Jack Frost (1964) – MST3K Review

Summary

Amazingly adorable Nastenka (Natalya Sedykh) lives with an evil stepmother and wicked stepsister. Her life is one of toil and ridicule. Her father is a pathetic wimp who always agrees with the evil stepmother. One day Nastenka meets handsome braggart Ivan (Eduard izoltov) who tries to impress her but ends up turning into a half man half bear. All because he was a jerk to Grandfather Mushroom after an extended game of hide and seek (don’t ask). 

Ivan runs off to do a good deed and turn back into a handsome man. Meanwhile after a matchmaking meeting goes poorly for the wicked stepsister, Nastenka is blamed for the debacle. The poor girl is taken out to the middle of the forest to freeze to death. Told you the stepmother was wicked! She is found by Jack Frost (Aleksandr Khvylya) the spirit of winter who takes her into his home. At the same time Ivan, attempts to find Nastenka and runs into the wicked witch, Baba Yaga (Georgi Milyar). She claims to want to help, but she is determined to eat Ivan and turn Nastenka into a frozen statue. Will our fairy tale heroes end up dead, or will they be saved by the magical powers of Jack Frost?

Movie Review

Like nearly all the Russian fairy and folktale movies tackled by Mystery Science Theater 3000, you can view these films in two ways. You can see them as colorful, entertaining films filled with magic, and child-like wonder. Or you can view them as insane, nonsensical bits of film containing some of the funniest dub lines uttered and strangest situations ever put on the screen.

As a lover of fantasy films, I fall into the first camp. Jack Frost or Morozko as it is known in Russian is first and foremost a fairy tale targeted toward children. The characters are simple. The situations are outlandish. There are moments that are supposed to thrill the single digit age crowd and put a smile on the face of adults who remember those folk tales fondly.

Jack Frost is really a compilation of several fables and story tropes combined together to make a single narrative. That explains why it jumps around quite a bit doing its best to work the Santa Claus-like figure of Morozko into the same tale as infamous witch Baba Yaga. To be honest, it takes some serious stretching to get there. Still we root for Nastenka, because she has a good heart and is pretty. At first we don’t like Ivan because he’s a braggart and rude to his elders. But after he turns into a silly bear headed man, he learns his lesson and becomes the hero of our story. He tricks Baba Yaga and does his best to save Nastenka after she is frozen. He has a good heart, he just needed to be shown how to treat others with respect. With simple lessons to learn, the movie isn’t a masterpiece of plotting, but an interesting grab bag of your favorite European and Russian stories.

Where the movie really shines is the amazing visuals and fun situations. For a Russian film made in 1964, this is an elaborate production, with colors popping off the screen and crazy costumes and special effects. Sure it’s all a bit dated looking now, but the magic is still there. Everything from animation to reversing the film is used to create the magical world. One of my favorite special effects is the silly wooden pig sled that goes racing over the snow. Its such a random sequence executed with a bit of string and sped up camera that you can’t help but laugh and shake your head. Every effort was made to make this fairy tale land come to life and I think it was handled very well.

The acting is all over the top and silly. Not a single character plays a normal person. Nastenka Is so cute your teeth hurt. The witch is so wicked that you can’t help but boo her, and yet she’s silly enough that little children won’t be too frightened. My favorites are the nasty stepmother and stepsister. These two are so repulsive and horrid that you can’t wait for them to get their just desserts. Even Jack Frost appears as a mysterious force at first. You don’t know if you can trust him, but when Nastenka melts his heart, he’s like the magical grandfather your never had. Unfortunately the dubbing is uniformly bad, with lines coming out in a jumble or just not making a lick of sense. My knowledge of Russian myths and legends helped me follow the film, but if you’re not familiar with these stories you could get lost very easily.

As much as I appreciate Jack Frost, I can say that it is one of the goofiest things I’ve seen. The pig sled is only one example of random hilarity to be found here. Another is Grandfather Mushroom, a disappearing old coot who toys with Ivan. The witch’s cottage with legs and thuggish tree henchmen has to be seen to be believed. The robbers look like a mix of Michael Palin and schnauzers. Then there’s the entire matchmaker sequence where the stepsister gets gussied up for an interview with the eligible bachelor. Wow! It’s all done in the name of fun and magic, but its so over the top, and foreign at times your American mind can’t help but laugh. It was a perfect fit for Mike and the bots. Let's see what they do with it.

Episode Review

This is the fourth Russian fairytale film the crew tackled and in my book it’s the best one. The Sword and the Dragon was on the slow side. The Day the Earth Froze seemed to stun Joel and the bots with its strangeness. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad has the best riffing of the Comedy Central episodes, but really Jack Frost fires on all cylinders.

