parts: The Clonus Horror (1979) - MST3K Review

Summary:

Richard (Tim Donnelly) is living the good live in a utopian society. He spends his days participating in good-natured exercise, learning about the mythical land of America and hanging out with his friends. But for all the fun and games, Richard feels like life is missing something. When he meets the lovely Lena (Paulette Breen) she feels the same way. The two begin to notice this little society has some odd elements. The guards seem to talk to no one. People disappear without a trace. Even the wise Dr. Jameson (Dick Sargent) appears to be lying to them.

When Richard does some sneaking around he discovers that the facility they all live in is called Clonus, and that he is a clone of a man named Richard Knight. Richard doesn’t quite understand everything he finds, but it is enough to get him in trouble. Soon he is on the run from Clonus security. Richard escapes the facility and makes it to the big city, but he finds the world completely alien. Can an old reporter Jake Noble (Keenan Wynn) lead Richard to find his original? Or will Clonus and all it’s powerful backers make sure the secret remains buried? Peter Graves rounds out the cast in this paranoid sci-fi thriller.

Movie Review:

"You're swell." "I like how keen you are."

So lets get the obvious out of the way. If the plot to Parts: The Clonus Horror (which I’ll just call Clonus from now on) sounds familiar, that’s because the main story elements were essentially borrowed for the Michael Bay film The Island. It caused a bit of a legal issue that got settled out of court. The two the movies are really similar, with the biggest difference being the budget.

Most of the film is comprised of location shooting around Southern California. The facility for Clonus was filmed at two colleges with some interesting architecture. It looks not quite futuristic, but is certainly a vast contrast the scenes in downtown Los Angeles and in the suburban neighborhood we see in the second half of the film.

The clones all wear variants on the same clothing, essentially shorts and a polo shirt. The guards are dressed in tracksuits with baseball caps. Then you have the doctors in their traditional lab coats. It gives everything a kind of bland conformity that fits the utopian opening of Clonus and contrasts to the late 70s fashions we see in the “real” world later.

Oh Darren, does Sam know what you're up to with Dr.
Mario over here?

While the movie is a science fiction movie, it goes light on the special effects. This is much more of an X-files variety of sci-fi, conspiracies and paranoia. We don’t see the cloning in action, because these clones are grown over a long period of time. We do get to see the preservation process for the clones, as they replace the blood of one clone with green fluid and freeze the poor guy.

The sound effects are pretty standard for this type of film. The score is mostly electronic, with some interesting vocal effects for the more sinister moments. For the low budget it works pretty well.

Clonus does feature some big names in the cast and they do most of the heavy lifting in the film. Peter Graves has a small but crucial role as Senator Jeff Knight. He is very much aware of the Clonus project. When his brother Richard (David Hooks) confronts him with evidence in the form of the clone Richard, Jeff convinces his brother of the need for the facility and the clones. How else are the chosen few supposed to get perfect organs for transplanting in their old age. Graves does the smooth talking Senator role very well, and has some good interplay with Hooks. You believe the two are brothers.

They argue a lot, but the sex is great.

Keenan Wynn as the craggy reporter and Lurene Tuttle as his wife Anna inject some humor into the grim film. They playfully bicker the entire time they are on screen together. This banter also gives us some background on the characters and gives something new for our clone hero to watch and be confused by.

Dick Sargent plays the deceptive Dr. Jameson. He’s obviously in this for the pure science aspect and doesn’t consider the clones to be humans, but treats them as experiments. He does most of his interacting with Dr. Nelson (Zale Kessler), but has a few good scenes with clone Richard.

For the most part, Clonus follows clone Richard on his quest to learn about his isolated world and then to survive the pursuit into the outside world. It isn’t an easy part, because he has to balance a child like naïveté with curiosity and fear. Unlike many of the other clones, he isn’t drugged, or lobotomized, but his education is severely limited. So while he appears to be a bit dense at times it makes sense for the character. Donnelly does a good job with this tough role, although he does seem to go a bit overboard at times, it is hard to judge how a child-like mind in a full grown man’s body would react in these situations.

