Summary:
Time for another dose of
Commander Cody (George Wallace) and his battle against The Radar Men from the Moon. When we last left Cody and his buddies
they were on the moon and in some serious peril as molten rock oozed toward
them. Luckily the heroes are able to escape to their rocket and return to
earth. Once there Cody and his pals put their heads together to determine how
to stop the radar men from completing their earthbound plans. This all climaxes
to a scene where Cody drives his car over a booby-trapped bridge that explodes
under him. Hence the title of this episode – The Bridge of Death.
In the feature film, Doctor
George Lorenz is evil because he is portrayed by Bela Lugosi. He lives in a
isolated house with a group of demented henchman (including a dwarf!). He and
his wife, the Countess (Elizabeth Russell) sleep in coffins. See, it doesn’t
get any more evil than that. Well actually it does.
Nosy reporter Patricia
Hunter (Luana Walters) is looking into a series of dead brides who all collapse
at the alter. She is convinced that it is not a coincidence. She starts to put
together the pieces and they point to Dr. Lorenz and his laboratory. With some
pointless help from the Countess’ medical doctor, Foster (Tristram Coffin)
Patricia finds herself about to crack the biggest new story of her carrier. But
can she be certain that the next corpse that vanishes won’t be her own?
Movie Review:
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| Pumpkin boy and lantern head in peril! |
So Radar Men from the Moon hurtles forward with more crazy escapes, fisticuffs
and gangsters working with moon men in a secret cave. In this episode the lunar
action only takes up about the first third. The rest of the story takes place
on earth, so some of the creativity we got from the previous episodes drops a
bit. The gangsters take center stage and their explosive plan reminded me of
something you’d see in the old Superman series
from the 1950s. Which isn’t too far from the fact since this was created in
1952.
As far as serials go, this
one has some entertaining moments, some silly moments and all in all meets the
basic entertainment needs. The reused footage of Cody flying around in his
rocket suit is good for some chuckles, and I love some of the oh-so-ripe
dialogue that permeates the series. This also contains the scene which had to
inspire the rant about serials in the film and book Misery. When I saw the car fall off the cliff I had to mumble, “He
didn’t get out of the caca-doody car!” The Bridge of Death episode
isn’t something special, but it makes for a good appetizer for the film to
follow.
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| Bela looms alarmingly. |
I’ve got to be honest and
say most of my exposure to Bela Lugosi is limited to his work with infamous
director Ed Wood Jr. You know films like Plan
9 From Outer Space and Bride of the
Monster. I have seen Dracula but
found it very dull and slow moving (especially compared to Frankenstein and The Mummy from
the same era). But Lugosi did a lot of work in 30s and 40s that folks seem to
like, so I’m willing to ignore stuff like ThePhantom Creeps (although he wasn’t bad in that serial). Truth be told,
Lugosi may be playing the same sinister role in The Corpse Vanishes but he does it pretty well.
I think the thing that works
with this film is that the character of Dr. Lorenz is driven by his love for
his wife, the Countess. From the start of the film, it is pretty darn obvious
he is at the heart of the plot to kill young women and abduct them. His goal is to suck the vitality from their body and place it into his ill wife.
The treatment works of course, and both become driven to keep her young and
alive. The Countess is a shrill disturbing woman, but we can sympathize a bit
with Lorenz. A good deal of that comes from Lugosi’s performance.
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| Wait, what am I doing in this movie again? |
In an interesting twist, our
hero is the dogged reporter Patricia Hunter. Luana Walters takes the stereotype
of the cub reporter and makes it work. She’s clever enough that you hope she
puts the pieces together. But she’s also annoying enough that you kinda hope
Lorenz scares her pretty good.
Of course The Corpse Vanishes was made in the
1940s, so you can’t have a female lead get in and out of peril on her own.
Enter Dr. Foster played by Tris Coffin. The part is underwritten, and really
feels like it was added at the last minute because someone realized they needed
a man to save Patricia. Coffin does what he can with the flat character, but he
doesn’t seem too invested in the role (can’t say I blame him). There isn’t much
chemistry between the two. So when the two start spouting lines about how
deeply in love they are and how they can’t wait for their marriage in the last
10 minutes of the film… well you’ll do a spit take if you’re drinking anything.
You have been warned. Don’t blame me for wet floors on this one.
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The cub reporter and the grumpy editor? Two
more cliches checked off the list. |
Atmosphere and pacing are
the name of the game here. For the most part the film moves along pretty well.
The creepy mansion where Lorenz lives is filled with shadowy hallways and macabre
lighting. His minions are sufficiently odd and disturbing. I especially like
his unsettling housekeeper played by Minerva Urecal. Her anger bubbles up
higher and higher and drives her to commit the final act murder. Also worth noting
is the ranting and raving newspaper editor Keenan played with gusto by Kenneth
Harlan. I’m telling you now that this performance inspired John Mahoney to rant
and rave in his role as editor and Chief in The Hudsucker Proxy. Hell, Patricia Hunter could have been the
inspiration for Amy Archer in that film as well.
But if you want to see a
film that really took inspiration from The
Corpse Vanishes then you really don’t need to look any further than the Ed
Wood masterpiece Bride of the Monster.
