Movie Musing: Genre Wars – Revenge of the Myth

Wizard with lightning attack. This is "Lord of the
Star Hobbits" right?

It has come up before and it is sure to come up again. Which genre do I pick when I categorize my blogs about Star Wars. They are science fiction, right? You see space ships, robots, laser guns and technology we don’t have yet. But then you’ve got The Force, which is clearly some kind of magical power. Also people are fighting with swords and most of the conflict is on a grand high fantasy level. So are they fantasy films? No, because you have WAR in the title. Much of the conflict in the series revolves around armies clashing for different ideals. These are war films. But then you have the Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks and BB-8. Those are all such juvenile characters appealing to a very young crowd. These are kid flicks.

George, George, George, you didn’t make it easy for us.

"Obi Watanabe? Are you nuts?"

But that was by design. Lucas was making something that crossed multiple genres. It had elements of various familiar movies and stories. By mixing them together you get something that is new and yet familiar at the same time. Star Wars has been around so long, it is hard to remember when it was fresh. In 1977 people hadn’t seen anything really like it, and yet it reminded them of the old Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon serials. There were elements of the John Carter novels in there. Obi-Wan was very much like a samurai from a Kurosawa film (and Lucas reportedly wanted famed Japanese actor Toshiro Mifune for the role). Darth Vader was a black knight of Arthurian legend and Princess Leia the damsel in distress (with the 70s twist of her being a lot tougher than she appeared). And then you have the music with John Williams creating a Golden Age flashback with his full orchestral bombast. During this time it was rare to hear scores that weren’t jazzy or rock influenced, fully electronic or comprised of mostly songs.

As the series expanded over the decades, each film added to different genre elements. Empire Strikes Back expanded the war storyline, as well as building on the powers of the Jedi and giving us more sci-fi goodies to watch. Return of the Jedi brought out even more silly aliens for the kids, a climactic resolution to the war and hero storylines and even more robots and strange new worlds. You get the idea.

Hiring a gunslinger at the local bar? Where's Luke's
white ten gallon hat?

The Star Wars franchise embraced its identity as a cross genre work that doesn’t’ fit snugly into any one role, but manages to do all of them with a solid degree of ability. Its success with the public and the impact on pop culture inspired others to give the same approach a try. Why do a straight up Western when you can do a Space Western like Outland or Firefly. How about set up a noir detective story in a grimy future like Blade Runner. Or maybe a soap opera inserted into a uncanny horror film. Welcome to Twin Peaks. And don’t get me started on anime. It seems like they’ve been doing this for as long as Lucas (and maybe even before). You want romance, and knights and giant robots all mixed into one story, Vision of Escaflowne may be what you’re looking for.

These days it seems like standard genre films just don’t cut the mustard any more. In most cases they’ve been done so many times there aren’t any new stories to tell. Sure you can shake up how you tell them, and with a director with a strong vision can make something fresh and exciting like Tarantino did with Django Unchained. But most films opt for combining a couple of genres together to add another unfamiliar element to the whole thing. I think we can thank (or curse if it annoys you) Star Wars for making that more acceptable.

Where will her
journey take her?

To me, Star Wars is a fantasy saga clothed in science fiction trappings. The core of the stories (especially the first six) is the rise and fall of a hero. It is classic mythic storytelling. Anakin represents the tragic part of the cycle in the first three films. Luke Skywalker represents the heroic part of the cycle in the second set of three. We’ll see if Rey matches one of these two cycles or if she forges her own path.

The characters and their evolution is what Star Wars is all about. It tells stories that are based on very old tales and links them together to create a new set of mythology. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but to me it is an important thing.

In my mind, science fiction is about humanity in a general sense. It always asks questions at its core, and these are questions about all of us. How will we survive on other worlds: The Martian. Is technology our gateway or hindrance to the next stage of evolution: 2001: A Space Odyssey or Ghostin the Shell or The Matrix. What are the perils of controlling evolution and life: Jurassic Park or Star Trek II and III.

Star Wars comes close to asking some of these questions. In the original trilogy you could argue that there is an anti-technology message. The Empire has all this impressive technology at their disposal, but they never win completely. They are constantly thwarted by rebels who have less resources, and outdated technology. Luke destroys the first Death Star without any technological aid, just The Force as his guide. Yoda is a Jedi Master who lives in the middle of nowhere with not a single sign of any technology, and yet he is one of the most powerful characters in the saga. The Ewoks literally use sticks and stones to bring down the Empires best legion of troopers.

But the films never really ask the question, are humans better off without technology. Because all the characters are surrounded by technology at all times, and would be at a loss without it. Even though R2-D2 is unable to help Luke destroy the Death Star, they would have been dead earlier in the film if R2-D2 didn’t save them in the trash compactor.

"No seriously kid, no Jedi says Whoopee!"

So is the message a confused mess? I don’t think so. I think Lucas is not telling us that technology is evil or saying that humans are better off without technology. It is not a question of technology at all, but a question of instinct. Ben Kenobi (and later Qui Gon Jinn in The Phantom Menace) ask their pupils to focus zen-like on now. “Stretch out with your feelings.” “Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.” “Your eyes can deceive you, don’t trust them.” The message here is that technology is a fine too, but it is only a tool. The human instrument is just as critical. This message is about the person, not the scope of humanity.

