Barbarian Queen (1985)

Introduction:

Straight from the barbarian age of fantasy films in the 1980s comes this Roger Corman produced sword and sorcery extravaganza. I love this stuff: the awesome puppet monsters, the babes with blades, the fight choreography that ranges from decent to hilarious, the slave rebellions and the musclely heroes. Yes my friends it’s all here and it’s oh so bad and oh so good.

Summary:

Amethea (Lana Clarkson) is in her barbarian village on the day of her wedding. Everyone is happy and celebratory so we know something horrible is about to happen. Sure enough Evil Lord Arrakur (Armando Capo) rides into the village with his soldiers. They promptly slaughter all the men and carry off the women they didn't rape right there.

Amethea survives with three other deadly gals and they vow vengeance. They pursue the army having topless adventures along the way. At the Arrakur's castle they are promptly captured, stripped, and tortured or flung into a harem. Of course they escape, gather a rebel army and attack again. And yes they are mostly nude while doing all this. I’m sure Corman wouldn’t have it any other way.

Good Points:

• Clarkson gets into the role of the sword-swinging avenger
• Some of the action scenes and handled well
• Gets you cheering for the barbarians to take down the vile overlord

Bad Points:

• Some of the acting is so painfully bad
• Very misogynistic and exploitative
• That torture scene goes on way too long and is pretty unsavory

Overall:

I'm torn with this movie. On the one hand Lana Clarkson seems game not only diving into the battles but has no problem running around without clothes. She's not a good actress, but you can tell she's going all in. And that was the general spirit of the whole film, everyone seemed to be having a good time. The cast and crew knew exactly what type of movie they are making. But man is this movie misogynistic. Women get raped at the drop of a hat, women are tortured, women are sex objects. It gets a bit too much. The film is only 71 minutes and moves at a brisk pace, so that helps. In the end, Amethea doesn't need a man to save her butt, she does it all herself - and that was refreshing in a film like this. I got to admit I was laughing at all the ways director Hector Olivera  devised to show the maximum number of naked breasts on the screen at once.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 3

Sound: 3

Acting:  3

Script:  3

Music: 3

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

Don't let the 80s hair fool you. She is still ready
to kick ass.

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And Then This Happened... Robotech

When you're on the run from alien invaders and road rambles on in front of you, tempers flare. All the rest stops have been obliterated by particle beam weapons, so you can't find a good clean bathroom. All the food trucks have been ransacked by mutated coyotes and then your attempt at playing "slug bug" with your companions ends with Lunk yelling at Annie for "crossing the line and touching him!"Its enough for you to pull this Cyclone over and sit down for a good sulk. Anyway, what captions can you come up with for this little moment from Robotech: The New Generation?

And then this happened...

Anime Juke Box - Main Title - Robotech

Back when I first saw Robotech in 1985, it was part of the after school cartoon line up. This included cartoons like Inspector Gadget, He-man and the Masters of the Universe, Transformers and G.I. Joe. All those shows had something in common.  Their opening title songs were actual songs - with lyrics. Sure they were usually simple lyrics using the title of the show over and over again.  This way it was easy to remember what toys to ask for when your birthday came around.

Then Robotech came on and the main title was heroic, majestic and orchestral. Composed by Ulpio Minucci it sounds a bit like John Williams Superman main title. It is certainly going for a more majestic sound than "Doo doo doo doo doo Inspector Gadget." Not only was this theme used for the opening credits, a slightly different version played during the end credits.  And if one of the heroes did something really awesome, this theme usually kicked in. Needless to say, this tune was pretty much hardwired into the brain of anyone who grew up with the show. Just hearing it makes me want to jump into a Veritech fighter and blow up some alien starships.

Score Sample: Legend (1985)

After making Blade Runner Ridley Scott wanted to get in on the action making a fantasy adventure film. He concocted a script that was based on classic fairy tales, but keeping the dark and disturbing edge they originally had. The movie had a really troubled production and that even came down to the music.

Originally Jerry Goldsmith crafted a very interesting orchestral score that used some synthesizer elements to it. It is a score that is dense with themes that each interweave and interact with each other in surprising ways. It may be one of Goldsmith's most complex scores, and is one that you appreciate more and more each time you listen to it. This may be the reason why Goldsmith was so disappointed when his score was thrown out after the movie was heavily re-edited. This caused Goldsmith's score to be unusable, and also gave the producers a chance to pull in popular electronic group Tangerine Dream to score the film.