"Architecture by the Sydney Opera House."

Most of the clones face this challenge in the acting department. Some play this child like simplicity a little too broad coming across as stupid or slow. I don’t want to judge to harshly because it is difficult to conceive how someone would act if they were raised in such a limited environment.

As far as the direction and story construction, Clonus actually works really well. It has decent pacing, and sets up some solid thrills and tension. Because Richard has no clue about our world (or his world for that matter) he makes for a good protagonist. The odds are obviously against him, but we keep hoping that he can escape his horror before it is too late. But this movie was made in the 1970s and that pretty much guarantees that it will all end badly with the government and Clonus winning out. I also love how all the big backers we see are old white men. I’d be curious to see what the women who invested in Clonus are like.

They just started to watch  Manos: The Hand of Fate.

I get the feeling that this movie had been released before 1977 it would be better remembered. But Star Wars came along and changed everything. From that moment on, sci-fi meant space opera and space adventures. Movies dealing with sci-fi concepts in our real world were just not as appealing to audiences.

Yes, Clonus has budget limitations. Sometimes the acting isn’t that great. Sometimes the dialogue is hard to make out because of poor sound work. Sometimes the seams show just a little to clearly. But the movie works as well as you could hope. No it isn’t Logan’s Run, and some elements certainly seem inspired by THX-1138, but the final result is a solid sci-fi thriller that aims high, but ends up a little short. That doesn’t mean that Mike and bots didn’t have much to work with, because there are plenty of odd moments that make Clonus a great target for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment.

Episode Review:

"If I'm elected, Biography for everybody!"

I’ll admit that Parts: The Clonus Horror is a favorite around our house. Not only because it is a really funny riffing session, and a solid movie on top of it. No, we really love this episode because the two colleges that serve as the  Clonus facility are the two colleges my wife and I attended. The first time we saw this episode when it aired in 1998, we were stunned. It couldn’t be, but there they were: both college campuses, shown through a funky 70s filter. It was odd to see what changed and what remained exactly the same nearly twenty years later. I admit we spent most of the film attempting to figure out where they filmed the keys scenes. Because of that little bit of trivia, I freely admit a  bit of bias toward this episode.

Mike and bots have a lot of fun with Clonus, even if I think they end up coming down a little too hard on it. For me, this is similar to the way they ended up approaching TimeChasers, Overdrawn at the MemoryBank or even Soul Taker. All of these are good solid movies with low budgets. The stories make sense, are paced well and provide some entertainment. They are certainly superior to films like Werewolf, Hobgoblins and Horrors ofSpider Island. But the crew treated these films all about the same, which I never thought was fair.

"She really was on top of old smokey."

So you get some pretty harsh slams on Clonus. They go to town on how unattractive our lead character is. They claim the movie makes no sense (something I never understood, because I always thought it was very clear).  They continually say how bad the movie is, and well, I just don’t buy it. I suppose when you have a basis for comparison that includes something like The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed up Zombies, well something like Clonus is fine art.

So if you ignore the pretty harsh attacks on the film (a syndrome of the Sci-fi channel years), you get some really fun riffing. The clones make for some of the best jokes in the first half. The happy go lucky community, with the constant smiles and shirtless wrestling opens up lots of riffing opportunities. As Richard and his pal participate in a topless pushup competition (surrounded by clone onlookers) Tom declares it “The longtime companion Olympics.” Later we see two clones wrestling (again without shirts) and Mike advices, “Gentlemen you are doing this on your own, this is not sanctioned.”

Clone Richard is perpetually confused by everything.

The clones are told that at some point they will go to America, and live a life of pure joy. Of course the clones that do end up “going to America” are spirited away to be preserved and stored. But the doctors and clones constantly use the phrase, “Going to America” to which Tom will belt out in his best Niel Diamond “TODAY!” Crow is offended by the films message that “we kill and bag people in America”.