The other time Star Wars comes close to commenting on technology is with the clones. But again, it becomes a question of use. How you use the clones is more important than any moral or ethical questions on their creation. I think science fiction stories dealing with clones almost always struggle with that moral dilemma. But Star Wars doesn’t even question it. It just happens. In many ways they are treated like droids are in the Star Wars saga. It is an interesting approach (and one of the things I really liked aboutthe prequels). But they are in service to the story, not an element meant for us to ask questions about.

Good vs. Evil in visual metaphor.

All this means that Star Wars sits firmly in the realm of fantasy for me. I find it easier to view it through that lens, especially from a thematic and narrative point of view. Star Trek is much more of a science fiction series, even though it often focuses on the characters stories and lives, and will dive into war and fantasy elements. In the end Star Trek offers us questions about humanity’s journey. Star Wars offers us questions about our personal and spiritual journey.

No, you want a series that is a true amalgam of science fiction and fantasy in almost equal parts – The Matrix has you covered there.

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And Then This Happened... Hercules

Being a demigod does have some drawbacks. You usually get selected to go on dangerous quests. You have gods and goddesses doing their best to stop you. Usually there is some kind of tragedy looming in your life. But at least you get fame and fortune.

Well if you are a demigod in a Cannon film then maybe you have a few other drawbacks. You get poor dialogue, goofy costumes and robots. You know about the robots, right?

Well even if you didn't know about the robots, Hercules does. Here is a classic moment from his outrageous 80s adventure.

And then this happened...

Top Ten Star Wars Characters - Part 2

Time to jump into some more of my favorite Star Wars characters. I covered a runner up and numbers ten through six back on this post. Now it time for another runner up and my top five. So without further ado, lets get started.

Runner Up. Kyle Katarn – The Jedi Knight Video Game Series

Man, I loved Dark Forces, the first First Person Shooter in the Star Wars universe. You played as Kyle Katarn the spy who stole the Death Star plans, and sent them to operation Skyhook (which appeared in the Star Wars radio drama – yeah I’m that big of a nerd that I know the radio drama). Katarn later faced down the dangerous Dark Troopers, guys with killer armor, killer weapons and jet packs. When Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II came out and Katarn learned Jedi abilities. Now you’re running around with a light saber and actually choosing if you are going to go dark side or light side with your force powers. Katarn was a memorable character and had some great adventures I played both those games quite a bit, and only later found out that Katarn continued to appear in the Jedi Knight games and of course appeared in comics and novels. The guy even had an official action figure made in his likeness. Not bad for a character who never appeared in any of the movies and is now considered outside the cannon.

5. Princess Leia - The original trilogy and The Force Awakens

It is hard to imagine a time when the princess to be rescued from the dark castle was not spunky, fearless and ready to kick butt. In most fantasy and space opera these days, it is a given that the Princess is not going to be a demure flower. When the demure flower does appear, most of us are disappointed. But Princess Leia changed all that. Before she even speaks a line of dialogue, she kills a Stormtrooper with her blaster. When she does speak, she sasses Darth Vader! Those early scenes in A New Hope establish Leia as a new type of princess, and a new type of heroine. Lots of folks give Ripley from Alien credit for being the first strong female protagonist, but I’d argue Princess Leia beat her to it by a couple years.

The Empire Strikes Back evolved her character further. She stays to the last minute on Hoth ensuring her soldiers are able to get away and coordinating the escape. Her banter with Han Solo is excellent, and their budding romance is classic stuff. The finale of Empire packs its emotional punch because of Leia’s torment at seeing Han frozen and taken away to an unknown fate. Return of the Jedi doesn’t utilize Leia as much as the previous two films (a messy screenplay is probably the main culprit), but she does get some further character development with her interplay with Luke on Endor. And yes, the metal bikini, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, right? What is interesting is that Leia character development is actually all based around her romance with Han and Luke. She is a tough resourceful leader in the original trilogy and that never changes. Even when we come to The Force Awakens she is still the woman we remember, but the added twist of dealing with her son and estranged husband gives Leia added depth. It creates added emotional resonance for the climax of the film. All told Princess Leia or General Leia Organa is an unforgettable character and key piece of the mythology of Star Wars.

4. Luke Skywalker - The original trilogy and the new trilogy

I’ll admit that for a long time I never really appreciated Luke Skywalker. I’m not sure if it was his whining about power converts in A New Hope or the fact that he ignores Yoda in Empire Strikes Back or that he has to have his daddy save him in Return of the Jedi that rubbed me the wrong way. I was just a Han Solo fan through and through. Then I realized it was because I admired Solo’s devil may care attitude but my personality is much closer to Luke’s.

Of course that is the intent, Luke Skywalker is a perfect example of the traditional mythic hero. His story arc in A New Hope follows all the key points, the call to adventure, resisting the call, the initiation of the adventure, the belly of the beast, the return and the triumph. Beyond that Luke grows through all three films of the original trilogy. The boy we meet in A New Hope is the not the same man we end Return of the Jedi with. While Han may be the more interesting character, Luke as admirable because he always tries to do the right thing. Even his greatest failing in Empire Strikes Back is driven by his desire to help his friends. And yeah he's a little cocky about defeating Vader, but we can't rise if we don't get smacked down once in a while. Return of the Jedi gives us Luke rising up to be a Jedi unlike any other before him. It’s a compelling journey and Luke’s adventure drives the majority of the original trilogy. I’m very curious to see where the new trilogy takes Luke, his enigmatic presence in the finale of The Force Awakens is intriguing.