Tangerine Dream has simpler more obvious themes but they are catchy and work really well in the shorter cut of the film. This is version I grew up with, so I actually enjoy this version of the score quite a bit. Still Goldsmith is my favorite film composer and what he crafted for this movie was really impressive.

So I figure I'll give you two pieces for the same scene and you can enjoy them. First up is Goldsmith's score for the Dress Waltz, a creepy scene where Mia Sara dances with a dark dress that absorbs her.

And then the Tangerine Dream version of the same scene called The Dance in this case. Enjoy!

Score Sample: Red Sonja (1985)

Originally we were supposed to get a trilogy of Conan movies back in the 1980s. But the poor reception of Conan the Destroyer and the fact that Arnold wanted to move beyond muscle bound sword swinging antics meant that a true sequel was out of the picture. But Arnold had a contract to make three films with Dino De Laurentis. So Arnold said he'd be a supporting character in the movie and they went ahead.

Thus Red Sonja was born. Brigitte Nielsen in the title role as an avenging warrior with red hair and a big sword. Arnold plays Kalidor who is pretty much a Conan stand in. The result is a movie that is pretty infamous for being really bad.

One aspect that is rarely criticized is the outstanding music provided by Ennio Morricone. Morricone is best known for his work on spaghetti westerns like The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly as well as a few Hollywood flicks in the 80s and 90s like The Untouchables and Once Upon a Time in America. Morricone has written a score for pretty much every type of genre, and we get a full blown fantasy adventure score here. It has a bit more of a classical feel to it, as opposed to the more medieval feel of Poledouris' work on the two Conan movies. But it works great as a solo listen.

One of my favorite tracks is Fighting the Soldiers which actually has the chorus chanting Sonja's name. Its kind of cheesy and yet so awesome all at the same time. So enjoy that track at the 2:23 mark in this suite from Red Sonja by Ennio Morricone.

Flesh + Blood (1985)

Introduction:

So we had that bit of fantasy film explosion in the 1980s. Movies like Excalibur and Beastmaster were exciting folks and getting them interested in seeing more sword and sorcery adventures. Well director Paul Verhoeven felt that those movies were missing out on the real fun elements of the middle ages: bloody impulsive violence, raping, pillaging and plague. He decided to rectify that with a movie that put the middle ages into perspective, and no this isn’t like something you’d see at a ren faire. No, it is a Paul Verhoeven film, and that should tell you just what you are in for.

Summary:

Martin (Rutger Hauer) leads a merry band of mercenaries who loves nothing more than killing, looting, and raping. They are guided by the experienced wit of Hawkwood (Jack Thompson), and are hired by the Lord Arnolfini (Fernando Hilbeck) to reclaim his walled town. After Martin and his band achieve victory Arnolfini decides he doesn’t want to pay Martin and is group for their hard work.  He uses Hawkwood to turn the tables on Martin and the group leaves the battle without a coin or a wench.

Meanwhile, Steven (Tom Burlinson), son of the Lord is about to meet his betrothed, Agnes (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Steven is a clever young man who fancies himself the next Divinci when it comes to mechanics and construction. But he is not a fighter. So when Agnes is kidnapped by Martin and his crew, Steven must go to Hawkwood for aid. While they come up with a plan and attempt to hunt Martin down, the mercenaries have their way with Agnes. But she uses her charms and wits to get into their good graces. Has Agnes fallen for her rough and ready bad boy, or is she secretly waiting for Steven to save her? The fate of all will be told in the meeting of Flesh + Blood. Ronald Lacey, Brion James and Bruno Kirby round out the cast.