Part of the reason has to be that Sci-fi channel finally relaxed enough to let the crew to do something other than sci-fi or horror, and something that wasn’t in the Universal catalogue. After the endless parade of black and white John Agar-fests, I think the crew was exciting to tackle something in a bit more outlandish. What better way to celebrate than with an amazingly colorful and insane film like Jack Frost?

The boys get right to work commenting that the stepsister looks like Tom Petty in a baby’s crib. When they comment that the candy she’s sucking on looks like liver on a stick, you know you’re in for a good one. Grandfather Mushroom opens the door for drug related humor (“Isn’t that what they called Jerry Garcia?”) When Ivan turns into a bear, they can’t believe their eyes and just roll with it. The pig sled, the witch, the robbers - its as if the movie is just gift-wrapping the situations and characters for riffing. 

The boys have some fun with how darn cute Nastenka is, and how often her little face fills up the screen with her huge eyes. They get a kick out of the over the top acting provided by Jack Frost himself, as he rants, raves, and flails about. He bears more than a passing resemblance to the nutty Santa in Santa Claus. All the animals in the film are given their own lines thanks to Mike and bots, with the family dog and the evil cat getting the best ADR riffing. The boys are non-stop with the laughs. After another impossible and over the top occurrence concludes Crow says, “Well I guess this is just a magical land, Mike.” He pauses and then says, “I hate magical lands!”

But the hatred it feigned. The movie is too good to hate and so silly that you can’t help but laugh with it. The jokes are varied and plentiful, really making this a can’t miss episode for anyone who loves fantasy films and anything with a bad dub.

Sadly the host segments are really hit and miss. Pearl takes off and leaves Observer and Bobo behind on the “camping planet”. The two argue for a while before Mike steps in and nearly gets them to forget about the movie. After the first break Crow brings in Yakov Smirnoff (if you don’t remember him, good!) to comment on the film. He fails. At the next break, Crow has turned into a bear, just like Ivan in the movie! Mike and Tom don’t believe him. For the next break, Crow brings in another expert in Russian fables – Earl Torgeson. Yeah no one knows who he is either. When the movie concludes Servo tries to be as cute at Nastenka and fails. Pearl comes back in time to determine what the best ape movie ever made is.

This is one of the gems of the second half of season eight and maybe of the entire show. The episode provides lots of laughs. It’s also fun movie to watch during winter and makes for an excellent final part of a trilogy including Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Santa Claus. I can hardly wait to inflict it on other family members this next holiday.

I give it five wooden pig sleds out of five.

This episode is available on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume XVIII.

parts: The Clonus Horror (1979) - MST3K Review

Summary:

Richard (Tim Donnelly) is living the good live in a utopian society. He spends his days participating in good-natured exercise, learning about the mythical land of America and hanging out with his friends. But for all the fun and games, Richard feels like life is missing something. When he meets the lovely Lena (Paulette Breen) she feels the same way. The two begin to notice this little society has some odd elements. The guards seem to talk to no one. People disappear without a trace. Even the wise Dr. Jameson (Dick Sargent) appears to be lying to them.

When Richard does some sneaking around he discovers that the facility they all live in is called Clonus, and that he is a clone of a man named Richard Knight. Richard doesn’t quite understand everything he finds, but it is enough to get him in trouble. Soon he is on the run from Clonus security. Richard escapes the facility and makes it to the big city, but he finds the world completely alien. Can an old reporter Jake Noble (Keenan Wynn) lead Richard to find his original? Or will Clonus and all it’s powerful backers make sure the secret remains buried? Peter Graves rounds out the cast in this paranoid sci-fi thriller.

Movie Review:

"You're swell." "I like how keen you are."

So lets get the obvious out of the way. If the plot to Parts: The Clonus Horror (which I’ll just call Clonus from now on) sounds familiar, that’s because the main story elements were essentially borrowed for the Michael Bay film The Island. It caused a bit of a legal issue that got settled out of court. The two the movies are really similar, with the biggest difference being the budget.

Most of the film is comprised of location shooting around Southern California. The facility for Clonus was filmed at two colleges with some interesting architecture. It looks not quite futuristic, but is certainly a vast contrast the scenes in downtown Los Angeles and in the suburban neighborhood we see in the second half of the film.

The clones all wear variants on the same clothing, essentially shorts and a polo shirt. The guards are dressed in tracksuits with baseball caps. Then you have the doctors in their traditional lab coats. It gives everything a kind of bland conformity that fits the utopian opening of Clonus and contrasts to the late 70s fashions we see in the “real” world later.