3. Obi Wan Kenobi - The original trilogy and the prequel trilogy

One character who received some very interesting development over the prequel and original trilogy was Obi Wan Kenobi. In The Phantom Menace we meet a young Jedi in training. He admires his maverick mentor, but also falls in line with the thinking of the Jedi Council. This continues into Attack of the Clones where Obi Wan believes much like the council that they were on top of the Sith, not falling directly into the Palpatine’s plot. We also see the more aggressive and confident Jedi Master we always suspected. Revenge of the Sith has Obi Wan dealing with the fall of the Jedi order, the betrayal of his apprentice and the realization that they all played directly into the Sith’s hands. This arc leads us directly into A New Hope.

I’ve mentioned before how well realized Obi Wan’s arc is in the prequels, and how much Ewan McGreggor’s performance resonates. Alec Guiness creates an instant character in A New Hope, a wise mentor that leads Luke toward his destiny. But this also falls in line with the Obi Wan of the past, learning from his mistakes in some ways and yet still performing the same actions of trying to control a Skywalker instead of guiding him. I put Kenobi so high on the list because of the strong performance by both actors playing the role.

2. Han Solo - The original trilogy and The Force Awakens

There is a whole generation of Star Wars fans that just thought Han Solo was the coolest guy in the galaxy. I know Joss Whedon and J.J. Abrams fall into that group, and so do I. Harrison Ford just nailed the cocky attitude, banter with a walking carpet and the ability to hit on princesses look like too much fun. We totally understood Han’s mercenary streak in A New Hope, but we also cheered when he came back and saved Luke’s bacon. He was like the bad ass big brother to our protagonist and we loved him for it.

The Empire Strikes Back developed his relationship with Princess Leia as well as put him in the crosshairs for Darth Vader and Jabba the Hutt. His warm friendship with Lando builds up to the betrayal and the crushing defeat. Our favorite pilot has his wings clipped permanently . Or at least it seemed that way to me when I was a little kid. But Return of the Jedi brought Solo back for more. As a kid I was just pleased to have him back in the adventure and playing a critical role in the destruction of Death Star II. But these days, I can see Ford just going through the motions in that film. At least Han gets the girl, kicks some Imperial butt and his ship saves the day. The Force Awakens gives Solo added depth, and Ford bring the charisma with a vengeance. It was great to see Han Solo we know and love back in action, cracking wise and saving the galaxy. But his fate in the climax of the film also felt fitting and worthy of pushing the story forward for our new band of heroes. His legacy will have an important part to play in the new trilogy and that is great to see.

1. Darth Vader - The original trilogy and the prequel trilogy

To misquote Chasing Amy how can you not like the biggest, baddest, blackest dude in the galaxy? From his first appearance, a menacing shadow emerging from the smoke of destruction, to his funeral pyre in Return of the Jedi, Darth Vader became one of the most iconic characters in pop culture. His visual presence, his distinctive breathing, his red lightsaber and willingness to kill anyone who displeased him makes him one of the most feared and sinister characters in the Star Wars universe. The original trilogy places him as our main antagonist against Obi Wan Kenobi and then Luke Skywalker. And for most of the films he seems unbeatable. But in a genius twist of storytelling, Darth Vader is not defated by combat or Force abilities. His love for his son is what turns him from the dark side to the light, and it is Anakin Skywalker who brings balance to the force by destroying the Emperor, just as the prophesy declared.

In the prequels we follow Anakin Skywalker on his journey to become Darth Vader. As I mentioned in my examination of the 10 things the prequels did right, the story structure for this journey is solid, and actually well developed. Anakin turning to the dark side because of love mirrors his return to the light for the same reason. Yes poor casting and direction cause the prequels to fail in delivering the punch they could. But Revenge of the Sith gives us a glimmer of what could have been.  Even with his demise in Return of the Jedi, his shadow continues to loom large (and not just in the merchandizing. So much Darth Vader merchandise and imagry exploding everywhere for The Force Awakens even though the character never makes an appearance).  In The Force Awakens his legacy (or a warped version of it) compels Kylo Ren. I’m very curious to see what it is about Vader that drives Ren further into the Dark Side.

Well there you have it, my ten favorite characters from the Star Wars universe. It was fun to really ponder these folks and write a bit about them. Like many mythologies, Star Wars has a rich tapestry to look into, even sticking to just the films. This new trilogy of movies has me intrigued and enjoying the Star Wars universe more than I have in many years. I can’t wait to see what new characters may be added to this list in the coming years.

Who are your favorite Star Wars characters? Did I leave anyone off the list?

A list without Ackbar? It's a trap!

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Top Ten Star Wars Characters - Part 1

The Star Wars universe is one rich with stories and characters that have become entrenched in our culture. The mythic nature of the stories gives these characters a tremendous amount of resonance, and at the same time the way they evolved over the years has given them a life of their own. I have lots of favorites, but I tried to whittle this down to a list of ten and a couple of bonus favorites. I stuck mainly to the films but I have a few picks from novels, video games and few odd areas.