Good Points:

• Some impressive medieval production design and visuals
• The action set pieces are well filmed and memorable
• A bold and explosive musical score by Basil Poledouris

Bad Points:

• So heavy on the gore and sex that you could call it exploitative
• American accents in medieval European film may distract some viewers
• Those looking for some sorcery with the sword will be disappointed

Overall:

Verhoeven makes an in your face aggressive and exploitative historical adventure film. Martin and his crew are real mercenaries, and brutes on top of it. But the nobles are just as bad with the horrible way they treat just about everyone including their own family. Not a likable character in the bunch, but the film moves at a great pace with lots of energy. While going for a more realistic view of the late middle ages, it also manages to comment on the power of religious faith (and how it can be abused) and the futility of striving against the brutality of humans. A solid film if you have the stomach for it.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 4

Script: 3

Music: 5

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 4

Total:  4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1985) - MST3K Review

Summary:

In the not too distant future the giant company Novicorp dominates all of society. The huge Chairman (Donald Moore) controls all our lives, for profit. Most folks seem content with this, everyone except for Aram Fingal (Raul Julia). Fingal just wants to have some fun in his life. But even classic films like Casablanca are outlawed, and his days are spent in endless drudgery in a giant computer bank. Fingal eventually gets caught watching Casablanca at his workstation and this causes him to be flagged for a compulsory vacation.

This means that his consciousness will be placed into the body of baboon for some R&R. I’m not kidding. While this is happening a mishap causes Fingal’s body to be misplaced. The computech responsible for the safety of Fingal’s consciousness, Apollonia James (Linda Griffiths) does what she can to preserve his consciousness as the search for his body drags on. She ends up putting his consciousness into the Novicorp computer for safekeeping… and that is when Fingal starts to create his own reality. At first it’s all fun and games, including scenes inspired by his favorite classic films. But eventually Fingal figures that if he is in the main computer at Novicorp, why not make some changes. But the chairman isn’t going to take that lying down, and soon virtual Fingal is running for is virtual life, and Apollonia must decide if she wants to help the corporation or help the rebel.

Movie Review:

Great names in cyberpunk: Neo, Flynn, Kusanagi ...
and Fingle?

Based on a short story by John Varley, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is like a prototype for The Matrix, but inspired by 1980s technology. It takes some of the concepts introduced in Tron but molds them into a science fiction dystopia environment. In fact it reminds me a bit of William Gibson’s Neuromancer, but without the dark edge, and delving a bit more into the corporate world of bureaucracy and control (shades of Tron again).  And much like Tron I’m not sure if this film would appeal to anyone outside of the computer industry when it was released in the 1985.

While, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is ahead of it’s time, it also has the sense of fun that seemed to be a requisite of 1980s science fiction adventures. There’s a lot of humor built into the story, especially dealing with Fingal’s increasingly frustrated attempts to fight the system from the outside and then his joy at discovering the freedom of creating his own world within the computer. The use of Casablanca seems contradictory to the futuristic setting, but it creates a fun disconnect. Then you have the whole concept that people’s minds being put into the bodies of animals as some kind of therapy is just so goofy it makes sense.

I'm still not sure how getting "doppled" into a drunk
baboon is supposed to help any body.

It is the inherent goofiness that makes the whole movie entertaining. Unfortunately there are a few things working against it. The movie was made for public television, and therefore didn’t have a very large budget. But I think a considerable amount of the budget did make it onto the screen. There are a lot of blue screen and computer image effects. Sure this was done in the 1985, so it looks pretty crude to modern eyes, but I think it adds a charm to the movie. Now this movie was all shot on 1980s video, so it has a look that has been known to cause blindness in hard-core film fans. But it gets the job done and the interesting futuristic costumes and props show up well enough.

Probably the most interesting performance in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is by Raul Julia as Fingal. He gets to have some fun playing the frustrated computer programmer, a virtual reality rebel, and the suave Casablanca version of himself, Rick Blaine. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if Julia quite understood all the technical aspects of the story. He seems a bit lost at times and it causes his performance to be wooden. Other times, he’s completely into the part and brings a lot of energy to the table

Apollonia spends half the movie in this same pose.

The rest of the cast is pretty average all the way around. Griffiths plays the nerdy heroine Apollonia well. We get that she’s clever and resourceful, but also not keen to lose her job. Unfortunately she gets saddled with some really bad voice over and some painful exposition lines. Lots of her dialogue is filled with really silly “futuristic” sounding words. For any actor these would be difficult to spout out, but when you have a whole set of “techno-dopple the positronic helio-graphic interlocking thing-a-majiggy” well you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Some of the other cast members play things broadly, but in many cases it works out fine. Many of these are virtual characters, so they don’t behave in a realistic way anyway. It kind of reminded me of eXistenZ in that way.