Richard’s nearly constant confusion provides a ton of riffing opportunities. When he finds a can of Old Milwaukee in the river he contemplates it for a long time. Mike references The Gods Must be Crazy when he says, “The little Bushman doesn’t know what to make the can.” When clone Richard goes to a “confessional” to ask about the can, he enters what looks like a phone booth and puts on headphones. Crow declares him “Charles Van Dorkin”, and if you saw the film Quiz Show that line will crack you up. Later Richard is snooping around the facility and finds a map with Milwaukee on it. This revelation is punctuated by Mike declaring, “This is the most interest anyone has ever paid to Milwaukee, EVER.”

Peter just got that feeling that someone is watching
him... on Biography!

Peter Graves opens up a whole host of other jokes. I figured they would go for some Mission: Impossible lines, or even callbacks to other episodes featuring Graves in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 catalogue (such as The Beginning of the End or It Conquered the World). But Clonus is best remember by MST3K fans for the running gags based on Graves hosting the television series Biography. This running joke is hit or miss. Sometimes I find the whole thing terribly funny, other times it feels like they just beat it into the ground. They pretty much riff the entire end credits as Peter Graves providing voice over for a Biography episode about various cast and crew involved in Clonus. If this starts to rub you the wrong way, it is a saving grace that Graves isn’t in the movie very long.

You know... for kids.

You’ve got some fun host segments in this episode. Things start off a bit fuzzy, when Mike shows off his new 70s mustache. The bots mock him mercilessly, so he shaves it off. Then they mock his bare lip. Meanwhile Pearl, Brain Guy and Professor Bobo encounter the horror of the Space Children. Not to be confused with the movie of the same name, these little brats remind me more of the super powerful kids from the old Star Trek  episode. They proceed to torment Pearl and her posse. At the first break a game of Candyland causes Brain Guy to cheat! Meanwhile Bobo gets hit in his area by a baseball. At the next beak Candyland has gone horribly wrong, so Pearl begs Mike and bots to recreate an education television program for the kids to watch. Crow and Tom are you puppet hosts and Mike shows off the letter and number of the day. It goes pretty well until the boys switch in a Spanish language version with loud music, horrible outfits and ridiculous camerawork. The space children burst into tears, and Bobo gets hit in his crotch again. When we return to the space children they are asking Pearl and Co about the birds and the bees. It doesn’t go well and Bobo takes one to the junk again (see a pattern here)? After the movie ends, Crow shows off his new nose and Tom shows off his new lullaby, guaranteed to lull children to sleep. It sounds like a polka on crack and that wakes up the space children. Pearl is less then pleased.

For me the riffing on Clonus is a bit stronger in the first half, when clone Richard is interacting with his fellow clones and wandering around the facility. But my bias at seeing my old university back in 1979 might have something to do with it. The Graves Biography riffing kicks into high gear in the second half, so that keeps it from being a top notch episode. Still this episode is one I have no problem recommending.

Richard finally arrives in America... TODAY!

I give it four confused clones out of five.

This episode is available on The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 12.

When Candyland goes horribly wrong.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Introduction:
When it comes to the James Bond series, everyone has their favorites, and their least favorites. Some folks will champion some of the lesser loved films. Other madmen will call Goldfinger a merely average film. But there are a few James Bond films that most folks can agree on. The Man with the Golden Gun is one of those. But do they consider it a winner or a stinky dog best left alone.

Summary:

British secret service agent James Bond (Roger Moore) discovers that he is on the hit list of the most dangerous assassin in the world. The killer is named Scaramanga (Christopher Lee). He charges 1 million dollars for each job and always does it with a golden bullet, shot from a golden gun. He’s never failed an assignment, and the gold bullet with 007 etched in it means Bond is next.

This is a bit of a problem since Bond is attempting to track down a solar cell that may solve the world’s energy problems. M (Bernard Lee) takes Bond off the case, and lets him go on leave. Bond takes the opportunity to track down Scaramanga. The journey takes him to Beirut, Hong Kong and Bangkok.  Along the way he teams up with Goodnight (Britt Ekland) a klutzy but cute civil servant, and Hong Kong agent Hip (Soon-Tek Oh). But he must also face Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize) Scaramanga’s height challenged henchman, and figure out what side Andrea (Maud Adams) will play for. It all comes down to a face off between James and The Man with the Golden Gun. Winner take all.