Runner Up: Djas Puhr – Star Wars Collectable Card Game

Lets start with one of the strange ones (that is why he is a runner up instead of a full-fledged top ten winner). Djas Puhr appears for about five seconds in the cantina scene in A New Hope but like nearly anything in the original trilogy has a full fledged history and adventures in the graphic novels and short stories out there. I first ran into him while playing the collectable card game (Or CCG for short). This guy was a bounty hunter with some deadly skills. He did some serious damage on his own, and could wield a lightsaber in a pinch. Djas was also a bounty hunter, and the CCG had some really cool cards that revolved around bounty hunting. Not a lot of cards that could hurt him outright (as opposed to Darth Vader or Boba Fett). I played dark side a lot, and Djas was almost always in my deck. It got so that my opponents would see him come out and sigh, because they knew he would do some damage before they were able to take him out. And he just looks like a bad ass as well.

10. Grand Admiral Thrawn – The Thrawn Trilogy

Perhaps my favorite non-film character has to be Grand Admiral Thrawn, the main antagonist in what is called the Thrawn Trilogy of novels by Timothy Zahn (Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command). Cold, cunning and ruthless he presents a major obstacle for the New Republic. He is a master of strategy and using his opponents psychology, philosophy and instincts against them. He makes extensive plans with distant goals and manages to orchestrate serious blows against our heroes. Even when things don’t quite go his way, he doesn’t let it phase him, but shifts his schemes and often has contingences in place. He is as feared as Darth Vader, but is more respected, because he doesn’t let his anger get the better of him. His main failing is his arrogance. He is so confident in his intellect and understanding of his enemy, he underestimates them and it leads to his death. While I understand the poetic justice of his demise, I always found it a bit anticlimactic. But man, was he a force to be reckoned with. If you’ve never given those three novels a read, I recommend them to any Star Wars fan. They are fast paced, feel like a natural extention of the original trilogy and feature other great new characters including Mara Jade. But Thrawn is the main attraction for sure.

9. C – 3PO - All seven Star Wars films

I see lots of love for R2-D2 out there, but his counterpart just doesn’t get enough credit. For the original trilogy C-3PO provides a lot of the humor in the series. He plays the straight man not just to his little robot buddy but to a lot of the other characters around him. In the original trilogy C-3PO was a necessary part of the story. Without him on Tatooine R2 would never have made it into the hands of Luke and then to his ultimate goal of Obi-Wan Kenobi. In Empire Strikes Back he is the comic relief as the story gets darker and darker. His interactions with Han, Chewie and Leia are pretty amusing. Of course he is instrumental in getting the Ewoks to help the rebels on Endor and thus saving the galaxy.

Sadly in the prequels he is around for little more than a few moments of fan service and interaction with R2. Well, except for Attack of the Clones. For some reason Lucas thought that having endless horrible puns coming out of C-3PO’s voice replicator would provide the height of comedy. This man also gave us Jar Jar Binks (who is not appearing on this list, sorry to say), so his grasp of humor is suspect. But lets get back to the good points. Anthony Daniels not only brings C-3PO to life physically (in that painful suit) but also vocally, and that combination is one that endures to this day. He and R2-D2 are the only characters to appear in all seven Star Wars films. It is hard to imagine the series with out them, but most especially with 3PO’s style of banter.

8. Boba Fett - The Original Trilogy and Attack of the Clones

Mysterious bounty hunter with kick ass armor and ship that looks like a deranged elephant. What is not to like? I could (and did) write a whole blog about why Boba Fett is one of the most enigmatic characters in Star Wars at least until the prequels came out. I think for a whole generation of Star Wars fans he was the equivlant of mysterious cool. And yeah, I fall into that generation. The years haven’t been too kind to Fett, but I will say that as far as looks and abilities go, he is still on this list. Ask me my top favorite Star Wars characters back in 1998 or so and yeah Boba Fett would be on the top of the list. But these days he’s fallen a bit, but still manages to hold his own.

7. Emperor Palpatine - The Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy

Return of the Jedi brought this character to life for the first time. And what a jerk he turned out to be. Our first glimpse of the master of the galaxy in Empire Strikes Back hinted at a physically corrupted man shrouded in darkness. But we had no idea that this master manipulator was also good at taunting his enemies and fueling their hatred for him until they snap. We didn’t blame Luke when he just loses it and goes for the sneering cackling bastard. Supremely confident and delighting in his twisting and warping of lives, it is hard not to admire his devilish nature. The prequels actually do an interesting job of developing Senator Palpatine into the Emperor. He moves the chess pieces well and Ian McDiarmid gives an excellent performance going deliciously over the top in Revenge of the Sith. He is one of my favorite elements of the prequels. I’m curious to see if the new series hints at any sway from this dangerous villain, but if not, the six film saga we have serves as a fine showcase for this Sith lord.