Even the fun 80s synth music adds that extra special addition of cheesiness to the whole affair. Where things break down is in the script explanations near the end of the film. A bunch of stuff happens, and I’m still not sure how everything resolves itself. But by this point Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is chugging along with lots of odd visuals, hilarious dialogue and Raul Julia spinning in front of a computer animated background that could be cribbed from an Atari game. And while you’d have a good time riffing along with this one yourself, let Mike and bots lend a hand with one of the funniest episodes of the eighth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Episode Review:  

Julia seems to be having a good time playing this
duel role.

When it came time to wrap up the first season of episodes for the Sci-fi Channel, the crew decided to knock out a trilogy of 1980s science fiction films. I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating, that may be my favorite genre for the crew to tackle. To follow the uproarious Space Mutiny and the silly chronologically impaired Time Chasers we get this virtual reality gem Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

This is another case where it seems the film was created just for the MST3K treatment. It is filled with images, dialogue, performances and plot elements that just lend themselves to riffing. And the boys unleash with a steady stream of commentary that make the whole thing hilarious.

One of the biggest gifts comes with our protagonists name, Fingle. The boys go to town working Fingle’s name into all kinds of amusing word play. During a scene that is filmed in soft light, soft filter and has Fingle and Apollonia close together Crow says “This is filmed in soap opera vision”, to which Mike adds, “It’s Days of our Fingle”. During a scene where Apollonia spouts out a bunch of techno jargon involving the “doppling process”. Mike adds, “I don’t want to bungle or bobble the Fingle dopple.” But my favorite take on his name is when Tom speaks for Apollonia with the modified slogan, “I’ve got a fever for a flavor of a Fingle.”

"I'll see you on the dark side of Raul!"

They crew also used Raul Julia to their best advantage. Not only do they riff on his mixed performance here, but they make sure to reference his roles in The Adams Family as well a hilarious Kiss of the Spider Woman reference. One of my favorite bits is during the opening credits, where Julia’s face is superimposed over a spinning cube. Crow declares it a “Raul-bics cube.” Tom says, “Hey I thought he was Puerto Rican, I didn’t know he was…” Mike shouts, “Oh no, don’t go there.” But Tom finishes with “Cuban!” and bursts out laughing.

But Overdrawn at the Memory Bank has plenty of other oddities that provide fodder. Since Fingle is so hung up on Casablanca we keep seeing parts of the film as well as a virtual bar and characters from the film. Crow finally declares, “You know, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie!” There is also an odd thing about people being threatened with being doppled into the body of an anteater. It comes up several times and the boys have a field day with it. Throwing in mock-repulsed lines about “filthy disgusting anteaters”.

The Fat Man and his huge huge face make for a lot
of the riffing.

And if you wanted to brush up on your fat jokes, this is the episode to watch. The character called “The Fat Man” provides the boys with ample opportunities to mock his weight, his out of breath wheezing and the fact that he looks a little bit like TV’s Frank! I think they get a bit too mean with these, but it’s par the course with an episode from this era.

There is one thing I’m not too fond of with this episode. The boys go on and on about how bad the movie is. But I think it is actually a pretty creative film, with a lot of interesting and fun concepts. Yeah it gets confusing, and I’m with them when they have no clue what is happening at the end with “I am interfaced!” But they get a little too angry at the film, and I think they may have been a bit too riled up at it.

The host segments are actually quite a bit of fun. The episode starts with Crow selling shirts for his catchphrase, “You know you want me, baby!”. Mike points out that Crow has never said that, and that selling shirts is kind of stupid. Crow offers Mike a catalogue filled with catchphrases that Mike can order shirts for. Mike is rather fond of “We’re all out of toner”. The bots aren’t impressed. The rich irony, you can still get shirts with Crow and his catchphrase on them (as well as your favorite MST3K riffs over at Satellite News). Pearl is inspired by the fact that Overdrawn at the Memory Bank  was made for public television. So she creates her own pledge drive, with Ortega from The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed up Zombies manning the phones. One of her featured shows is “The Nature of Bobo” where Brain Guy does a killer National Geographic voiceover as Bobo does what Bobo normally does.  Tom is so impressed he calls the telethon so he can receive his free tote bag. His declaration, “There’s so many things to tote!” is frequently quoted around my house.

"Your love gives me wings to fly." "I really do like pie."

