Pitt’s look in the film). Zachary’s tortured narration apes the same thing we get in Interview from Pitt, with all the same melodrama, but this time it comes across as overripe and funny. This film also came out the same year as Buffy the Vampire slayer hit television. As much as Zachary feels like he is a low budget version of Angel, I’m not sure the influence actually occurred.

"See like Luke Skywalker.. zzzwoosh, zzzwooosh."

Vampire Journals is primarily concerned with Zachary brooding and providing lame voiceover while we observe how “cool” and “sexy” Ash is. The scenes with Ash are a lot of fun. I think Morris knew exactly what kind of movie he was in. So he goes for a devilishly evil take on the vampire as hedonist. He commits to the role and exudes that wicked confidence and suave smoothness with ease. In another movie, he would be a great villain. But here, surrounded by Michael Bay lighting and given a script that meanders around, he ends up feeling like too much of a good thing.

There are a bunch of strange subplots and characters that have potential, but don’t seem to go anywhere. You have Cassandra (Ilinca Gola) who is Ash’s most recent fledgling (still over 100 years old). Ash won’t trust her to go hunting alone, and we have a lot of scenes with the two of them bickering, and finally a hunting scene – but it never really moves past that. Her performance is appropriately over the top and fun, so the scenes between the two are never boring, just feel like padding in the overall scheme of things. Cassandra does get to go toe to toe against Zachary near the end of the film. It is a sword vs. mic stand battle you have to see to believe.

Dimitri and Cassandra get in a laugh or two.

You also have Iris (Starr Andreeff) who owns Club Muse where Ash has his hedonistic vampire abode. Iris is human, and certainly dresses like the femme fatale of the film. It is never really revealed why she is working with Ash, but it is implied that money may have something to do with it. She’s an interesting character that they don’t do too much with. You also have Dimitri (Mihai Dinvale) as the foppish vampire with a taste for male blood. I think he’s supposed to be funny, but mostly he just sashays around the screen and makes wry observations. We don’t feel all that bad when Zachary literally twists his head off like a toothpaste tube cap.

Then there is a less than interesting subplot in Vampire Journals about some vampire gangsters that betray Ash or something along those lines. Most of these actors have very thick Romanian accents, so I was having trouble following them. Also they were some of the weakest actors of the bunch. In the end I didn’t care about the subplot, and while it showed that Ash’s power was weakening among his vampire comrades (and Iris), it filled up more screen time than it was worth.

"Wow this looks so cheesy, where's my wine?"

The sound effects are up to the same quality that you’ve heard from Subspecies. The music is also on par. However there is a very distinct sting using strings each and every time a vampire bites a victim. And since we are watching a vampire movie it happens quite a bit. You could create a drinking game for that little musical motif and end up very inebriated by the end.

While the script to Vampire Journals is overly familiar, that is part of what makes it fun to watch. You can spot all the references to Phantom of the Opera, and Interview with a Vampire. You can chuckle at how Sophia flops around like a spastic doll whenever Ash drinks from her. You can snicker at the ripe dialogue, and silly long hair all the male vampires sport. You can shake your head at the cartoonish design for the SUPER vampire slaying sword that Zachary wields, and then loses and then wields again. The movie manages to hit all the tropes, and include plenty of gore, over the top kils and naked chests to suit your vampiric lusts. There is a just a lot to enjoy here, because of all its cheesy faults, it does manage to entertain. While I do tend to like my vampires more on the scary than the sexy side, I will say that this makes for a fine evening for Halloween themed popcorn viewing.

"Um, are you awake? Can I have a drink of blood... I mean , water?"

Enjoy this review? Click an ad and support this blog.

Anime Juke Box - Truth - Revolutionary Girl Utena

Ready for some more J-pop? This time I dig back into the 1990s with one of the most creative and unique anime series I'd seen: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I really need to write up a review or three for this series and its bizarre film.

