Tuesday, January 30, 2018

The Monkey King (2014)

Introduction:

When I wrote my review of Jack Frost for this blog I came to the realization that movies about folklore and myth don’t always translate well to other countries. In the case of Jack Frost much of that film feels goofy, chaotic and over the top. So when I heard the reception of North American film fans to the movie based off the Chinese legend called Journey to the West, I figured it was the same deal. But then I saw some screen captures of Donnie Yen in his makeup and I was disturbed but intrigued. I had to find out if The Monkey King was as scary looking as those pics hinted.

Summary:

Ok folks, strap in, because a lot of stuff happens in this movie and it is hard to condense down. The movie kicks off with a battle between the forces of heaven and hell! The Jade Emperor (Chow Yun-Fat) leads the heavenly host against the Bull Demon King (Aaron Kwok). Much of heaven is bashed up and destroyed in the process, but the Jade Emperor is able to overcome the forces of darkness and he banishes them to a fiery hell mountain. The Goddess Nuwa (Zhang Zilin) transforms her body into crystals that magically restore heaven, but she ceases to exist.

One of the magical crystals crashes into Mount Huaguo. From the crystal emerges a monkey imbued with all the power of an immortal. He is trained in martial arts and magic and soon declares himself The Monkey King. But Sun Wukong is a monkey with a lot of attitude and soon he begins messing up earth and heaven in his efforts to make himself more powerful. Wukong does all these things to help his fellow monkeys and the pretty silver fox, Ruxue (Xia Zitong). But the Bull Demon King figures out that he can use Wukong’s power to breach the gates of heaven and take another stab at destroying the Jade Emperor. So he uses flattery and deceit to corrupt Wukong. This leads to another epic battle between heaven and hell. But does the Jade Emperor have any hope against the power of The Monkey King?

Good Points:
  • Donnie Yen captures the mercurial character of Sun Wukong
  • Aaron Kwok gives the Bull Demon King a bit of gravitas
  • Christopher Young’s score is one of his best

Bad Points:
  • The visuals do not mesh and are very distracting
  • So much going on in this story that the characters suffer
  • Missing some transitions so those not familiar with the story may find it confusing

Overall:

When you have source material this colorful and exciting it can be hard to know where and how to approach it. This movie doesn’t pull it off very well. Visually it clashes with itself and you end up focusing on the oddness of the whole thing and ignoring the story and characters. Sadly the characters are thin archetypes and not given too much time to be fleshed out. Some solid performances and a wonderful fantasy score by Christopher Young help carry the movie along. In the end it overstays its welcome, but remains entertaining – if the makeup for Sun Wukong doesn’t give you nightmares.

Scores (out of 5)
Visuals: 2
Sound: 3
Acting: 4
Script: 3
Music: 5
Direction: 3
Entertainment: 3
Total:  3

In Depth Review

Surprised and delighted by his antics?
This movie is not the train wreck I expecting. But it isn’t all that great either. If you approach it with the right expectations you will probably have a good time with it. While watching The Monkey King I wondered why the hell this wasn’t turned into an animated series with a big budget. All the issues I have with the film could be solved with dropping the live action and giving the characters more room to breathe. Journey to the West is a wonderful mythical story and you can do so much with it. I know a lot of time and money was spent on this movie, I can see why people were expecting more.

The thing is Journey to the West has been adapted many, many times over the years. There have been direct adaptations for television, animation and video games. Some are from China, but I’ve seen just as many from Japan. Heck one of the most popular anime series of the 1990s, Dragonball Z takes inspiration from Journey to the West. Sun Wukong is a character that resonates through much of Asian culture in one form or the other.

This is why I think that all hype I saw comparing The Monkey King to Lord of the Rings actually did more harm than good. The Lord of the Rings films grounded themselves in a reality. They had dirt and grime in them. They felt tied to our reality in a way that The Monkey King is not interested in tackling. If you go in expecting to see something like Lord of the Rings or god forbid Game of Thrones you are going to be deeply disappointed in The Monkey King.

I hope this goes better than it did with The Bride.
Actually this film reminds me of the Star Wars prequels. I know, I know, that doesn’t inspire much confidence either. But both stories had huge scope to them, and required massive amounts of green screen and CG effects to bring the tales to life. Both films focused on a main character who isn’t terribly likable, but rises and falls as the story progresses. We see this character being twisted by his enemies using his love against him. In the end, both tales hint at redemption and hope in some way. So really The Monkey King is the prequel to the true tale of Journey to the West where Sun Wukong travels on a journey of enlightenment.