6. Rey - The New Trilogy

One of the things that The Force Awakens does so well is deliver fun new characters and give them plenty of moments to shine. But no one was brighter than Daisy Ridley as Rey. We get our first female lead in a Star Wars film, and she embodies so much of what makes a great hero. He’s clever, compassionate and brave. Much like Luke Skywalker before her, she views her adventures with enthusiasm and excitement. She’s not the jaded modern hero who can’t be bothered to have fun or look in awe at what is around her. It is Rey’s interaction with her new comrades that drives so much of the story and the other characters in the movie. Ridley’s performance is perfect, and in the moments where she faces down Kylo Ren, faces the death of a friend and then meets a legend, we are right there with her, cheering her on and looking forward to whatever new adventure is around the corner. The prequels never offered us a character we could conntect to so closely. Rey is my favorite of the new characters featured in The Force Awakens and is the main reason I’m looking forward to the new trilogy to continue.

Get your goggles ready for the top five!

That wraps up the first five, but five more (and another runner up) are on the way. Would any of these characters make your top 10 list?

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The House on Sorority Row (1983)

Introduction:

Back in the 1980s the sorority slasher films were a dime a dozen. You could count on a new one every other week. I swear we could have had three shelves at the video store dedicated to this sub-genre. Ok, I’m exaggerating a little bit. But still you’ve got to do something interesting to stand out from this crowded field. Does this 1983 flick have what it takes to be memorable?

Summary:

As we all know sorority girls just want to have fun. But that is really hard when your dorm mother is the stubborn and inflexible Mrs. Slater (Louis Kelso Hunt). She is such a pain in the butt that Vicki (Eileen Davidson) decides to play a nasty prank on her. After she threatens to the old woman with a gun, things take a turn for the worse. Mrs. Slater ends up dead, and the girls panic. The wrap up the body and toss it in the filthy pool and go ahead with their party… because this is college and PARTY!

Well since this is a slasher flick we know all the good times can’t last. Soon enough a mysterious killer is hunting down and bumping off all the girls involved in Slater’s murder. Even more horrible is that it appears that Mrs. Slater may have risen from the pool for revenge. Can sweet and wholesome Katherine (Kate McNeil) stop the killer and figure out the secrets of The House on Sorority Row before it is too late?

Good Points:

• Some creative and gory kills
• An interesting twist on the revenge angle
• Looking for 80s nostalgia overload – this is the movie for you

Bad Points:

• The 80s nostalgia overload may kill some unprepared viewers
• The twist has been used before and since
• Has a few moments of “how the hell did that just happen?”

Overall:

This was an entertaining slice of slasher movie fun. It’s got all the goods: gory kills, jump scares and cute girls running around. The 80s cheese factor is high, but that adds to the charm. While I did see the twist coming, it was kinda neat and certainly put a different spin on things. The score was also surprisingly good with some really solid orchestral cues by Richard Band. If you’re in the mood for a vintage slasher on a Friday night, this will work great.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 3

Script: 3

Music: 4

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 4

Total:  3

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Hercules (1983)

Introduction:

I’ve said it before, but it needs repeating, the first half of the ‘80s were a glorious time for fantasy film buffs. Every studio was out there trying to cash in on the Dungeons and Dragons craze, and Conan the Barbarian sparked a huge influx of sword and sorcery films. But it was also a time of great joy for fans of bad movies – because this set of years was a gold mine of low budget/high hilarity films. I only mention this because… well… you’ll see.

Summary:

Everyone knows of good ol’ Hercules (Lou Ferrigno in this version). He’s super strong and he fights monsters and evildoers. He wears a tiny skirt and flexes a lot too. Well in this version we get a “space age” twist. The gods are more like alien benefactors. Evil king Minos (William Berger) trusts in science over magic and uses robots to take out our hero. Yes, this version has chariots, swords and skimpy togas, but it also has laser beams, disco inspired costumes and space travel. Sure the basic story is mythical, but it is all given a new coat of 80s florescent paint. Your brain may melt but it’s hard to deny that this is Hercules like you’ve never seen him before (or since really).

Good Points:

• Ferrigno and Berger give it their all and seem to be having a blast
• Fans of beefcake and cheesecake will be in heaven
• Pino Donaggio provides a full-bodied heroic musical score

Bad Points:

• The lower budget shows its seams a few too many times
• The clash between classic and futuristic is over the top and then some
• This movie is a mess

Overall:

This movie is pure gold for fans of cheesy fantasy flicks from the 1980s. Between the bizarre sci-fi/fantasy merging and the hilarious acting choices, you end up with something that can never be confused for “good” but is entertaining the whole time. Ferrigno is doing his best to play it straight, and isn’t too bad. But Berger takes the cake and scenery and chews threw it all. Much like Herc himself, it’s big, bold, kinda dumb and a lot of fun. Check it out at a bad movie night near you.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 2

Script: 2

Music: 2

Direction: 2

Entertainment: 5

Total:  4

In Depth Review

Full confession time, I saw this in the theater. I’m pretty sure I suckered my grandmother into taking me because I loved Clash of the Titans so much. But I’m sure she got a kick out of it too. She loved over the top action movies and television series – and if anything this version of Hercules is over the top. The movie made an impression on me. Sure it was miles away from the mythic story I knew well, but it had robots shooting lasers at Hercules! How could that not be completely awesome!

Looking that film now, well it’s a whole different kind of awesome.