Oh Darren, does Sam know what you're up to with Dr.
Mario over here?

While the movie is a science fiction movie, it goes light on the special effects. This is much more of an X-files variety of sci-fi, conspiracies and paranoia. We don’t see the cloning in action, because these clones are grown over a long period of time. We do get to see the preservation process for the clones, as they replace the blood of one clone with green fluid and freeze the poor guy.

The sound effects are pretty standard for this type of film. The score is mostly electronic, with some interesting vocal effects for the more sinister moments. For the low budget it works pretty well.

Clonus does feature some big names in the cast and they do most of the heavy lifting in the film. Peter Graves has a small but crucial role as Senator Jeff Knight. He is very much aware of the Clonus project. When his brother Richard (David Hooks) confronts him with evidence in the form of the clone Richard, Jeff convinces his brother of the need for the facility and the clones. How else are the chosen few supposed to get perfect organs for transplanting in their old age. Graves does the smooth talking Senator role very well, and has some good interplay with Hooks. You believe the two are brothers.

They argue a lot, but the sex is great.

Keenan Wynn as the craggy reporter and Lurene Tuttle as his wife Anna inject some humor into the grim film. They playfully bicker the entire time they are on screen together. This banter also gives us some background on the characters and gives something new for our clone hero to watch and be confused by.

Dick Sargent plays the deceptive Dr. Jameson. He’s obviously in this for the pure science aspect and doesn’t consider the clones to be humans, but treats them as experiments. He does most of his interacting with Dr. Nelson (Zale Kessler), but has a few good scenes with clone Richard.

For the most part, Clonus follows clone Richard on his quest to learn about his isolated world and then to survive the pursuit into the outside world. It isn’t an easy part, because he has to balance a child like naïveté with curiosity and fear. Unlike many of the other clones, he isn’t drugged, or lobotomized, but his education is severely limited. So while he appears to be a bit dense at times it makes sense for the character. Donnelly does a good job with this tough role, although he does seem to go a bit overboard at times, it is hard to judge how a child-like mind in a full grown man’s body would react in these situations.

"Architecture by the Sydney Opera House."

Most of the clones face this challenge in the acting department. Some play this child like simplicity a little too broad coming across as stupid or slow. I don’t want to judge to harshly because it is difficult to conceive how someone would act if they were raised in such a limited environment.

As far as the direction and story construction, Clonus actually works really well. It has decent pacing, and sets up some solid thrills and tension. Because Richard has no clue about our world (or his world for that matter) he makes for a good protagonist. The odds are obviously against him, but we keep hoping that he can escape his horror before it is too late. But this movie was made in the 1970s and that pretty much guarantees that it will all end badly with the government and Clonus winning out. I also love how all the big backers we see are old white men. I’d be curious to see what the women who invested in Clonus are like.

They just started to watch  Manos: The Hand of Fate.

I get the feeling that this movie had been released before 1977 it would be better remembered. But Star Wars came along and changed everything. From that moment on, sci-fi meant space opera and space adventures. Movies dealing with sci-fi concepts in our real world were just not as appealing to audiences.

Yes, Clonus has budget limitations. Sometimes the acting isn’t that great. Sometimes the dialogue is hard to make out because of poor sound work. Sometimes the seams show just a little to clearly. But the movie works as well as you could hope. No it isn’t Logan’s Run, and some elements certainly seem inspired by THX-1138, but the final result is a solid sci-fi thriller that aims high, but ends up a little short. That doesn’t mean that Mike and bots didn’t have much to work with, because there are plenty of odd moments that make Clonus a great target for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment.

Episode Review:

"If I'm elected, Biography for everybody!"

I’ll admit that Parts: The Clonus Horror is a favorite around our house. Not only because it is a really funny riffing session, and a solid movie on top of it. No, we really love this episode because the two colleges that serve as the  Clonus facility are the two colleges my wife and I attended. The first time we saw this episode when it aired in 1998, we were stunned. It couldn’t be, but there they were: both college campuses, shown through a funky 70s filter. It was odd to see what changed and what remained exactly the same nearly twenty years later. I admit we spent most of the film attempting to figure out where they filmed the keys scenes. Because of that little bit of trivia, I freely admit a  bit of bias toward this episode.

Mike and bots have a lot of fun with Clonus, even if I think they end up coming down a little too hard on it. For me, this is similar to the way they ended up approaching TimeChasers, Overdrawn at the MemoryBank or even Soul Taker. All of these are good solid movies with low budgets. The stories make sense, are paced well and provide some entertainment. They are certainly superior to films like Werewolf, Hobgoblins and Horrors ofSpider Island. But the crew treated these films all about the same, which I never thought was fair.