Good Points:

• Christopher Lee is a excellent villain
• The location shooting is impressive
• The final duel has some very tense moments

Bad Points:

• The tone never figures out what it wants to accomplish
• The script is horrible
• The pacing is lethargic

Overall:

What kills me about this movie is that you’ve got all the ingredients for one of the best James Bond adventures ever. Lee makes a perfect foil and dark mirror for James Bond. When he’s driving the story, the movie works at it’s best. But the humor is handled very poorly, the tone tries to juggle edgy and super silly from scene to scene. It doesn’t know what to do with Goodnight. The pacing meanders, never creating any urgency. This is certainly one of the weaker entries in the series, but not quite the worst.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 2

Music: 3

Direction: 2

Entertainment: 2

Total:  2

In Depth Review

Bond is keeping an eye out for the screenwriter.

While Live and Let Die wasn’t a triumph, it did achieve what it set out to do, put Roger Moore firmly in the role of James Bond. He seemed a natural fit and for the most part, when that movie was working, it was because of Moore’s easy charm and skill in the role. I can imagine that he was pretty hopeful about the follow up film; especially when he found out he would play opposite one of the best actors to play a villain in the 1970s, Christopher Lee. How could this not work?

It all comes down to the script and lack of concept behind The Man with the Golden Gun. Everyone knew that Roger Moore could handle comedy. Everyone felt that folks wanted to see a less serious Bond film, and have more fun at the movies. But the problem is, no one really figured out how to best utilize Moore, and focus the script. The result is a film with split personality. One moment it tries to get edgy and dark. The next we have James Bond in mortal peril because of a woman’s butt. I’m not kidding.

The movie provides some wonderful exotic locales.

But the film isn’t a complete waste of time, and the first reason is the wonderful location shooting. You’ve got some great sequences in Macao, Hong Kong and Bangkok. Everything from the inside of casinos, to lovely views of Kowloon Bay and surrounding city are a sight to behold. The chase scene in Bangkok provides plenty of visual eye candy. But the most amazing location is in Phuket in Thailand. The islands of Phuket create some of the most memorable visuals in the James Bond series. The way the rocks stretch up like pillars is amazing. It seems the perfect spot for the finale of The Man with the Golden Gun.

Less impressive are the sets used in the film. Ken Adam was not brought on for this film and the production design was also limited by the budget. The result was some really unimpressive sets that just don’t measure up to the larger scope of the James Bond films. But really, that type of set wasn’t needed in this film. Because the script inserted the whole solar cell MacGuffin, it probably felt like they needed to have an exploding lair sequence. All it did was end up making the film look cheap, something no other James Bond film ever suffered from, even Dr. No.

Nick Nack attempts some karaoke to Lulu's title song.

The sound work is up to scratch. Nothing stands out, but the gunshots, squealing tires and fisticuffs sounds all work well. For the musical score, composer John Barry was brought back. He brings his lyrical sense with him, and creates a James Bond score that was less funky than Live and Let Die, but more in line with the sound he created in You Only Live Twice. The tune for the song The Man with the Golden Gun is used quite a few times and handled well in the score. He adds a bit of Asian flair, but keeps it on the lighter side, arguably tongue in cheek. His action music is still pretty fun, and helps move those scenes along. It’s not a great Bond score, but it’s solid work by Barry.

As for the song itself, well it’s really a doozy. Lulu sings it with a sassy brassy style. But the lyrics are so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh. I mean, they are eye-rollingly bad. You’d think they came from a James Bond parody. At the same time there isn’t much they could do with that title. I find it to be a song that is so bad, I get a kick out of it each time it comes on.

Lee adds some much needed danger to the film.