One of the most striking things about the series is the music, which combines wonderful orchestral moments with full blown 70s style rock opera. I sampled one of the rock opera bits before, but today I'm taking a look at the end title piece from the first season. It's still got the wailing guitars, the full throated female singer and a disco backbeat - all things that Utena has in spades. One of my favorite end credits pieces from 1990s anime here is Truth performed by Luca Yumi. And yes she is saying "Kissing love and true your heart." Because why the hell not.

Tenchi Muyo: Daughter of Darkness (1997)

Introduction:

The Tenchi Muyo series was certainly the king of anime in the 1990s. So it goes without saying that after a successful television series and first movie, there would be another movie. But this film seems to follow the original OAV series, and instead of looking at Tenchi’s past, looks to his future – as a father!

Summary:

As Tenchi (Matthew K. Miller) is heading home one summer afternoon, he comes across a pretty girl sitting on the shrine steps. She smiles warmly and calls him “Daddy”. Her name is Mayuka (Julie Maddalena) and while she knows that Tenchi is her father, she has no clear memories of her past. This is all very odd, since she doesn’t look that much younger than him. Of course this puts Ryoko (Petrea Burchard) on her guard, convinced that this girl is a threat to Tenchi. Washu (K.T. Vogt) starts doing some research on Mayuka’s DNA to find out more, especially when Mayuka displays the same powers as Tenchi.

But mostly everyone in the house befriends the lost girl, especially Sasami (Sherry Lynn) and Ayeka (Jennifer Darling). But evil is lurking in the background as a mysterious figure called Yuzuha (Barbara Goodson) watches and waits. She’s got a few tricks in store for Tenchi and the girls. All she has to do is let this Daughter of Darkness trap him.

Good Points:

• All the characters seem to be their less intense OAV versions
• Mayuka is a likable character
• Ko Otani provides a really good musical score 

Bad Points:

• Yuzuha’s motivations and plan aren’t well developed
• Some confusion on what continuity this takes place in
• Reduced scope compared to the previous film

Overall:

For me this is one of the most entertaining of the Tenchi Muyo incarnations. The characters seem like friends, all dealing with the bizarre revelation of Tenchi’s daughter. Miyuka is so sweet (if a little weird) that you really worry about her fate, and place in Yuzuha’s plan. If only the script was polished a bit this could have been the best of the movies. As it stands, it’s a bit confused, but still very entertaining.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 4

Script: 3

Music: 4

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

In Depth Review

Tenchi is about to meet... his daughter?

In the interest of full disclosure I should say this was my first exposure to the whole Tenchi franchise. I picked up this DVD on a whim. It was one of the few anime DVDs available at Tower Records, and I was just getting back into Japanese animation. I had heard about Tenchi, but hadn’t had a chance to see any of it. The OAV series and television series would not come to DVD for many years. This was the first bit of Tenchi to come out on a shiny disc in Region 1.

What I’m saying, is that Daughter of Darkness holds a lot of nostalgia for me. Every time I watch it, I’m taken back in time to a lot of good memories. That is one of the reasons why it gets regular play at Christmas time, and why I still count it as one of my favorite incarnations of the franchise.

That said, I’m going to do my best to be level headed in this review. As a whole, this is entertaining, but kind of a mess all the way around.

The Startica festival on planet Jurai.

From an animation point of view, things look pretty typical of the OAV continuity, looking a lot like the animation style from the later half of Series 1. Some of the epic scope from Tenchi Muyo in Love is missing here. No huge space battles or massive destruction. One of the most elaborate sequences is the star festival on planet Jurai called Startica. The flashbacks on Jurai give us a little bit more of a peek at this world and their tree based technology. Sadly, most of the footage is reused several times in the film.

More time and design was spent on Yuzuha’s dimension of darkness. It’s filled with bizarre tunnels, deranged toys and moist and sticky television monitors (call David Cronenberg!). It plays a large part in the finale sequence and the animators get to have some fun with scale in it. Yuzuha’s obsession with Startica and Christmas fuel her final attack and so you get scenes with a huge Christmas tree, killer gift ribbon and a teddy bear the size of King Kong.