"She really was on top of old smokey."

So you get some pretty harsh slams on Clonus. They go to town on how unattractive our lead character is. They claim the movie makes no sense (something I never understood, because I always thought it was very clear).  They continually say how bad the movie is, and well, I just don’t buy it. I suppose when you have a basis for comparison that includes something like The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed up Zombies, well something like Clonus is fine art.

So if you ignore the pretty harsh attacks on the film (a syndrome of the Sci-fi channel years), you get some really fun riffing. The clones make for some of the best jokes in the first half. The happy go lucky community, with the constant smiles and shirtless wrestling opens up lots of riffing opportunities. As Richard and his pal participate in a topless pushup competition (surrounded by clone onlookers) Tom declares it “The longtime companion Olympics.” Later we see two clones wrestling (again without shirts) and Mike advices, “Gentlemen you are doing this on your own, this is not sanctioned.”

Clone Richard is perpetually confused by everything.

The clones are told that at some point they will go to America, and live a life of pure joy. Of course the clones that do end up “going to America” are spirited away to be preserved and stored. But the doctors and clones constantly use the phrase, “Going to America” to which Tom will belt out in his best Niel Diamond “TODAY!” Crow is offended by the films message that “we kill and bag people in America”.

Richard’s nearly constant confusion provides a ton of riffing opportunities. When he finds a can of Old Milwaukee in the river he contemplates it for a long time. Mike references The Gods Must be Crazy when he says, “The little Bushman doesn’t know what to make the can.” When clone Richard goes to a “confessional” to ask about the can, he enters what looks like a phone booth and puts on headphones. Crow declares him “Charles Van Dorkin”, and if you saw the film Quiz Show that line will crack you up. Later Richard is snooping around the facility and finds a map with Milwaukee on it. This revelation is punctuated by Mike declaring, “This is the most interest anyone has ever paid to Milwaukee, EVER.”

Peter just got that feeling that someone is watching
him... on Biography!

Peter Graves opens up a whole host of other jokes. I figured they would go for some Mission: Impossible lines, or even callbacks to other episodes featuring Graves in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 catalogue (such as The Beginning of the End or It Conquered the World). But Clonus is best remember by MST3K fans for the running gags based on Graves hosting the television series Biography. This running joke is hit or miss. Sometimes I find the whole thing terribly funny, other times it feels like they just beat it into the ground. They pretty much riff the entire end credits as Peter Graves providing voice over for a Biography episode about various cast and crew involved in Clonus. If this starts to rub you the wrong way, it is a saving grace that Graves isn’t in the movie very long.

You know... for kids.

You’ve got some fun host segments in this episode. Things start off a bit fuzzy, when Mike shows off his new 70s mustache. The bots mock him mercilessly, so he shaves it off. Then they mock his bare lip. Meanwhile Pearl, Brain Guy and Professor Bobo encounter the horror of the Space Children. Not to be confused with the movie of the same name, these little brats remind me more of the super powerful kids from the old Star Trek  episode. They proceed to torment Pearl and her posse. At the first break a game of Candyland causes Brain Guy to cheat! Meanwhile Bobo gets hit in his area by a baseball. At the next beak Candyland has gone horribly wrong, so Pearl begs Mike and bots to recreate an education television program for the kids to watch. Crow and Tom are you puppet hosts and Mike shows off the letter and number of the day. It goes pretty well until the boys switch in a Spanish language version with loud music, horrible outfits and ridiculous camerawork. The space children burst into tears, and Bobo gets hit in his crotch again. When we return to the space children they are asking Pearl and Co about the birds and the bees. It doesn’t go well and Bobo takes one to the junk again (see a pattern here)? After the movie ends, Crow shows off his new nose and Tom shows off his new lullaby, guaranteed to lull children to sleep. It sounds like a polka on crack and that wakes up the space children. Pearl is less then pleased.

For me the riffing on Clonus is a bit stronger in the first half, when clone Richard is interacting with his fellow clones and wandering around the facility. But my bias at seeing my old university back in 1979 might have something to do with it. The Graves Biography riffing kicks into high gear in the second half, so that keeps it from being a top notch episode. Still this episode is one I have no problem recommending.

Richard finally arrives in America... TODAY!

I give it four confused clones out of five.

This episode is available on The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Volume 12.

When Candyland goes horribly wrong.