This brings us to the acting in The Man with the Golden Gun. Well, part of the problem here is that the script is so bad, I can’t blame the actors for not being able to pull some of this off. Let’s start with the good, Christopher Lee makes a great James Bond villain. He’s cold, calculating, urbane and intelligent (for the most part). His scenes are always the best of the film, and his interaction with Moore makes for some of the best moments of the Moore era. Villechaize makes for a good henchman. His small size makes for a deceptive villain. He’s got a sadistic streak in him, and there is an added playfulness that makes it work. The script does end up failing the two characters. Scaramanga does some really stupid things near the end of the film, and they seem out of line for the character. Nick Nack is played for laughs a few too many times, and it cheapens the character in the end.

The two ladies fare little better. Adams is sultry as Andrea, but her part is under written. I’m not sure if the writers knew what to do with her, other than make her into a plot point. What we get isn’t bad, but I always wish they did more with her, either make her a co-villain, or work her into the story better. Ekland looks great in a bikini. She plays ditzy fairly well. But Goodnight is pretty much around for eye candy and laughs. It’s a thankless role really, and Ekland does what she can, but frankly her character annoys me. She ends up getting into numerous scrapes, and is only around for Bond to rescue or kiss.

This karate scene is a miscalculated mess.

This leaves us with Moore. Roger had it rough in this one. One minute he has to be a cold brutal agent, the next he’s in a silly karate battle that’s setting up one lame joke after the other. Then he’s got some horrible scenes with J. W. Pepper (Clifton James), and then gets his great scenes with Lee. James Bond is not clearly defined in this film. Even in Live and Let Die he seemed clearer in concept then in The Man with the Golden Gun. The result is Moore’s most uneven performance. He doesn’t quite nail the darker scenes when he interrogates Andrea. The humor doesn’t play to his strengths, and so scenes where he chastises Goodnight come off badly. Moore is capable of both side of Bond. His anger in For Your Eyes Only is played perfectly. He is able to keep the parody mode of Moonraker fun. But in this film, he is scuttled time and again by the script.

Guy Hamilton is once again at the helm here, and like his work on Live and Let Die and Diamonds are Forever, there are some serious pacing issues. The movie just meanders around, never getting any urgency or momentum. Tension is kept to a minimum, with only the Scaramanga scenes providing any kind of thrills. But I think most of that comes from Lee's sheer force of will. Hamilton does provide some good framing for the location shooting. But he doesn’t handle the action scenes very well. The chase scene is lifeless. The amazing stunt involving a 360 roll in mid air is the highlight. But a stupid slide whistle effect turns it into a joke. Other moments, like the whole karate school segment feel like a bad joke poorly executed.

Amazing stunt? Yes. Amazing movie? Not quite.

Once again Hamilton directs a script that is set pieces in search of a story. The Man with the Golden Gun is the most interesting of the three Hamilton films from the 1970s. It has some very good moments, but the typical problems of pacing and poorly executed humor injure this one. Hamilton was picked because of his work on Goldfinger and the resulting popularity of that film. But when looking at the four Bond films he directed, they are overwhelmingly some of the weakest of the bunch.  The flailing of the script and direction here seriously derail what could have been a classic Bond film. It would take The Spy Who Loved Me to really get the right tone for the Roger Moore era. Looking at the behind the scenes issues during The Man with the Golden Gun I’m willing to give it a little bit of a break. The two main producers of the series were in the middle of a falling out. But it doesn’t make it an average film. It’s better than the two movies that preceded it, but not by much.

Goodnight's butt is about to kill Bond.

Lisa and the Devil (1974)

Introduction:

Due to an unfortunate mishap, I viewed and watched a horrible hacked and re-edited version of this film. It was called House of Exorcism and it was bad. But there was enough intriguing elements to that mess of a film that I figured I should check out the original version. Rumor has it, that this even director Mario Bava was displeased with the hacked up version. So the original should be good… I hope. But the devil is involved, so it could be bad in a whole new and exciting way!