First of all this was brought to us by some of the kings of ‘80s schlock, the Golan Globus Production company (aka Cannon Group). They’ve blessed us with classics like: the American Ninja series, Over the Top, Firewalker, Cobra, King Solomon’s Mines (with Richard Chamberlain), and Masters of the Universe. I had the pleasure of reviewing one of their films that was a Mystery Science Theater 3000 offering: Outlaw. Oh yeah, they were that good a what they did. What did they do? Make some of the most amusing and bizarre films of the decade with just enough of a budget to grab some big names (like Stallone and Chuck Norris) and get a competent enough crew to put together something entertaining – but not necessarily good.

Visually the movie is all over the map. You’ve got typical ancient Greek visuals, with folks in togas, riding in chariots and even a colossus standing in front of the gates of Atlantis. But there are also some more fantasy style costumes, with Circe (Mirella D’Angelo) and Ariadne (Sybil Danning) looking more like Xena the warrior princess. Finally there are the futuristic elements. First there’s the Gods: Zeus (Claudio Cassinelli), Hera (Rossana Podesta) and Athena (Delia Boccardo). They all look like they combined some eccentric diso wear with glowing neon and some fantasy accessories. It’s so stunning goofy that you have to see it to believe it.

But this futuristic look crosses over into the visual effects, with the robotic monsters. Previous to this, most Hercules films used some bad costumes, puppets or stop motion to create their creatures. Well in this case we get some not so smooth stop motion for the robotic creatures, and it works fine in the end. Since these are robots, they don’t have to move smoothly like Harryhausen’s work in Clash of the Titans or Jason and the Argonauts. Plus you get a nifty looking robot version of the hydra and a giant metallic centaur with one eye (a nod to Golden Voyage of Sinbad perhaps?). You also get a giant metallic bug, not sure how he fits into mythology, but there you go.

The rest of the visual effects are all over the map, with some below average model work, to a glowing flame sword (nothing like a lightsaber at all!). You get a hilarious stop motion hand, followed by some water snakes that look like, well I’ll just come out and say it – animated turds with glowing eyes. The opening sequence goes over the creation of the universe and the gods and all kinds of stuff in a bizarre prologue. The visuals here are dreamlike and actually kind of effective. But then you have the hilarious scene of Hercules and Circe flying into space on Prometheus’ chariot. You’ll fall out of your sofa laughing, it looks so ridiculous and the reaction shots of our heroes are priceless.

God bless composer Pino Donaggio for doing his best to make the whole movie have some kind of heft. He creates a huge over the top theme for Hercules. It’s full bodied and orchestral and more than a little reminiscent of John Williams’ work on Superman and Star Wars. But I suspect that was a request from the producers who also asked Bill Conti to make his score for Masters of the Universe sound like Superman and Star Wars. The only downside is that there appear to be very few tracks. Because the same music keeps getting used over and over again. By the end of the film you’re just wishing for some variations on the whole thing.

Ferrigno certainly looks the part as Hercules. During most of the action scenes he holds his own, tossing stunt men around with verve and fighting with various weapons (Including a tree trunk against a guy in a bear suit) to save the day. He’s a bit wooden when it comes facing the stop motion creatures, but that kind of thing can be tough for seasoned actors. As far as his performance goes, well he’s not bad. A little stiff at times but he’s giving it a good try.

Brad Harris as King Minos is anything but stiff. He’s over the top evil to his core. His obsession with science and it destroying the power of the gods is played to the hilt. He’s sinister, cold, cruel and pompous. All of his scenes are classic hammy actor material and plays it with gusto. Bravo!

For our trio of lovely ladies, well there’s plenty skin of display. Sybil Danning is our villainess who spends most of the movie vamping it up and bursting out of her strategically cut dress. Near the end, she gets her best scenes as she threatens Herc with sex (don’t see how that is a bad thing) and even throws a spear or two. Ingrid Anderson plays the princess Cassiopea who is Herc’s main love interest. She appears to have been dubbed, so her performance is hard to judge. But she looks ravishing in all her cloths (what little there is). Her “outfit” for the sacrifice leaves very little to the imagination and is probably the reason she got the part. I’m not slamming her performance, but the part is severely underwritten. Much more interesting is the sorceress Circe played by Mirella D. Angelo. Her character has a personality (even if she is dubbed) and does more interacting with Herc than Cassiopea does. Yes she’s dressed in cleavage and leg enhancing outfits, but she has more dialogue than the rest of the females in the cast (and that includes the two goddesses).

Now most of the old Hercules flicks from the ‘60s didn’t skimp on the oily muscle men and the half naked girls. It was part of the deal. This movie keeps that fine tradition alive. But the older films seemed like they were targeted at an older audience than this film. There are moments in Hercules where it feels like this is a movie made for young boys. The simplistic dialogue, the repetition of plot points and the bright colors all seem targeted at boys around 9 or so. But all the skin on display just feels a bit odd. Maybe it was for the fathers who were taking their sons, or for the teens who were getting high in the back of the theater and tripping on all the neon, robots and cleavage.

 Do I need to say that the script is the real downfall here? Well it is. It makes some sense, but there is no real concept of cohesive structure. It’s just a bunch of stuff that happens to Herc in his quest to save Cassiopea. King Minos wants to harness the power of the Phoenix and destroy the gods. Zeus picks Hercules as his champion, and helps him along the way. Hera is bitter and tries to stop throw a wrench in the works every once in a while. Some moments are lifted right from the classic myth. Baby Herc kills two snakes (glowing eyed turds) with his bare hands. He cleans the filthiest stables on earth by changing the course of a river. He travels to the underworld. But other moments, like where he and Circe cross a rainbow bridge to get to Atlantis come out of nowhere.