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank (1985) - MST3K Review

Summary:

In the not too distant future the giant company Novicorp dominates all of society. The huge Chairman (Donald Moore) controls all our lives, for profit. Most folks seem content with this, everyone except for Aram Fingal (Raul Julia). Fingal just wants to have some fun in his life. But even classic films like Casablanca are outlawed, and his days are spent in endless drudgery in a giant computer bank. Fingal eventually gets caught watching Casablanca at his workstation and this causes him to be flagged for a compulsory vacation.

This means that his consciousness will be placed into the body of baboon for some R&R. I’m not kidding. While this is happening a mishap causes Fingal’s body to be misplaced. The computech responsible for the safety of Fingal’s consciousness, Apollonia James (Linda Griffiths) does what she can to preserve his consciousness as the search for his body drags on. She ends up putting his consciousness into the Novicorp computer for safekeeping… and that is when Fingal starts to create his own reality. At first it’s all fun and games, including scenes inspired by his favorite classic films. But eventually Fingal figures that if he is in the main computer at Novicorp, why not make some changes. But the chairman isn’t going to take that lying down, and soon virtual Fingal is running for is virtual life, and Apollonia must decide if she wants to help the corporation or help the rebel.

Movie Review:

Great names in cyberpunk: Neo, Flynn, Kusanagi ...
and Fingle?

Based on a short story by John Varley, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is like a prototype for The Matrix, but inspired by 1980s technology. It takes some of the concepts introduced in Tron but molds them into a science fiction dystopia environment. In fact it reminds me a bit of William Gibson’s Neuromancer, but without the dark edge, and delving a bit more into the corporate world of bureaucracy and control (shades of Tron again).  And much like Tron I’m not sure if this film would appeal to anyone outside of the computer industry when it was released in the 1985.

While, Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is ahead of it’s time, it also has the sense of fun that seemed to be a requisite of 1980s science fiction adventures. There’s a lot of humor built into the story, especially dealing with Fingal’s increasingly frustrated attempts to fight the system from the outside and then his joy at discovering the freedom of creating his own world within the computer. The use of Casablanca seems contradictory to the futuristic setting, but it creates a fun disconnect. Then you have the whole concept that people’s minds being put into the bodies of animals as some kind of therapy is just so goofy it makes sense.

I'm still not sure how getting "doppled" into a drunk
baboon is supposed to help any body.

It is the inherent goofiness that makes the whole movie entertaining. Unfortunately there are a few things working against it. The movie was made for public television, and therefore didn’t have a very large budget. But I think a considerable amount of the budget did make it onto the screen. There are a lot of blue screen and computer image effects. Sure this was done in the 1985, so it looks pretty crude to modern eyes, but I think it adds a charm to the movie. Now this movie was all shot on 1980s video, so it has a look that has been known to cause blindness in hard-core film fans. But it gets the job done and the interesting futuristic costumes and props show up well enough.

Probably the most interesting performance in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is by Raul Julia as Fingal. He gets to have some fun playing the frustrated computer programmer, a virtual reality rebel, and the suave Casablanca version of himself, Rick Blaine. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if Julia quite understood all the technical aspects of the story. He seems a bit lost at times and it causes his performance to be wooden. Other times, he’s completely into the part and brings a lot of energy to the table

Apollonia spends half the movie in this same pose.

The rest of the cast is pretty average all the way around. Griffiths plays the nerdy heroine Apollonia well. We get that she’s clever and resourceful, but also not keen to lose her job. Unfortunately she gets saddled with some really bad voice over and some painful exposition lines. Lots of her dialogue is filled with really silly “futuristic” sounding words. For any actor these would be difficult to spout out, but when you have a whole set of “techno-dopple the positronic helio-graphic interlocking thing-a-majiggy” well you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Some of the other cast members play things broadly, but in many cases it works out fine. Many of these are virtual characters, so they don’t behave in a realistic way anyway. It kind of reminded me of eXistenZ in that way.

Even the fun 80s synth music adds that extra special addition of cheesiness to the whole affair. Where things break down is in the script explanations near the end of the film. A bunch of stuff happens, and I’m still not sure how everything resolves itself. But by this point Overdrawn at the Memory Bank is chugging along with lots of odd visuals, hilarious dialogue and Raul Julia spinning in front of a computer animated background that could be cribbed from an Atari game. And while you’d have a good time riffing along with this one yourself, let Mike and bots lend a hand with one of the funniest episodes of the eighth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Episode Review:  

Julia seems to be having a good time playing this
duel role.