Summary:

Lisa (Elke Sommer) is enjoying some touristy fun in Toledo, Spain when she runs across a very strange man with a mannequin. She is separated from her tour group and is picked up by a strange couple driving a car right out of The Great Gatsby. The car is on its last legs, and stops in front of a creepy mansion. Inside is a handsome but unstable young man Max (Alessio Orano) and his mother the Countess (Alida Valli).

Soon evil doings are afoot. People get killed, creepy dolls are manipulated, rotting corpses are revealed and most of the gals end up topless. Behind it all is a mysterious butler Leandro (Telly Savalas). Is he the sinister mastermind behind this dreamlike world, or has Lisa lost her mind? The tale of Lisa and Devil offers more questions than answers.

Good Points:

• Combines gothic horror and surreal really well
• Some good creepy moments
• Better than House of Exorcism

Bad Points:

• Parts of this movie don’t make a lick of sense
• Some pretty bad dubbing
• Very slow paced

Overall:

Bava’s vision was to make a surreal gothic horror flick, and he mostly succeeds. The major issue is the extremely show pacing. Some of these build a creepy atmosphere, but other sequences seem like padding. Still there is some creepy stuffing going on here, even if it all doesn’t make much sense in the end. Not bad for an evening of gothic horror. Just don’t think about it too much while you’re watching.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 3

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 2

Music: 3

Direction: 2

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.    

House of Exorcism (1974)

Introduction:

Back in 1974 Italian horror director Mario Bava made a gothic horror called Lisa and the Devil, which sounds like an 1980s metal band. But I digress. Sadly this project was never able to find a distributor. In a bid to get some kind of payoff for the flick, producer Alfredo Leone re-edited and provided some added footage to play off the popularity of The Exorcist. This is the horrific result!

Summary:

Lisa (Elke Sommer) is enjoying some touristy fun in Toledo, Spain when she runs across a very strange man with a mannequin. As you try to wrap your head around that whole sequence, Lisa collapses, starts spouting profanities and writhing around. A nearby priest, Father Michael (Robert Alda) rushes with the hospital with her and quickly determines that Lisa is possessed by Satan! I think all the cursing, green spewing and crusty makeup gave it away.

Satan speaks through Lisa and describes why evil is on this earth, and it has to do with an old mansion and the horrible family living there in the 1920s (I think). There is a mysterious butler Leandro (Telly Savalas), a few long rotting corpses, some scandalous affairs and lots of gothic atmosphere. Lisa is somehow involved in all this (and yet is a different girl, maybe, I think). As the story unfolds Father Michael decides that to cure Lisa he must travel to the House of Exorcism and do battle with old scratch himself!

Good Points:

• Bava’s atmospheric visuals create some great Gothic moments
• Savalas seems to be having a good time
• A few moments of amusing gallows humor 

Bad Points:

• This reedited version makes little sense
• The added footage is pointless and padded
• The dubbing is pretty awful

Overall:

Let me just say that if you want to see this film, find the original version Lisa and the Devil and avoid this mess. The added footage is horribly unoriginal and slows the already measured pacing down to a crawl. Sure it’s fun to see Elke Sommer swear like a sailor, but those scenes get old too fast. More intriguing is the original material with the evil family and gothic blood fest. But it’s so hacked up that most of the fun is drained away. This is up there with Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women for a plain mess of a re-edit.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 3

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 2

Music: 3

Direction: 2

Entertainment: 2

Total:  2

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

It Lives By Night (1974) – MST3K Review

Summary:

Dr. John Beck (Stewart Moss) would rather go on a tour of caves then spend some serious bedroom time with his newlywed wife Cathy (Marianne McAndrew). Perhaps it’s karma that causes them to fall into a chasm and John to get bit by a bat. At first it all seems fine, but after some bizarre convulsions and nightmares, John takes himself to see Dr. Kipling (Paul Carr). Kipling thinks that some pre-emptive rabies shots are needed. But when a nurse is murdered at the hospital John is staying in, we begin to suspect something else. So does Sergeant Ward (Michael Pataki), especially when he finds evidence of John at this and other crimes. With a death toll mounting Cathy wants to protect her husband, even if he is a man-bat.