The English voice acting in Daughter of Darkness is pretty solid all the way around. The cast has Tenchi and the girls down cold, and they perform all their roles with skill. New to the cast is Wendee Lee playing Kiyone. Lee was a veteran of anime voice acting, so I’m sure this was an easy fit for her.

Yuzuha has a wicked plan that just doesn't add up.

The two new roles, Mayuka and Yuzuha are played very well. Maddalena brings an innocence and exuberance to Mayuka. It’s critical that she come across as both naïve and yet mysterious. Maddalena manages both. Her curiosity about the world around her as well belief that Tenchi is her father are conveyed with sincerity. Contrast this to when Yuzuha controls her and we can almost hear the demon speaking through her. It’s a very good performance and key to the whole movie working as well as it does.

Goodson’s performance as Yuzuha is just as effective. I love the maniacal glee at the mischief she is creating. In flashbacks, she is sympathetic, until we learn more about her. But it is her seething rage at Tenchi’s grandfather that becomes the key here. The final scenes of the movie are driven by this rage. It’s an interesting character with some twisted morals, and Goodson is really great in the part.

Ko Otani’s musical score is probably my favorite of the three films (and probably my favorite of the franchise). He creates three themes for the film. One based on Yuzhua and her dark world. One based on the innocence of Mayuka (and seems very connected to Yuzuha’s theme). Finally there is the theme for Christmas/Startica. All three themes are woven into each other, given different variations and conclude in a satisfactory way. Mayuka’s theme get the most airtime, with several variations throughout her story as she arrives innocence and ends up twisted by Yuzuha in the finale. The score is heavy on electronics, but Otani uses them well, creating a wonderful atmosphere, as well some excellent driving action when needed. The end theme, Manatsu no Eve is based off the Christmas/Startica theme is performed by Mariko Nagi and is a nice pop piece.

Ayeka doesn't think Mihoshi or Ryoko have a clue.

There are few things that really appeal to me about Daughter of Darkness. One is the entire summer atmosphere of the whole movie. The cast is dressed in summer clothing and doing things around the house that are typical of the season. The animation and action combine to create a real sense of time, and a feeling of carefree summer days. No one is going to school. They’re doing some chores, but then hanging out eating watermelon, watching fireworks and trying to stay cool. This is well contrasted to the Christmas flashbacks. Here everyone is bundled up, there are decorations all over the house and the whole cast is celebrating. It’s no wonder that Mayuka wants to stay with the gang and have fun all day long.

Ayeka opens up to Ryoko about her fears.

In sharp contrast to Tenchi Muyo in Love, the cast here seems to be enjoying each other’s company. Ayeka and Ryoko aren’t constantly fighting. In fact the two rivals have a great scene together, as they talk about the possibility of Tenchi not picking either of them as a girlfriend. Darling as Ayeka and Burchard as Ryoko both get to show off some acting chops here, letting the girls take things a notch down. It is this fellowship, as well as the fact that Mihoshi isn’t a drooling moron that leads me to believe this is supposed to fall in the OAV continuity. But more on that in a minute. It was nice to see all the characters behaving like a family. Sure Ayeka and Ryoko aren’t going to ever be friends, but here we see that they at least respect each other.

Daughter of Darkness also drops a lot of the stupid comedic moments that plagued Tenchi Universe and even Series 2 of the OAV. Humor comes out of situations naturally, not because of some gag the writers tried to force into the plot. Instead of going for full-blown laughs, the movie focuses on the group dynamic once Mayuka is introduced, and how each character reacts and changes because of it. It’s really more character-centric than the plot heavy previous film.

Ryoko has had enough of Mayuka.

But this second movie is far from perfect. As I mentioned, no one really knows what continuity this event happens. While it seems to fit the OAV timeline, and shares the one hour running time, as well as the watercolor images during the end titles, a few things don’t add up. First Kiyone did not appear in the OAV series at all. My guess is that she was popular after her appearance in Tenchi Universe (gotta admit she’s one of the best parts of that show), so they figured they couldn’t have a movie without her. The other element is Tenchi’s energy weapon. In the OAV this was known as the Light Hawk Wings, a kind of triple bladed thing he used against Kagato. But in Tenchi Universe it became the Light Hawk Sword, and that is what the whole cast refers to it as in this film. It looks much more like the blade in the television series. It’s a bit confusing, but only for folks who have been following Tenchi closely.