When it came time to wrap up the first season of episodes for the Sci-fi Channel, the crew decided to knock out a trilogy of 1980s science fiction films. I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating, that may be my favorite genre for the crew to tackle. To follow the uproarious Space Mutiny and the silly chronologically impaired Time Chasers we get this virtual reality gem Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

This is another case where it seems the film was created just for the MST3K treatment. It is filled with images, dialogue, performances and plot elements that just lend themselves to riffing. And the boys unleash with a steady stream of commentary that make the whole thing hilarious.

One of the biggest gifts comes with our protagonists name, Fingle. The boys go to town working Fingle’s name into all kinds of amusing word play. During a scene that is filmed in soft light, soft filter and has Fingle and Apollonia close together Crow says “This is filmed in soap opera vision”, to which Mike adds, “It’s Days of our Fingle”. During a scene where Apollonia spouts out a bunch of techno jargon involving the “doppling process”. Mike adds, “I don’t want to bungle or bobble the Fingle dopple.” But my favorite take on his name is when Tom speaks for Apollonia with the modified slogan, “I’ve got a fever for a flavor of a Fingle.”

"I'll see you on the dark side of Raul!"

They crew also used Raul Julia to their best advantage. Not only do they riff on his mixed performance here, but they make sure to reference his roles in The Adams Family as well a hilarious Kiss of the Spider Woman reference. One of my favorite bits is during the opening credits, where Julia’s face is superimposed over a spinning cube. Crow declares it a “Raul-bics cube.” Tom says, “Hey I thought he was Puerto Rican, I didn’t know he was…” Mike shouts, “Oh no, don’t go there.” But Tom finishes with “Cuban!” and bursts out laughing.

But Overdrawn at the Memory Bank has plenty of other oddities that provide fodder. Since Fingle is so hung up on Casablanca we keep seeing parts of the film as well as a virtual bar and characters from the film. Crow finally declares, “You know, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie!” There is also an odd thing about people being threatened with being doppled into the body of an anteater. It comes up several times and the boys have a field day with it. Throwing in mock-repulsed lines about “filthy disgusting anteaters”.

The Fat Man and his huge huge face make for a lot
of the riffing.

And if you wanted to brush up on your fat jokes, this is the episode to watch. The character called “The Fat Man” provides the boys with ample opportunities to mock his weight, his out of breath wheezing and the fact that he looks a little bit like TV’s Frank! I think they get a bit too mean with these, but it’s par the course with an episode from this era.

There is one thing I’m not too fond of with this episode. The boys go on and on about how bad the movie is. But I think it is actually a pretty creative film, with a lot of interesting and fun concepts. Yeah it gets confusing, and I’m with them when they have no clue what is happening at the end with “I am interfaced!” But they get a little too angry at the film, and I think they may have been a bit too riled up at it.

The host segments are actually quite a bit of fun. The episode starts with Crow selling shirts for his catchphrase, “You know you want me, baby!”. Mike points out that Crow has never said that, and that selling shirts is kind of stupid. Crow offers Mike a catalogue filled with catchphrases that Mike can order shirts for. Mike is rather fond of “We’re all out of toner”. The bots aren’t impressed. The rich irony, you can still get shirts with Crow and his catchphrase on them (as well as your favorite MST3K riffs over at Satellite News). Pearl is inspired by the fact that Overdrawn at the Memory Bank  was made for public television. So she creates her own pledge drive, with Ortega from The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed up Zombies manning the phones. One of her featured shows is “The Nature of Bobo” where Brain Guy does a killer National Geographic voiceover as Bobo does what Bobo normally does.  Tom is so impressed he calls the telethon so he can receive his free tote bag. His declaration, “There’s so many things to tote!” is frequently quoted around my house.

"Your love gives me wings to fly." "I really do like pie."

At the first break, the robots were inspired by the baboon in the movie to order their own monkey from instantmonkeysonline.com. The monkey arrives instantly, and immediately hates Mike. At the next break Mike is still being tormented by the monkey, even excessive drooling won’t save him (don’t ask). Meanwhile the pledge drive is in full swing as Pearl stops for a touching musical number called, “When Loving Lovers Love”, a duet with Brain Guy. The lyrics are hilarious and it is one of my favorite songs during a host segment. Gotta give Mary Jo props for belting this sucker out. At the next break, Tom decides to use doppling technology to go down to the Nanites virtual world. It goes very badly for him. The next break features Bobo trying to talk the monkey down, but then he joins in tormenting Mike. When the movie ends, Mike takes tranquelizes Bobo and the monkey, and Pearl is counting her massive amount of cash from her pledge drive.

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank was a great way to end the inagural season of the show on the Sci Fi Channel. It’s got plenty of laughs, a very watchable movie and some of the best riffing the show has to offer.

I give it five flavo-fibes out of five.