Movie Review:

It’s a 70’s monster movie, so that mean’s it’s going to have that vaguely depressing dreary feel to it. While it moves faster than The Touch of Satan it isn’t far from the squishy antics of The Incredible Melting Man. We also get a doctor as the main character in this film, but instead of trying to help the mutating creature – he is the mutating creature. Still, there isn’t much difference between Dr. John Beck and Dr. Ted Nelson. They even seem to have the same wardrobe.

But let’s leave the melting man behind and focus on our winged mammals here.

This movie (also known as The Bat People) has a serious made for TV vibe to it, from the way shots are composed, to the style of acting. The whole thing feels like what you’d see late Saturday night, after you tucked the kids away. You might be hoping for some spooky fun, a few jump scares, and of course a mutating monster terrorizing a small town. Well you don’t quite get that. For a while it almost seems like Dr. Beck is a bit unstable to begin with, and his encounter with the bats has left him rabid and deranged. It almost could be interesting, but the movie tips its furry wing too early with Beck’s hand transforming into a furry long fingered freak limb. So we know he’s a monster, even if the movie proceeds to never show Mr. Man-bat until the end. Most of the time we get to see close ups of John’s eye, or reaction shots of his victims. Once you do see Beck fully transformed, running around in his oh so 70’s turtleneck and furry face, you understand why they kept him hidden.

The actors aren’t too bad, just kinda bland actually. Moss plays Dr. Beck as a kind of weasely guy, whose lack of interest with his randy wife and fascination with caves makes you want to slap him. When our hero is infected, Moss sweats a lot, flails and looks to be in a state of constant annoyance. I think he was supposed to be afraid, but it never really looks that way. As for his convulsions in bed – well you have to see them to really appreciate the full impact. McAndrew makes Cathy caring but ultimately a little too devoted. It’s pretty obvious that John is mutating and killing and Cathy just goes along with it. McAndrew never really allows us to see why she accepts serial murder. She just does, after sleeping with John and being infected too. Carr as groovy Dr. Kipling has the 70’s porn actor mustache and the demeanor to go with it. If I walked into any scene with him and a nurse or Cathy, I’d think we were watching a very different kind of movie. On the other hand you’ve got Pataki as the crusty and folksy Sergeant. He plays it well enough, but he’s so craggy and abrasive, you don’t end up rooting for him to catch John.

That’s really the whole trouble with this It Lives by Night (and Incredible Melting Man and Dr. Z for that matter), who are we rooting for? John’s a spastic jerk. Cathy’s a wet blanket who accepts her murdering husband. Dr. Kipling is sleazy. And the Sergeant seems more interested in tormenting John, and not really solving the crime. Without a likable or relatable character in the bunch, it’s hard to be pulled into the story and thus – be afraid. Modern horror movie’s take the same tactic, but usually provide unlikable characters because they are all going to get killed off.

The audience gets its sadistic thrill from watching jerks die. But in this film (and many of the 70’s monster films) that isn’t the case. There is just a dreary overtone that seems to say “Hey everyone in the world is an abrasive jerk. We’re showing you real life here man… well real life if Man-bats existed”.

There are other problems here. When we first meet John he is already in tune with the bats. He seems to hear them calling to him and is fascinated by caves. After we see that, he and Cathy fall into the little pit and he gets bitten by the bat. So are we assuming that John was already a little nutty? Like I said earlier, this actually could be turned into an interesting psychological script: John is obsessed with bats, and the bite makes him think he’s a Man-bat, when in fact he’s just nutty. But that angle is never taken. In fact his fascination with bats before the incident is never addressed. Am I over-thinking this? Sure. But I only do so because after Cathy is infected, she hears the same sound that John does at the beginning. She becomes obsessed with caves and wanders into one, then the credits roll. We assume she will become a Woman-bat. So that begs the question – was John already infected when It Lives by Night starts – or is he just eccentric?