More annoying are all the odd little elements that just don’t add up from a script point of view. Most of this revolves around Yuzuha’s plot. We know she hates Tenchi’s grandfather, Yosho. But instead of focusing her attack on Yosho, she focuses it on Tenchi. She never says why, but it’s implied that Tenchi looks so much like Yosho that it makes her hate transfer to him.

Father and daughter about to disappear.

So Yuzuha creates Mayuka to go to the Tenchi household and … um… do stuff? Obviously Ryoko becomes jealous of Mayuka almost immediately, and Washu and Yosho attempt to figure out more about her. But the few times Yuzuha takes control of Mayuka it’s to have the girl grope, kiss and lick a stupefied Tenchi. Um, yeah kinda gross if that really is his daughter. Each time this happens, a dimensional doorway opens. But usually another cast member comes in and sees the whole unpleasant scene and it stops.

Two things could be going on here – but again nothing is explained. I’m guessing Yuzuha wants to pull Tenchi into her dark dimension to mess with. I’m also assuming that her love/hate of Yosho makes her love/hate Tenchi. So she actually possesses Mayuka to exercise her desires on Tenchi while he is in a trance. This is supported by the fact that each time Mayuka does the forbidden dance with Tenchi her eyes are a different color and she speaks more like Yuzuha.

Happy Christmas memories

But it still feels sloppy. The kissing, groping and licking aren’t necessary to open the dimensional door because Mayuka doesn’t need to kiss Sasami to open the door and abduct her. I don’t want to think it, but maybe the writers were just pervs and wanted to see Mayuka get it on with Tenchi.

Part of the issue with Daughter of Darkness is the really short running time of an hour. It must have been tough to cram in all the needed exposition, as well as all the great character moments they did come up with. The movie flies by a little too briskly, and if they had another 20 minutes or half an hour, all these odd little script moments could be resolved. Or maybe not, hard to say really. For what it is, you get some solid entertainment and a few great character moments for just about everyone in the cast. Yes, nostalgia plays a big part in my enjoyment here, but still it’s my favorite of the Tenchi films. One more Tenchi film was released in 1999: Tenchi Forever.

Anime Juke Box - Absolute Destiny Apocalypse - Revolutionary Girl Utena

The 1990s were great for fans of the 1970s, because there was a huge nostalgic boom for that disco decade. It explains why we ended up with The Brady Bunch Movie as well as Boogie Nights. But we also had a bit of a 70s throw back for film music and even J-pop featured in anime. One of the most 70s-tastic scores of the 1990s was for the anime series Revolutionary Girl Utena. During the series the leading lady would engage in a sword duel with various rivals, and the whole thing was scored with a full blown 70s rock opera style of pop.

The musical style is kind of hard to describe, so I'll just let you listen to it. This piece is played quite a few times during the series as Utena climbs a glass staircase to face her next dueling opponent. The title can be translated a few ways, but I've always seen it as Absolute Destiny Apocalypse performed by the mysterious J.A. Seazer. And if you think this sounds strange, some of the other dueling songs are even odder.

Cure (1997)

Introduction:

Kiyoshi Kurosawa is a Japanese director I’ve had on my radar for a long time now. I’ve seen a couple of his movies and they were very intriguing. In many ways he reminds me of David Lynch. He has a very strong visual style, knows how to use sound to add and develop atmosphere, he doesn’t rely on plot, but rather on themes and visuals to carry the viewer along. His films take their time building toward a climax. I enjoyed the two films I’d seen previously, but I felt I was missing something. So I decided to go back to the film where Kurosawa really made a name for himself.