If anything, this movie gives you a chance to throw
your arms to the side and yell, "I am interfaced!"

This episode is available on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume 4.

Space Mutiny (1988) – MST3K Review

Summary:

Hurtling through the cosmos is the spaceship, the Southern Sun. Captained by the bearded and wise Alex Jansen (Cameron Mitchell) the ship is looking for a habitable planet to colonize. But not everyone aboard the Southern Sun is willing to wait to find the perfect planet. They want off this tin can and they want it now! Lead by the scowling Commander Kalgan (John Phillip Law) they stage a mutiny and capture Jansen’s daughter Lea (Cisse Cameron).

But help is on the way in the form of big beefy Dave Ryder (Reb Brown). This fearless pilot to takes a shine to Lea and wants to help the Southern Sun in any way he can. This translates into punching people, shooting laser guns, driving a armored golf cart and screaming in a high pitched voice. Added to the mix are the half naked writhing Bellerians, who may help or hinder our hero in his quest to quell the Space Mutiny.

Movie Review:

Holy guacamole is this a huge slab of hilarious low budget 80s sci-fi cheese. If you love bad 80s movies, then you really need to see Space Mutiny. It is an amazing mish mash of corny dialogue, poor acting, ridiculous plot and borrowed footage from the 70s version of Battlestar Galactica the result is a movie that is pure comic gold.

Lets start with the visuals. The special effects for nearly all the space scenes including the battle sequences comes directly from Battlestar Galactica. These effects were done by several of the folks who worked on the original Star Wars and didn’t join Industrial Light and Magic. As a result, this stuff looks pretty good, maybe a little out of date when Space Mutiny appeared in 1988 (by this time Star Trek: The Next Generation was already using computer graphics for the visual effects). But the detailed models used in those scenes clashes horribly with the low budget costumes, props, and sets used for all the interior shots of the film.

The bulk of the action scenes look like they were filmed in an industrial building somewhere, with all the railings, metal stairways and heavy machinery around. Oddly this same approach was used with greater realism in the update of Star Trek in 2009. But here, they just aren’t able to make the transition convincing. These folks are obviously running around a boiler room, not the high tech innards of a space ship. The scenes that don’t take place in the industrial settings look like typical spaceship interiors, not bad for the budget actually.

But the costumes, especially for the ladies are pretty horrible. Most of these aren’t flattering in the least, and have such garish colors (but so very 80s) that your eyes might burn out their sockets. Lea is the worst offender, but nearly everyone in the disco scene will is dressed, well, I’m at a loss for words. These are up there with the outfits used in Warrior of the Lost World. I also loved Ryder’s flight helmet, which I swear was something a neighbor of mine bought at Toys R Us, with its blinking LEDs and faceplate. You’ve also got some serious hair in this film. From Mohawks to mullets, nothing is left without hairspray.

Perhaps the silliest element of the interior scenes are the Enforcers, little golf carts covered with some kind of metal to make them look armored. The villains drive around in these and they look so comical that they lose all credibility. But the real cherry on the sundae occurs during the chase scenes with these little guys. It has to be seen to be believed.

You know on the face of it, the plot to Space Mutiny isn’t half bad. The struggles of the faithful crew against the mutineers could provide some tense moments, plenty of action and danger in the right hands. But we got two directors here, and rumor has it that neither of them liked the final result (and tried to get Alan Smithee credit). While action ends up being the main focus of the film in the second half, the poor dialogue ends up scuttling most of the tension (the acting choices don’t help either). Then you’ve got the Bellarians, half naked women writhing around who supposedly have some kind of supernatural power that comes into play at the end. But really it’s just an excuse to have half naked women writhing around. Sadly all their scenes are pointless and destroy the pacing by removing any tension present in the story.

But the real joy here is the acting. You’ve got some folks going all out, and others who are there for the paycheck. In the later is Cameron Mitchell as Commander Jansen. Saddled with a ridiculous looking beard and a silly looking robe, you get the feeling that Mitchell was counting the days till the shoot was over. He’s not wooden, but he doesn’t seem to put in much effort, or really grasp what his role in the story is.

On the other end is John Phillip Law, a veteran of these types of movies (he’s a darn good Sinbad in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad). He plays the evil Kalgan as a completely arrogant, megalomaniacal madman. This comes complete with an evil laugh, deranged eye popping and straining with so much fury that you’re afraid his neck cords are going to pop right out. It’s wonderfully over the top and more than a match for the protagonists.