With all that said, the movie is a mess, but a glorious fun mess. It was great to revisit it, and see that it was a bigger slice of cheese than I remembered. 

Pod People (1983) - MST3K Review

Summary:

In a very foggy forest, some egg poachers see a meteor crash. An investigation reveals that aliens have arrived on earth and have laid eggs. One of the poachers takes offense to this and starts smashing the eggs only to be killed by the brown furry alien. 

Meanwhile a very 80's band records a goofy song, and then heads out to the same woods. The aliens attack the groupie with band and this leads them to a lone house in the woods. 

In the house is Tommy (Oscar Martin) who has secreted away one of the alien eggs. It hatches and Tommy names the alien Trumpy, because of his elephant-like snout. The two become friends, but it looks like Trumpy or one of his relatives is on a killing spree, taking out the poachers and band members alike! Can Tommy convince his family that Trumpy is good and not one of the murderous Pod People?

Movie Review:

According to the rumor this movie started out as a horror film about an alien that is killing people in a forest. But when E.T. came out, the producers wanted the alien to be cute and befriended by a child. Director Juan Piquer Simon acquiesced, but really did not like the final result. I can't say I blame him.

The original title is Los Nuevos Extraterrestres or The New Extraterrestrials. The film was a Spanish French co-production, so that means the version you see here is dubbed. But what is funny is that it appears that the actors are speaking in English. Most of the time the dialogue matches the lip flaps. I'm guessing this is similar to what you see in many Italian films, where all the dialogue is looped because of poor location sound equipment.

Honestly the dubbing doesn't make things any clearer. This movie suffers from severe split personality, moving from horror tropes to kid friendly goodness at the drop of a hat. And there is all kinds of odd moments in between. Take the bizarre new age score for the film. Someone loved their keyboards, and came up with some odd dreamy music for certain scenes and for the more intense sequences, just had a drum machine on loop. Since what we are seeing here is an adaptation of the film for an American audience, it's hard to know whom to fault for the insane editing and bizarre music choices. These could have been added later.

However what can't be added later is the performances. Sure the dubbing makes it worse, but these characters are all aggressively stupid or annoying. The most likable character is Tommy's mother Molly (Concha Cuetos). Maybe its because she has the least screen time, but she manages to be believable and likable. Her son on the other hand is probably your typical child actor in the original version, sure he over-acts, but so do most kids. No, what really makes him annoying is the high-pitched dubbed voice he is given. I swear it’s a woman doing his voice and that makes it even stranger. 

Finally there is Uncle Bill (Manuel Pereiro) perhaps the grouchiest man on earth. His first moments of screen time are snapping at Tommy about using the scientific name for a centipede. Heck! I was impressed that the kid could say all that Latin without stumbling - or at least his dubbed actress... whatever. Bill continues being annoyed and grumpy and just unpleasant during the remainder of the film. He starts slamming down the booze near the end and that does nothing to help matters.

The poachers are a mixed bunch, with the older gent looking like a Spanish Lorne Greene. One carries a crossbow for most of the movie and is a real sleaze. The last wears dorky glasses and a silly hat; I think he's supposed to be funny. The movie starts with these guys and will jump to them occasionally, but they really don't figure into the story too much, other than to get the ball rolling by destroying the alien eggs.

The band is comprised of lead singer Rick (Ian Sera) who I think is supposed to be our hero, but is a real jerk. He yells at his band mates, cheats on his girlfriend and threatens to shoot grouchy Bill (not that he doesn't deserve it). But at the end of the movie we are supposed to feel good that he survived... I think. His girlfriend Sharon (Nina Ferrer) is one of the backup singers and she's bland but pretty. The same could be said for Kathy (Sara Palmer) the other backup singer. She's dating Brian (Emilio Linder) the nice guy who is the voice of reason. Then there's Tracy (Maria Albert) who is boy crazy but nice enough. Along for the ride is the rock stupid groupie Lara (Susanna Bequer). She's a cutie but dumb as a post and faces the brunt of Sharon's anger.

Last but not least is Trumpy. He's brown, short and has a trunk like an elephant and pointy ears like Spock. He doesn't speak (thank god), but pantomimes. He eats peanuts and drinks milk. And sometimes his eyes glow with a brilliant white light and things get goofy. He can make objects move on their own, he can reverse gravity and he can make telescopes super powerful. According to Tommy, Trumpy "can do magic things." There is also a grumpy version of Trumpy that is going around killing people. He does this by slapping them. One hit and you're dead. So avoid evil Trumpy at all costs!

All the characters are really enough to make things hilarious, but the editing is just the icing on this Trumpy cake. The movie jumps from scene to scene randomly. Sometimes showing us the poachers, or the band or Tommy. Sometimes cutting to an empty outdoor scene, maybe to show time passing? It's not completely confusing, but it just feels slapped together.