Summary:

There appears to be a serial killer on the loose. Several people have been found murdered with a large X carved into their body, severing both major blood vessels in the neck. Sometimes this was the cause of death; sometimes this was done after the fact. But the most puzzling element to the case is the simple fact that no clear connection can be found among this wide variety of victims. Detective Takabe (Koji Yakusho) is finding it incredibly frustrating. At home things aren’t any better for him. His wife Fumie (Anna Nakagawa) is suffering from a mental illness that causes her to forget where she is and react to him in confusing and contradictory ways.

A break in the case comes when a strange young man (Masato Hagiwara) is found near the scene of one of the murders. He has no memory of his name, his life or even what question someone asked seconds ago. Instead of answering questions, he constantly questions others with the simple phrase, “Who are you?” The more detective Takabe interacts with this young man the more convinced he becomes that the young man is somehow causing these murders to occur. Takabe’s physiologist friend Sakuma (Tsuyoshi Ujiki) warns him not to get in too deep. But Takabe is convinced he may have found a Cure to the illness that plagues this city, but it may turn out that the medicine is more bitter than he expects.

Good Points:

• Kurosawa sets a mood of impending dread that builds over the film
• Koji Yakusho does an amazing job in his role
• Filled with layered symbolism and themes

Bad Points:

• The narrative is fuzzy at best
• Images, sound, atmosphere and theme take over the film
• I’m still not sure if there is a solution to this puzzle film

Overall:

This is an intriguing film, showing off some masterful skills with camera work, sound effects, editing and mood. Even with the obtuse plot, Yakusho delivers in his role as the frustrated detective who may be losing his mind (or maybe not). Make no mistake, the answers do not come easily in this film, but there is a method to the madness. If this sounds intriguing to you, definitely check it out. I found it a wonderful exercise in building and executing dread.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 5

Sound: 5

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Music: 3

Direction: 5

Entertainment: 4

Total:  5

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review. 

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Introduction

After managing the tough task of introducing a new actor as James Bond to the movie audience in 1995 with Goldeneye, it was business as usual for the next Bond film. Well almost. Turns out some viewers were not completely satisfied with the film. The creators went out of their way to correct these annoyances. Including ramping up the action. The result is Tomorrow Never Dies, a movie that promises to deliver your daily dose of explosions and gunfire for an entire movie in the pre-credit sequence!

Summary

A British warship is sunk in the South China Sea and a Chinese plane is shot down. Suddenly World War III seems imminent as the British and the Chinese suspect each other of foul play. M (Judi Dench) head of the British Secret Service sends her best agent, James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) to investigate. It seems that media mogul; Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) may have something to do with the plot. Bond meets up with Carver’s wife Paris (Teri Hatcher) and rekindles an old fling they had. At the same time a woman who claims to work for a Chinese paper named Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) seems to be conducting her own investigation of Carver. Things get dangerous very quickly as Bond finds out that insanity, money, power and satellites do not mix.

Good Points:

• Pierce Brosnan is in full James Bond mode.
• An excellent first half.
• One of the most entertaining car chases in the Bond cannon.

Bad Points:

• The villain’s plot is not very interesting
• The action scenes tend to outstay their welcome
• The bond gals don’t make much of an impression in this one

Overall:

For a full throttle action film, Tomorrow Never Dies delivers. For anyone expecting a film that balances thrills and atmosphere with that action, you’ll be disappointed. The result is entertaining, but lacking the character of the previous film.

Score (out of 5)

Visual Aspects – 3

Sound Aspects – 5

Acting – 3

Music – 3

Script – 2

Direction – 3

Entertainment – 3

Final Grade: 3

Film Review

What I find strange is the fact that Goldeneye was hailed as a fine return to form for James Bond and an excellent introduction for Pierce Brosnan. In the same breath fans of the series will site numerous issues they have with the film. Included was the lack of gadgets (especially using the new BMW), a wretched score (which I actually enjoy) and surprisingly not enough action for a Bond film. With these elements in mind Tomorrow Never Dies attempts to one-up its predecessor.

From a visual standpoint, this Bond film delivers. We get great locations including Germany, Vietnam, England, and a pre-credit sequence in the mountains of Russia. The work on the sound stages is a mixed affair: some look realistic, others are obviously sets. Costumes and make-up are up to typical Bond standards. I do have to mention that this film uses lots and lots of product placement. It gets pretty distracting at times, but only gets worse in Die Another Day.