At the first break, the robots were inspired by the baboon in the movie to order their own monkey from instantmonkeysonline.com. The monkey arrives instantly, and immediately hates Mike. At the next break Mike is still being tormented by the monkey, even excessive drooling won’t save him (don’t ask). Meanwhile the pledge drive is in full swing as Pearl stops for a touching musical number called, “When Loving Lovers Love”, a duet with Brain Guy. The lyrics are hilarious and it is one of my favorite songs during a host segment. Gotta give Mary Jo props for belting this sucker out. At the next break, Tom decides to use doppling technology to go down to the Nanites virtual world. It goes very badly for him. The next break features Bobo trying to talk the monkey down, but then he joins in tormenting Mike. When the movie ends, Mike takes tranquelizes Bobo and the monkey, and Pearl is counting her massive amount of cash from her pledge drive.

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank was a great way to end the inagural season of the show on the Sci Fi Channel. It’s got plenty of laughs, a very watchable movie and some of the best riffing the show has to offer.

I give it five flavo-fibes out of five.

If anything, this movie gives you a chance to throw
your arms to the side and yell, "I am interfaced!"

This episode is available on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume 4.

Commando (1985)

Introduction:

When I was younger, I was much more into sci-fi and fantasy flicks, so I missed a lot of the big action movies of the 80s. I decided to remedy that, you know, to keep my 80s movie street cred solid. One of the action flicks that receives a lot of discussion is this fine film featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger. To some, it’s the ultimate Arnold movie; to others it’s a laughable mess. Either way, it’s got some of the best action one liners I’ve heard in a long time.

Summary:

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), yes that’s his real name, just wants to spend time with his cute as a button daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano). But alas, a black ops commando’s work is never done. John is pulled in for one more job, to find out who is killing off the other retired commandos from his old team.

Turns out the wicked Arius (Dan Hedaya) has contracted the scenery chewing, chain mail wearing Bennett (Vernon Wells) and his team to capture Jenny and force John Matrix to do his dirty work. John Matrix won’t stand for this, because his name is John Matrix. So he proceeds to hunt down and kill each of the bad guys with glorious pun after glorious pun. Along the way he pulls poor Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) into the whole mess. Prepare yourself for endless gunfire, Arnold swinging across a mall by a streamer, and of course the phrase “I’ll be back”. Nothing can stop this Commando.

Good Points:

• Pure 80s action goodness
• Pretty much moves non-stop once Jenny gets captured
• Some pretty cool and exciting stunts in this movie

Bad Points:

• Unapologetically 80s in style and reckless abandon
• The puns will have some people groaning in agony
• The music has been known to drive some viewers mad 

Overall:

Um, so yeah, this is pretty much the perfect example of over the top action from the 1980s. I’m not at all surprised it came out the same year as Rambo II. What makes this movie so much fun is the hilariously bad puns Arnold says with each kill. I also love the opening credit montage featuring scenes of the happy family life of John and Jenny. The movie isn’t in on the joke, and yet that makes the whole thing much more entertaining. They don’t make action movies like this anymore; some might argue that’s a good thing. But I had a good time with this one.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 3

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 4

Music: 3

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 4

Total:  4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Explorers (1985)

Introduction:

Fresh of the success of Gremlins, director Joe Dante decided to switch gears a bit. He made a family adventure film about a group of kids who meets an alien and go on an incredible adventure. Most folks expected something along the lines of the immensely popular E.T. but Dante never does anything by the book. Was this flick going to end up more like a prototype for Super 8?

Summary:

Ben (Ethan Hawke) is a bit of a dreamer and outcast at school. He spends most of his free time watching old sci-fi films (like War of the Worlds and This Island Earth) on TV and thinking about being an astronaut. One night he has an amazing dream about a bizarre circuit board. He is able to draw most of the image and give it to his best friend Wolfgang (River Phoenix). With a name like that you know Wolfgang is a budding scientist and by combining his Commodore 64 with the drawing they two create a strange kind of spherical force field.

The two boys meet up with Darren (Jason Presson) a local tough kid, who helps them out with some bullies. The three pool resources, Ben’s dreams, Wolfgang’s scientific knowledge and Darren’s access to a local junkyard to create a vehicle capable of space travel. It’s good thing too, because Ben is becoming more and more convinced that the dreams are coming from an extraterrestrial intelligence and are an invitation to make first contact. But just what kind of alien will our young Explorers encounter?