Yes Reb Brown has also done his share of cheesy action films, and Space Mutiny is no exception. As Dave Ryder he pretty much has to look buff, throw people around and shout a lot. He does all of these with gusto, Whenever Brown is moving around kicking ass, he looks at home. But in the dialogue scenes we start to see some limitations. He flubs lines, gets a bit incoherent and shows little chemistry with Cisse Cameron (who he ended up marrying after the film).

Cisse Cameron as Lea seems to be having a blast. She gets into the role, from playing the outraged daughter to blasting away at mutineers with abandon. Her unfortunate wardrobe and dialogue doesn’t stop her either. You can tell she decided to just go for it, no matter how stupid the whole thing was. Go Cisse.

The whole movie is a mess, a big wonderful mess. Even without Mike and bots around to riff it, Space Mutiny would be a bad movie lover’s heaven. But the bad movie gods decreed that MST3K would tackle the film, and it was good.

Episode Review:  

Season eight of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ended with the three best episodes of the season. This is possibly one of the best episodes of the entire series run. I know, that’s saying a lot, but Mike and bots really make this already hilarious movie a whole lot funnier.

As the opening titles for Space Mutiny blaze across the screen looking like rejects from an old Atari game Tempest, the guys know they are in for a good one. They get on a roll with some of the names in the credits and the pace never slacks from there. The movie keeps gift-wrapping ludicrous moment upon ludicrous moment for them.

Perhaps the most memorable set of riffs comes when Dave Ryder first appears on screen. Mike and bots start coming up all kinds of outrageous names for the character including (but not exclusive to): Blast Hardcheese, Stump Chunkman, Slab Squatthrust and Big McLargehuge. Not only are the names creative but the timing of the delivery just makes each one funnier than the last. When the finale hits with Dave running around blasting away at villains and tossing them over railings, the nicknames come fast and furious.

Kalgan’s ranting and raving followed by his evil laugh cause the boys to snicker enough. But they really go to town on his lackeys, one who is dressed in red armor and they dub lobster boy. When Kalgan tries to lead his army of badly coifed evil doers in a final battle, the laughs really kick in. Kalgan screams, and strains and laughs so much that Mike and bots are pretty sure that the actor has flipped his lid.

Lea is pretty much a walking punch line. Her hideous wardrobe, which makes her look more like a space-whore instead of the daughter of the noble commander is the first big problem. Tom dubs her a “sexy senior citizen” because she looks quite a bit older than our protagonist (unfortunate make up and hair don’t help). Her first scenes have her coming across as shrill and annoying, but once she falls for our big rubbery hero, she starts vamping it up. The amazingly garish disco scene has her dancing provocatively or as Crow points out “presenting like a baboon”.

It would be impossible to really cover all the great riffing going on in Space Mutiny. The overwhelming 80s atmosphere to the whole film causing all kinds of jokes related to the Regan years. A continuity issue featuring a character killed appearing in the background of later scene causes quite a bit of confusion for Mike and the bots. There’s even a running gag with one of the bridge bunnies wandering around “collecting signatures for Sherry’s birthday card”, that delivers a pretty hilarious payoff. Then there’s all the jokes provided by the Bellarians and their writhing. When you boil it down, Space Mutiny is one of the best-riffed flicks the boys did.

The host segments are part of the Roman Empire world storyline. But things kick off with the bots complaining about Mike's archaic encyclopedias, which contain factoids like “Someday man may walk on the moon” and “In the future we may learn to harness fire, instead of hide in our caves from it”. On the planet Pearl, Observer and Professor Bobo are imprisoned by the angry empress Flavia. Pearl hatches a plan to have Mike distract Flavia (played by Mike’s wife Bridget). During the first break Mike attempts to enjoy some quiet time when the bots have a full blown space battle – with the only remaining escape pods! At the next break Crow is convinced he is a Bellarian. Turns out he’s just a freak. At the next break, Tom is inspired by all the railing kills to put up a bunch of railings around the ship. My favorite is the whisper quiet spinning spiked railing. When the movie ends, Pearl has Mike attempt to distract Flavia with a fake seduction. Mike fails utterly, but it’s enough for Pearl, Observer and Bobo to make their escape – but not before Bobo starts the famous fire of Rome.

Space Mutiny kicks off the triple threat. Followed by Time Chasers and the hilariously riffed Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, you have three of the best episodes of the series back to back. It is easily one of my favorites. And one of my favorite Internet reviewers, Alison Pregler (Obscurus Lupa) declares it her favorite episode of the series. So take it from folks who know cheesy good fun, Space Mutiny is one to watch.

I give it 5 Blast Hardcheeses out of five.

Here’s a treat,:  the final chase scene un-riffed. It gives you a taste of the wonders in store.

This episode is available on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume 4.