All four of the Pierce Brosnan films have had good sound work on them. Tomorrow Never Dies being the most action packed of the four has some of the best use of sound and sound motion of the four. Explosions resonate well, and bullets fly around your head.

Pierce Brosnan does a great job as James Bond. He gets to play more than one dimension, especially when dealing Paris Carver. He seems more comfortable here. It’s a shame that the script doesn’t let James Bond breathe. Instead Brosnan fans have to wait for The World Is Not Enough to see the actor in top form as James Bond.

When it comes to the Bond girls, it’s a mixed bag. Michelle Yeoh does a good job with the part of Wai Lin. She’s played the tough spy character before (only as a detective with Jackie Chan in Police Story 3 aka Supercop). She is believable when she plays tough, and believable when she’s undercover as well. Her only weak moments are when she’s supposed to be falling for Bond. I didn’t get much chemistry between the two, but that might have more to do with the script. Teri Hatcher does a average job as Paris Carver. Her part is rather small considering the big play up she gets. She does deliver key information, but ends up killed by the bizarre Dr. Kaufman (Vincent Schiavelli).

I remember how excited I was that Jonathan Pryce was going to play Elliot Carver. It seemed perfect. But what ends up happening is that he starts going overboard with his evil/insane/mogul routine. He doesn’t come across as a genuine threat. He’s more outlandish and goofy than anything else. Not to mention his villainous plot is pretty lame. It's essentially the same plot as You Only Live Twice and The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker. So its a bit stale on top of it. This is probably because the original script was scuttled pretty close to the start of filming, and this had to be whipped up on the fly. The original script was going to revolve around the transfer of Hong Kong to the Chinese, but the producers got cold feet about who it may offend.

Supporting cast is solid. Back for another round of fun is Judi Dench as M, Samantha Bond as Moneypenny and Desmond Llewelyn as Q. M seems to have mellowed a bit in this film. Her admiration for Bond is more apparent than in the other Brosnan films. Samantha Bond is my favorite Moneypenny. There, I said it and I won’t take it back. She is so playful and cute she just crackles when she’s sharing the screen with Brosnan. Desmond Llewlyn as Q is one of the highlights of the film. His banter with Bond is classic stuff. I just wish he didn’t have to wear that stupid Avis outfit.

On the villainous side we get Gotz Otto as Stamper, Carver’s muscle. Stamper plays the part more along the line of Necros from The Living Daylights, except that Necros got more screen time and came across as more dangerous. Stamper seems to be big strong hired muscle with enough brains to get things done and unquestioning loyalty to Carver. We also get Dr. Kaufman, a character that is menacing and humorous. He felt like a character from one of the Roger Moore films and was enjoyable, but bumped off too quickly.

Eric Serra has been demonized for his score to Goldeneye. Fans of John Barry’s jazzy brassy music hate it with a passion. So David Arnold was brought in to remedy the situation. David Arnold took the electronic rhythms that Serra experimented with and mixed them with a very brassy score. The result was the next step in the evolution of the Bond score, especially compared to Barry’s final score for a James Bond film, The Living Daylights. That said, Arnold overuses the James Bond theme. Bond escapes from an explosion, cue the theme. Bond drives his car around, cue the theme. Bond kills a bad guy, cue the theme. Bond opens a door, cue the theme.

I can’t mention the music without mentioning the two songs that accompany the film. “Surrender (Tomorrow Never Dies)” is a great tune. It mixes the brassy sound with the powerful vocals of k.d. Lang. David Arnold helped write the tune, and worked it into the score for several key moments. Unfortunately, someone, somewhere decided k.d. Lang wasn’t popular enough with the kids. Enter Sheryl Crow. Enter a song that is one of the worst in the whole James Bond series. Actually the lyrics and music aren’t bad, but Crow’s voice just doesn’t carry anything with it.