Good Points:

• Solid performance by all three child leads.
• Has a real spirit of adventure and wonder
• Jerry Goldsmith’s musical score is a perfect fit for the film

Bad Points:

• Some may find the 80’s optimism and wonder to be cliché
• The alien encounter is going to ruin the movie for some people
• The final message of the movie isn’t going to work for everyone

Overall:

In a way this movie was ahead of its time. It starts off as a conventional kids adventure flick like E.T. or Goonies, but the final 30 minutes take into a movie that could have come from the 90s or 00s. Expectations are subverted and you’re provided with a surprise that will annoy some and make others snicker. But Dante has always had a bit of a dark sense of humor (Gremlins is one dark little movie if you think about it). For me, the first two thirds are excellent and the finale is rough but entertaining. Maybe with another pass or two of the script the anti-Spielberg-ian feel could have been a bit cleaner.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Music: 5

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 4

Total:  4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.    

Trancers (1985)

Introduction:

A long time ago I watched this movie and thought it was a weak wannabe of Terminator. But a review of the film over at Direct to Video Connoisseur inspired me to revisit it. Besides it has Helen Hunt in it, how bad could it be?

Summary:

Jack Deth (Tim Thomerson) is a police officer in the distant future. He is hunting down the dangerous Martin Whistler (Michael Stefani), a criminal with the power to turn weak willed people into drooling zombie-like slaves called Trancers! Whistler has just hurtled into the year 1984 to kill the ancestors of the great council – the only body powerful enough to stop him. But Deth isn’t going to take this lying down, he travels back in time to hunt the bastard. What follows has to be seen to be believed: Helen Hunt dressed as a Mall elf, a punk rocker singing Jingle Bells, a Trancer Santa Claus, assault by tanning booth, and a few film noir style quips courtesy of Mr. Deth. Let the holiday season begin!

Good Points:

• Thomerson and Hunt are excellent in the parts
• Moves along at a great pace
• Balances humor with action to make an entertaining movie

Bad Points:

• Low budget issues
• Very very 80s
• Owes a lot to Terminator and Blade Runner

Overall:

Want an example of what a fun low budget sci-fi movie should be, then stop watching the SyFy channel and give Trancers a shot. Yeah the story isn’t too original, but the cast, the dialogue and the spirit of fun makes this a great movie for a Friday night. Throw in the oh so’80s atmosphere and you’ve got a movie that suits me just fine. All the Christmas decorations and the scene with the trancer-afied mall Santa make it perfect for holiday viewing. If you have Netflix download – it’s currently available there. Check it out.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 3

Sound: 3

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Music: 3

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 5

Total:  4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Clue (1985)

Introduction:

Nostalgia can be a funny thing when it comes to comedies. What was hilarious twenty years ago ends up sounding dated or irrelevant now. So I’m always a bit afraid to check out some of my favorite laughs from '80s. Lets see how this one stacks up.

Summary:

It’s a dark and stormy night as Butler Wadsworth (Tim Curry) greets his guests at Hill House. It becomes apparent that Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn), Colonel Mustard (Martin Mull), Mr. Green (Michael McKean), Professor Plum (Christopher Lloyd), Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan) and Miss Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren) may not know each other, but have something in common. They are all being blackmailed by Mr. Boddy (Lee Ving). After a tense “discussion” Boddy ends up dead and everyone is suspect. As the night wears on, bodies start piling up and each guest looks more and more guilty. What Clue will reveal who killed Mr. Boddy, with what and where?

Good Points:

• Some great word play and puns
• Tim Curry nearly steals the movie… again
• The multiple endings are actually fun

Bad Points:

• Some of the word play and puns are groan inducing
• Theatrical style acting rubs some viewers the wrong way
• Some feel the mystery element is one big cheat

Overall:

Clue is a good time. It was made for laughs, with a bit of dark humor and lots of word play. It feels a lot like a stage play, and that might be because director Jonathan Lynn has a stage background. But with such a solid group of comedians having a good time, its hard not to get caught up in it. And any movie that gives you so many quotable lines is worth watching. “No meaning yes?”

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Music: 3

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 4

Total: 4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

Introduction:

I never really asked myself the question, what was Sherlock Holmes like as a youth. Well that might have been because I had only ever read one Sherlock Holmes story. But someone must have asked this question – because they made a whole movie about it!