I’ll end with a discussion of the dreams. Once he’s tainted, John has dreams of bats. Most of these poor little guys are being held by the wings and are looking for escape. I think the director hopes they look scary, but they look annoyed or afraid most of the time. There are countless shots of flying bat puppets, and stock footage of bats on cave ceilings. Mixed with super 70’s spooky music and you’ve got one hell of a hallucinogenic fugue going on. These scenes pad the film out, but they are so random and silly that you have to laugh. Coupled with the furry make-up for man bat and the finale involving dive bombing bats, and you’ve got a movie perfect for Mike and the bots.

Episode Review:

After the experiment that was Hamlet, the crew gets back to a classic genre – the monster movie. But instead of a 50’s one, like we got so frequently in Season Eight, we get a 70’s one. Season 10 has quite a few 70’s monster movies in it, with this movie, Track of the Moon Beast, The Blood Waters of Dr. Z and Squirm. I’m not complaining, it’s just an observation. It was probably a calculated move, especially since Hamlet was so black and white, they probably wanted something with at least some color in it -even if that prevailing color was brown.

Luckily It Lives by Night is pretty lively for a 70’s flick. It moves along fairly well, even with the padding of the dream sequences. It’s got characters that behave so strangely that Mike and bots have plenty to work with, even if we don’t get to see the monster till the very end. John is such an odd knucklehead that he’s perfect for riffing. He delay of sweet honeymoon action for a guided tour of a cave starts off the jokes at his expense. Really, what young newlywed male is going to act this way? During the credits we get a song (supposedly sung by Cathy) that is a slow folk tune. This gives our riffers the chance to add new lyrics and comment on the style. When we get to the cave tour and our heroes plummet into the chasm, well all bets are off. These people are too dumb to be nice too.

The riffing is pretty steady and most of it is amusing. Comments range from simple exclamations of “Squeak!” whenever John looks annoyed/afraid, to references to 70’s television shows that look like they used the same sets. The “Squeak” running joke had me cracking up, because the timing was golden and the expression on John’s face was just made for it. The dream sequences provide lots of laughs as Mike and bots provide some silly comment from all the bats being shown. They even use their rough and tumble animal voice (if you’ve seen The Giant Gila Monster episode, you know what I’m talking about) for most of them, and it works perfectly. I also enjoyed the climax when the Sergeant and Cathy are racing to a cave to find John. Suddenly a swarm of bats bombards the police car. At least it’s supposed to be a swarm of bats – it looks more like tomatoes. The Sergeant starts panicking. Infected Cathy looks vaguely evil. The result is riffing gold.

Still, you get a few quiet spots, or sequences that are too dreary to work with. As usually happens they show up in the middle section of the film. Also, there are quite a few 70’s pop culture references going on, and quite a few went over my head. So I think your mileage may vary with It Lives by Night.

The show starts with Mike and the bots painting the Satellite. Mike tests the theory that paint color affects mood. Pearl declares that she is not spraying poisons on the satellite. Of course she is and even Observers’ legal disclaimers can’t prove otherwise. At the first break Crow is determined to prove that he is more like Mary Tyler Moore than Cathy in our film. This sketch is worth seeing, especially when Mike does his killer Ted Baxter imitation. At the next break, Mike is rabid and the bots must administer a series of painful shots. I think they enjoy it too much. At the next break, everyone is inspired by groovy Dr. Kipling and grows a 70’s porn star mustache. Pearl is the test subject this time! After the movie ends, Tom has joined the Buddy Ebsen Hat Distressing Corporation. Turns out he might have been scammed. The show ends with Pearl giving a slide show about all her husbands - who died and disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

When I’ve watched It Lives by Night with my wife we both have different reactions. I enjoy it quite a bit, and she finds it funny but not distinctive enough to remember it. Her tolerance for the dreary 70’s movies is lower than mine, and I think you need to take that into consideration. So I’ll average the grade to reflect this. 

I give this episode three annoyed bats out of five.

This episode is available on DAP.