The reason this movie doesn’t work for me is the script. I’ve heard numerous things about this production, and while I’m not sure what is true and what’s a rumor I do have to wonder about the script. Bond films are action films first and foremost. But most of the Bond films follow a direct line of story and fit the action scenes into the plot. This film seems to have gone about it backwards. Cool sequences were dreamed up and the plot was fitted around them. The action takes over. The script does have good moments, especially those that happen in Hamburg. But once we get to Bond’s HALO jump, things plummet just as fast. In addition to the weak script, we get the beginning of the hideously bad one-liners that the writers pummeled Brosnan with. In the end it feels like the script was reworked so many times that it was killed.

With a weak script it must have been very difficult for director, Roger Spottiswoode to make it work. The two key action scenes in Hamburg are the best. Bond does some old fashioned espionage in Carver’s corporate headquarters and is discovered. He makes his escape with only a pistol and a minimum of gadgets. This scene played with plenty of excitement. But the car chase in the parking garage trumps it. Pierce plays the scene like a kid in a candy store.

Later scenes are not as well executed. Most of them go on way too long, or have some kind of strange ending to them. The motorcycle chase sequence is a good example of this. It starts off well enough (especially with Wai Lin and Bond handcuffed together), but after the motorcycle jumps the helicopter, the chase should have ended. Instead you get a goofy scene of the helicopter chasing Bond and threatening to chop them up with the propeller. The final battle aboard Carver’s stealth boat has no tension and goes on for so long that I end up tuning out.

It reflects in my final entertainment grade. I end up tuning out of this movie when it moves to the Vietnam scenes. With this last viewing I approached the film as an action extravaganza instead of an espionage film and I enjoyed it a bit more. For a piece of fluffy summer entertainment it fits the bill. I just wish they had added a bit more brains to the script. This could have easily been a classic, instead of an also ran.

Future War (1997) - MST3K Review

Summary

After Sister Ann (Travis Brooks Stewart) nearly runs over a mute and nameless man (Daniel Bernhardt), she takes him to a local shelter she works at. In a matter of days the man is able to speak and explains that he is a slave, escaped from a starship run by dangerous cyborgs. These cyborgs use dinosaurs to track down the slave and kill anyone who gets in their way. Sister Ann and the runaway must keep the dinosaurs at bay, elude the Cyborg Master (Robert Z'Dar), and keep the cops from arresting them. The only solution is to get the local gangs and the shelter staff to do battle with the alien forces in a real Future War.

Movie Review

If my summary sounds a little jumbled and confused, well that's because Future War isn't very well thought out. You get the feeling very early on that this story idea came about because someone liked Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park and decided to fuse the two together. Hire a guy who looks like Jean Claude Van Damme and you've got a sci-fi action winner, right?

Well the big problem with basing your movie on two huge budget sci-fi blockbusters is that you need to have a budget to really make this work. The story requires dinosaurs and cyborgs, not to mention space ships and explosions and nuns. Really, we are talking a good-sized budget, even if you are an independent production. The crew behind Future War didn't have that kind of budget. In fact it doesn't look like they had much of a budget at all.

It's kind of sad, because from the right perspective this could have been a crazy fun type of movie. The story idea sounds so much like something a grade school kid would come up with on the playground, and the script is so haphazard, I can't imagine any of the cast or crew taking it too seriously at all. In fact some of the performances come across like there were only there as friends or just filling in for line readings (the cop on the phone is especially bad).

The main cast is all over the place, they are trying but honestly none of them is very good. Bernhardt does look a lot like the muscles from Brussels, and even has the accent. But he's not convincing as an escaped slave. I do believe that he is a martial artist in a crappy movie. Stewart is horrible during her voice over sequences (but the writing is atrocious). During her actual scenes she ranges from shrill and irritating to almost convincing. Z'Dar is hired for his size and intimidating features, but he acts like a generic cyborg. The supporting cast goes from average to horrible.