Summary:

John Watson (Alan Cox) arrives at his new school in London a bit nervous but ready to make new friends. The first bloke he meets is Sherlock Holmes (Nicholas Rowe) a rather aloof chap who has keen powers of deduction. The two become good friends, and spent their spare time hanging out with Elizabeth (Sophie Ward) and her oddball uncle Professor Waxflatter (Nigel Stock). But Waxflatter is embroiled in a mystery as one by one former colleges die under mysterious circumstances. Holmes and Watson start to investigate, but soon find that the answer to the mystery is tangled in a web of revenge, cultists and a mind almost as keen as the one possessed by “Young Sherlock Holmes”.

Good Points:

• The script and the acting for Holmes and Watson are well executed
• The production for Victorian England is top notch
• The musical score by Bruce Broughton is a forgotten gem of the 80’s

Bad Points:

• Hard core Holmes fans are going to shudder in horror at the changes to the characters
• Has a serious 80’s Spielberg touch to it
• Not so much a mystery as it’s more of an adventure film

Overall:

While the plot maybe outrageous and the coincidences laughable, this movie has a wonderful spirit of fun to it. The whole relationship between Holmes and Watson and how it may have been forged in their youth is handled really well. It carries the movie past the more ridiculous moments. As far as pure entertainment goes, this movie is a solid pick.

Scores (out of 5)

Visual: 5

Sound: 4

Music: 5

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 5

Total: 4

In Depth Review

There’s an odd set of connections between “Young Sherlock Holmes” and “Harry Potter”. First off, both films feature a supporting antagonist named Dudley. Chris Columbus wrote the screenplay for the 1985 film and directed the first two Harry Potter films. Both films take place in and around a boarding school. Both films have a Victorian feel to them (especially obvious in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”). Both films feature insane cult leaders bent on revenge. Ok, maybe I’m stretching it a bit, but I always found it funny that whenever I hear the name Dudley the first thing I think of is the slimy jerk in “Young Sherlock Holmes”.

Let me get this out of the way. I grew up with this movie. My sister and I really enjoyed watching it as kids, and it was on regular rotation on our VCR back in the day. We liked the adventure, the bizarre hallucinations and the fact that there was a dog named Uncas in it. So it’s a bit tough for me to view the film completely objectively. So if this review sounds a bit too fond… well you know why.

The main issue I see raised against this film is Chris Columbus’ over the top script. It isn’t good enough for Holmes to solve murders, these have to be completely insane murders conducted by a Egyptian cult that practices their death religion in a giant wooden pyramid. The movie never takes the leap into fantasy. The strange imagery you do see is because the victims are hallucinating. But the film really stretches credibility when you see a huge bald killer chasing kids through a cemetery while wielding a sword. No one notices this or thinks it’s odd?

But check it out, Columbus wrote this screenplay right after he wrote “Gremlins” and “The Goonies”. Steven Spielberg was on the production credits for all three films, and I think its safe to say that he had some input into how the story was going to play out. It explains why this film could easily be called “Sherlock Holmes and the Temple of Doom” a name a few critics gave it. Or maybe you prefer “Sherlock Holmes and the Pyramid of Death” which is the films name in some international markets. That oh so 80’s Spielberg touch is all over the film, even if Barry Levinson was helming it.

Levinson does a good job with the film balancing the large set pieces and special effect heavy scenes with the intimate character scenes between Holmes, Watson and Elizabeth. The character interaction is essential for the film to work. Holmes and Watson must have that warmth and understanding of each other’s talents or else it will feel wrong. Rowe and Cox do a great job, each one nailing their characters as well as creating a valid friendship. Sure the Watson of this film is more Nigel Bruce than David Burke, but it still works well. On the other hand Ward is a little flat as Elizabeth. The part is underwritten, but Rowe’s reactions to her make the connection between them work.

The supporting cast is very good all around. Of special note is Freddie Jones as Chester Cragwitch. This poor man is saddled with a large chunk of exposition, but his great voice combined with his off beat performance makes it all work. Also key to the film is Anthony Higgins as Professor Rathe, Holmes fencing teacher and mentor. Rathe seems to really like Holmes even when events take a turn that pits them against each other. When things get serious, Higgins is able to turn the man into a much darker character, one consumed by hate and willing to do anything to achieve his ends. It’s a good villainous performance.