The split personality keeps this from being a winner in either genre. It's never scary, because the alien is silly looking. If this joker was stalking me, I'd fall down laughing instead of reacting like many of the humans do in the film. As for the fun family film, well Tommy is so grating that you want to slap him. Tthere are people getting killed all over the place. It reminds me of the duel personalities of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. Trumpy can do magic things, but he can't save the film. That's why we turn to Joel and the bots.

Episode Review:

This is one of the classic Joel episodes. It was the third episode of Season 3, and is considered by many to be one of the best episodes of the show. But I've run into plenty of people who don't like this episode and I'll explore both options.

This movie is a mess, no two ways about it. Even if it was edited properly, I still think it would have ended up on this show. There is too much to make fun of. Joel and the bots start right up as soon as the credits kick in. The opening titles play over scenes from another movie, one that looks equally bad. They pick on the names, the footage in the background and the odd music. Once the movie begins with a shot of space with stars shooting away from the camera Tom quips "Boldly backing away from where no man has gone before." It's because the cameraman knows that Trumpy is coming.

The poachers provide plenty of comedy with the crossbow wielding one being the brunt of Renaissance Faire jokes. The older poacher seems a bit too eager to steal the eggs and this leads to all kinds of jokes about his bloodlust. The dorky poacher and his egg-smashing scene is classic stuff. It's so nonsensical you can't help but laugh, and Joel and bots provide other observations.

Then there is the song the band is singing. This sequence by itself is one of the highlights of the show. The song is horrible. The acting is hilarious and the quips are top notch, especially since you can't understand the lyrics. Joel and the bots start adding their own lyrics and its great stuff. Once the band is on the road things calm down a bit, but remain amusing.

But don't let that fool you, Trumpy's scenes with Tommy are provide plenty of laughs. The charming music, the scenes that try to ape E.T. and even the clever disguise at the end of the film provide mountains of riffing. But it's the whole "magic things" moment that is jaw droopingly insane. Using stop motion animation and what Joel calls Pee Wee's Playhouse music, everything goes nuts in Tommy's room. It just happens for no reason, and you almost don't need to riff it at all. The team picks key moments to add comments and it's all gold.

The finale with the alien killing off the last of our characters and Tommy and Trumpy trying to escape isn't quite as goofy as the rest of the film, but there's lots to enjoy. The shower death scene is dumb, and Bill's drinking provides lots of humor. The ending is strangely sad, with Trumpy being abandoned in the woods. As goofy as he is, you feel bad for the little guy just standing there alone in the fog. A bizarre ending for a messed up movie.

People who dislike this episode site the following reasons. The new age music puts them to sleep. It is a very soothing score and there are lots of moments where there is no dialogue, just the keyboard. Of course the silly song at the beginning and Trumpy's magic moment are very different but it might not be enough to keep some people awake. The movie is also very foggy, literally. Nearly every outdoor scene has fog and the director even managed to fill a bathroom with fog for the shower scenes. This makes the episode a difficult watch for some people. The dubbing is also sited as too painful to ignore. I'm in the opposite side of the camp. I find dubbing to add to humor and some of my favorite episodes of the show are dubbed: Godzilla vs. Megalon, Jack Frost, Fugitive Alien, Hercules Against the Moonmen. Then there's the editing and basic storytelling. I agree that this movie moves very slowly or at least it feels that way because of the editing. This slow development of the plot along with the music can put people to sleep. There is also a running joke involving the television show "McCloud". If running jokes rub you the wrong way, you may not enjoy it, but I chuckle every time. I don't agree with these, but I figured I'd put there, in case you might find yourself in this camp.

Joel and the bots are inspired by the film and have a blast with the host segments. It all starts with a one man show by Crow followed by Tom's attempt. Then they do the invention exchange with the mad scientists. Joel creates the ultimate guitar chord - its powerful stuff. The Mads create a public domain karaoke machine and then sing the worst renditions of "Ave Maria" I've ever heard. The first break occurs right after the band records their song. Joel and the bots recreate the moment with all new and insane lyrics. This segment coined the phrase "Idiot Control Now", something I've seen all over the net and not related to MST3K items in the least. For some reason I see related to video games? At the next break, Joel is inspired by the new age music to create his own wall of keyboards. Crow helps him out. "Hold this key down for an hour or until you get a contract from Windam Hill". The next break comes after the magic moment. Joel is Tommy. The bots take turns playing Trumpy and all kinds of insanity breaks out. The Mads are stunned. The final segment ends with Joel singing a song "Will There Still be a Clown in the Sky", a heartfelt and yet melancholy ballad in honor of Trumpy's sad fate. The Mads respond by imitating Rick in his studio.

Yeah, I love this episode. It's not a fast mover, but Joel episodes always tended to be slower paced, especially in the first three seasons. The movie is amazingly goofy and bad, and the riffs are top notch. The host segments range from clever to laugh out loud funny. And so many memorable lines come from this episode "Trumpy you can do magic/stupid things." "Idiot Control Now!" "It's called 'evil', kid." "I'm going to have to find a ranger or a bear to sleep with." "No, 'M' like Manhattan or Mimosa."and the immortal "It stinks" complete with hand gesture. It's a great episode to start new viewers with, and it's very rewachable. For my money it’s easily one of the best episodes of Season 3.

I give this episode five Trumpy aliens out of five.

This episode is available in the Mystery Science Theater Collection Volume One.