No, seriously they are almost the same film, but with a different driving force
behind them. Ed Wood had Lugosi’s mad man attempting to “create a race of
atomic supermen who would conquer the world”, instead of attempting to keep his
wife alive. But the story beats are the same. Mysterious events lead a cub
reporter to a creepy mansion. She meets Lugosi and interviews him. She’s
convinced he is involved but has no proof. So she joins forces with a dull man,
and together they kinda sorta put it all together.
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At least he isn't welcoming you to Fantasy
Island, right? |
The later film has that
outrageous Ed Wood touch that can’t be beat when it comes to bad movies. I
think Bride of the Monster is one of
his most entertaining films (not a good film by any means, but entertaining as
hell). The Corpse Vanishes is less
crazy, but I liked the angle of using the orchid to knock out the brides. And
director Wallace Fox does a better job of creating some building dread in his
film. So for creepy value The Corpse
Vanishes wins. Not to say it’s a scary movie, it’s not. But spooky
atmosphere was never something Wood really got right.
Eventually Joel and bots
would come face to face with Wood’s opus. But before that, they would face
Lugosi in their first season with The
Corpse Vanishes.
Episode Review:
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| He's only mostly dead. |
So we are, still in the
early portion of the first season of Mystery
Science Theater 3000 and it kinda shows. It was going to take another
couple episodes for the crew to really hit their Season One stride. So what you
get with The Corpse Vanishes is an
episode with some laughs, but not nearly as many as what you’ll find next
season, or hell even in any episode from Robot
Monster forward.
But lets take a look at what
we do have. First up is part three of Radar
Men from the Moon. Joel and the bots are still having a bit of fun with the
serial (although the writing crew admitted that the whole thing was starting to
wear thin for them at this point). But the level of energy in the riffing of
this serial is still pretty high, and it gives some of the best riffing the
episode.
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| Would you take orders from a guy dressed like that? |
Some of funniest riffs occur
when Cody and his pals make their escape from the moon and head toward earth.
Crow asks them to “mind the space cushion” as the rocket hurtles into the void.
Tom is puzzled by the remark and Crow replies, “It’s what they are sitting on.”
In a later shot Tom wants to know why earth has a shadow and Crow is concerned
that there are clouds just floating around in space. But I also like when Crow
and Tom give a full fashion commentary of Commando Cody’s outfit. And when Joel
asks if Cody ever lands on his head, to which Tom replies, “He’d stick like a
lawn dart!”
As is typical of Season One
episodes, the riffing during The Corpse
Vanishes is laid back and meandering. There are a lot of quiet moments
where the boys just watch the film and maybe chuckle a bit at what is going on.
But there are some funny quips to enjoy.
 |
| Essence of bride... with a twist of lime. |
When a concerned father of
the bride is confiding in his fears to the newspaper editor, he says, “My daughter
needs protection.” To which Tom replies, “Shouldn’t you have discussed that
before the wedding?” Later when Bela is extracting the vital essence of the
girl in his laboratory, Joel says in his best Lugosi imitation, “Now we can
have the rich taste of bride any time we need it.” To which Crow adds, “It’s
not just for breakfast any more.”
Most of the funnier moments in
The Corpse Vanishes occur in the
spooky mansion. A “secret” door allows the mad doctor’s hearse to enter
undetected. This door is opened by the hunchback servant, who the boys dub
Stanley after the garage door opener. Another secret door in a closet allows
Bela to sneak into a bedroom and stare menacingly at Luana. Tom tries his
Lugosi accent and says, “This is much better than my old door in the sock
drawer.”
One thing the boys avoid here is any jokes based on Lugosi's drug problems. They do hammer on those a bit in their riff of Bride of the Monster, and the gents at Rifftrax go even further in their riff on Plan 9 From Outer Space. It is rare that I feel they go too far, but Lugosi's drug issues were tragic and to use them in the riffing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially after seeing Ed Wood and how Tim Burton handled the issue. Anyway...
As the movie wraps with our
two protagonists tying the knot without a fear of mad doctors, Joel tells the
bots “Don’t cry guys, its not a real wedding. “ Crow replies with “It’s the
script that is upsetting us.”
 |
Sorry Joel, but I wouldn't trust Crow with sharp
objects. |
Like most of the early host
segments you get some funny moments and some just plain oddball ones. The invention
exchange starts with Joel showing off his chiro-gyro, a device to twist your
head around for some at home chiropractic action. The mad scientists show off their
flame thrower boutonniere. The first break has the bots chatting about the
latest issue of the magazine Tigerbot,
which features a full schematic of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. The next break has Joel and the
bots playing tag. It’s pretty silly. When we next join them, Joel is letting
Crow give him a haircut, while Tom peruses Tigerbot
some more. Crow’s banter gets stranger and stranger, ending up with a clown car
crash. When the movie ends, Joel challenges the bots to think of one good thing
and one bad thing from the movie. Tom tries to think of one good thing… but his
head explodes (and not for the last time).
All in all, The Corpse Vanishes isn’t a horrible
film, and it offers enough for the boys to riff on. But the slow pace of the
riffing is the detriment here. The frantic pacing of Radar Men From the Moon helps the riffing there move a lot faster.
As a result the episode starts out fairly strong, but peters out before the
end. Like all my season one reviews, I’ll rate this as compared to other
episodes this season, but I’d deduct one point when compared to any other
episode from season 2 forward.
 |
Either he's been stabbed or just heard he's playing
Karloff's sidekick. |
I give it 3 poisonous
orchids out of five.
This episode is available on
the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume
XVI.