Aside from long sequences of walking down streets or inside reservoir complex, Future War actually moves at a decent pace. A few of the talking scenes go on a little too long, but it might be the bad acting that makes it feel that way. If the script weren’t such a mess, I would almost be convinced that a logical movie could have been made. Some of the action scenes are even staged well, with editing making some of the hits actually look pretty good. But there is the use of cardboard boxes. There are two action sequences staged in "warehouses" filled with empty cardboard boxes. It may have been economical, but it sure looks silly.

The special effects are where the whole thing goes wrong. The dinosaurs are actually pretty detailed little puppets. They look pretty cool on the surface and have some impressive motion (compared to the hilariously static Hobgoblins). The only problem is they aren't very big. The director tries to use forced perspective and model work to make them look bigger, the only problem is when they have to interact with actual people you end up seeing how small these guys are. It also makes the dinos look like they shrink the closer they get to people. While the puppets looks pretty cool, they are still obviously puppets, and some of the shots hold on them a little too long or in areas that are too brightly lit. Either they were confident in the model work, or they knew it looked silly and just went with it.

Then there are the cyborgs. Basically get a big actor, dress him in black, put on some clown white make-up (or not, depends on the scene I guess) and strap all kinds of plastic bric-a-brac on him. Make sure all that stuff is painted black or metallic. Put a visor thingy over an eye, make something look like a ray gun here, and you have your basic cyborg, right? Um, not quite. Add to it the cheesy computer graphics that supposedly represent the cyborg's vision (rendering everything pixilated and in neon colors), and you've got a real questionable menace.

At some point when you are waving little plastic dinosaurs in front of the camera to make it look like the dinosaur is huge compared to the kids in the park, you have to say to yourself - this is ridiculous and it's going to stink. Rumor has it, that's exactly what the producer of Future War thought. He even told the cast and crew that at some point this motion picture would end up on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Episode Review

And so Future War obtains the distinction of been the most recent movie featured on MST3K. It was released in 1997 (but was shot in 1994), and this episode aired in 1999. A similar event happened in Season One of the show, with Robot Holocaust being shot in 1986 and being featured in an episode in 1989. Does this make this episode any better or worse? Not really.

Part of the problem is the slow start to the film There is a long pre-credit sequence, meant to pull the viewer into the action. It has the opposite effect, featuring characters we don't know sneaking around in the darkness. The momentum of the episode never seems to recover. Once our hero shows up, things pick up and the laughs easier (because the dinos are after him as well). But the movie does hit a few hiccups and riffing slows down because of it. Slow riffing is fine, but sometimes the energy can be drained, and that seems to happen in this episode.

Lots of laughs in Future War are generated by the dinosaurs and cyborgs of course. But you also get lots of humor from our "nun" in training, the antics of "the runaway" and the fact that he refers to himself as a tool. You've also got some funny bits with the shelter and guys who run it. But some of the best stuff occurs at the end when our heroes do battle against the dinosaurs at the reservoir. You've also got the hilarious bit with the final confrontation with the Master Cyborg, a moment that is so funny you get it for the stinger at the end of the end credits too.

The host segments are a bit mixed. The show starts with Mike and bots using a computer program to determine how many "times a lady" each of them is. Then Pearl appears and subjects the bots to not so secret LSD tests. Observer and Bobo provide appropriate musical accompaniment. Tom is inspired by the movie and challenges Gypsy to a kick boxing battle. Then Mike and bots thank Pearl for not killing them. It's very heart felt. Crow is inspired by how important water is in the movie, and appears as Droppy the water droplet. I think he's still tripping on LSD at this point. After the movie finishes Mike tries on a Robert Z'Dar sized chin and Bobo and Observer's band has hit the big time!

Future War is one of those episodes, like Quest of the Delta Knights that I remember more fondly then it may deserve. It's a funny episode, how can it not be with the cute dinosaurs and silly looking cyborgs. But as goofy as the movie is the riffing never takes off. I find myself enjoying it, but wishing it was a little faster with the riffing or a little more up tempo. Mike and the bots do a solid job, but I'm left thinking it could have been better.

Three exploding dinosaurs out of five.

This episode is available in the Mystery Science Theater 3000: 20th Anniversary Edition.