The large set pieces including the ones revolving around the ceremonies in the pyramid are staged well and filmed with skill. The sets and location shooting in general is top notch and really adds to the film. But Levinson makes sure the action sequences are clear and easy to follow. But one of my favorite sequences is when Holmes accepts Dudley’s challenge to find a lost statue. Levinson takes us all around the school editing together a montage of deduction that leads up to the resolution of the mystery. Combined with Bruce Broughton’s score, it’s a great scene.

Broughton isn’t known to most moviegoers and that’s a shame. He’s done some wonderful work, especially in the Western genre (his scores for “Silverado” and “Tombstone” are excellent). But this is one of the few times he delved into this type of adventure scoring and he does an amazing job. He takes some of the styling of John Williams and combines it with a very English tone and creates a superb musical adventure. There are two main themes that appear in the film, one that surrounds the mystery sequences and seems connected to Holmes. The other is linked more to the friendship sequences and seems connected to Watson. These two fuse together to create a wonderful musical cue that can be enjoyed during the end credits. I also have to mention the choral powerhouse of the Ceremonial chant that is heard twice in the film and is warped into the villain theme by the end of the film. Great stuff. I heartily recommend this score to fans of big adventure music in a John Williams style. This is an 80’s classic.

This was a visual effects movie in many respects and most of it’s notoriety today is based on the fact that the first completely computer generated character was created for this film. During one of the hallucination scenes, a stain glass window of a sword wielding knight leaps from the window to threaten a priest. Back in 1985 this effect was jaw dropping. On top of that all kinds of other effects were used, including stop motion creatures as well as traditional blue screen and miniatures. Using this vast array of effects keeps things from looking too over top and lets them blend into the film.

Here’s what it boils down to: the film is fun. It was made to entertain and it does just that. All the production elements work well together and while it wears its oh so 80’s heart on its sleeve, it never really was shooting for anything more than that. I recently revisited the film and had a blast watching it again. Yes nostalgia played a part in my enjoyment, but I also think that this is just a well-made adventure film. If you’ve never seen it, give it a shot. At the very least you’ll enjoy a great musical score and see some pioneering visual effects from the day. At the most you’ll have a great movie to watch on a wintery weekend.

The Black Cauldron (1985)

Introduction:

For the longest time all I know about Disney's "The Black Cauldron" was that it was the black sheep of the animated film family. It failed in the theaters and Disney hated it so much that they refused to release it ever again in theaters or on video. But at the end of the 1990's, Disney relented and released the film on VHS and DVD. Did this film deserve to be smothered and hidden away?

Summary:

Taran (Grant Bardsley) is your typical assistant pig keeper who yearns for adventure. He gets his chance when the diabolical Horned King (John Hurt) discovers that Hen Wen is a magical pig who can reveal the location of the Black Cauldron. Once the Horned King has the cauldron in his possession he can create and invicible army of undead to sweep the land. Taran is tasked to with protecting Hen Wen, but things go very wrong and he begins a quest to find her. Along the way he meets the magical princess Eilonwy (Susan Sheridan), the flusterd bard Fflewddur Fflam (Nigel Hawthorne) and the obnoxiously cute Gurgi (John Byner). Will Taran and his friends be able to stop the Horned King from finding and using "The Black Cauldron"?

Good Points:

• Disney attempted a new look with the animation
• The voice acting is well done and fitting to the story
• Avoided shoehorning musical numbers into the story

Bad Points:

• The script is very rough and needed another draft or two
• A few sequences are executed poorly, forgetting other characters are present
• Never really grabs the viewer

Overall:

This was Disney's animation team experimenting and attempting to shake the doldrums they had fallen into since Walt's death. It's a worthy effort, but never really takes off. Blame should not be placed on the darker tone of the film or it's fantasy setting - but on a script that is in desperate need of polish. Had the script been better, this film might be remembered with more fondness. As it is, it is more of a curiousity for animation enthusiasts.

Scores (out of 5)

Animation: 4

Sound: 4

Music: 4

Voice Acting: 4

Script: 2

Direction: 2

Entertainment: 3

Total: 3

Curious about a full review, send me an email and I'll make additional thoughts to this review.