I don't care who you are, I'm not listening to anyone
wearing that hat.
But to be enlightened, you have to start off as an unenlightened jerk, and so we have the main story told in this film. Looking at it that way, you understand why Donnie Yen plays Wukong the way he does. You have to have a way for the character to progress and since this is a planned trilogy of films, it makes sense that we see Wukong at his most childish and self-centered in The Monkey King. Yen gives an animated performance, mixing in monkey-like gestures, movement and expressions with a childlike exuberance. I can see how some folks are going to find his performance to be too over the top, but I think it actually fit this character. Wukong is governed by his emotions, and to have them so bombastic allows us to see how powerful they really are. It is because he loves so deeply that he turns so harshly against the Jade Emperor. Yes, the makeup does come across as creepy at times especially combined with the enthusiastic performance, and it is something that ends up distracting the viewer.

Putting the KONG back in Sun Wukong
But if we only had the performance to worry about than I wouldn’t have scored this all that low. Unfortunately we also have to deal with the scenes involving 90% green screen work. The story about wars in heaven is going to demand a massive amount of visual effects. Sadly the sheer volume of effects required obviously impacted the final look. Much of what you end up seeing lacks detail. Accurate shadows and light are missing, and it gives everything a very video gamey look. But I’m not talking about modern video games. There are scenes that look like cutscenes from Playstation 2 era of graphics. If the whole film had this visual look, it might have been acceptable.

Unfortunately there are some really solid sets used in the film, like Mount Huaguo. You also have the detailed costumes that nearly every character is wearing. Suddenly these purely CG backgrounds and effects look even more dated and less convincing. There are also plenty of scenes where characters are performing impossible feats, and everything on the screen is animated. Once again you feel like you are playing a video game of The Monkey King and not watching a film featuring some of China’s finest actors.

Yes, I am very fabulous.
That is another gripe I see leveled at the film, and it is a legitimate one. You have some cast members, including Donnie Yen, who are excellent martial artists. And you pack the movie full of impossible over the top combat moments. This means you end up with battles of CG versions of Donnie Yen and Chow Yun Fat, when you know these guys could actually be doing real full-blown action scenes. It is really disappointing. Yen does get a couple of scenes to show his skills, but there is still plenty of CG involved and it really reduces the impact.

Is she about to run into the Big Bad Bull?
But let’s be honest here, the goal of The Monkey King isn’t martial arts action. It is to tell a fun adventure story pulled from a familiar mythic text. Here too the film doesn’t really succeed. The most developed character is Sun Wukong, which makes sense. But even he feels a bit flat. The movie spends a lot of time on his antics and silliness, but doesn’t really flesh him out too much. We get a sense that he wants to care for his monkey people, but the movie doesn’t take enough time to sell it. We end up getting a flashback to a silly scene that is heartwarming, but feels slapped in there. A little better is his relationship to Silver Fox. The cute scene they share watching the sunrise is nice, and we feel bad that she is basically duped by the Bull Demon King. She is more sympathetic than Wukong ever is.

At home with the Bull Demon family.
The movie also moves at breakneck speed, attempting to cram in all these moments and plot points. As a result there are some missing transitions. Suddenly characters are in different places, or a character appears and we weren’t even sure where they came from. I’m familiar with the story already, so I didn’t get too confused. But it did feel choppy and just unpolished in places. The movie is long, and you feel it because of all the plot crammed in there. That is the main reason I think The Monkey King should have gone with animated television series with big name Chinese voice actors instead. This movie could have easily been a single season.

I did like a few things about the film. Visually it is bright colorful and unashamed of just going for full-blown spectacle time and again. I admire that (even if it never really pulls it off). It is nice to see a fantasy film delving into a full fantasy look and eschewing the gritty dirty look that Lord of the Rings initiated and has plagued fantasy films, games and television series in Hollywood ever since. This movie looks like it could be a visual adaptation of an anime at times. It isn’t as effective as Speed Racer, but it gets points for committing to the look.

Looming alarmingly.
I also thought that Aaron Kwok did a really good job with the antagonist. Instead of making him a simple mustache twirling over the top villain he keeps the Bull Demon King cool. Seriously, this guy is calm, methodical and burning with hatred for the Jade Emperor, but it simmers down deep in the eyes. It is a nice contrast to Yen’s energy, and when the Bull turns into the calm advisor for Wukong Kwok’s performance makes it all work. The movie also gives him a little bit more to care about, in the form of his lover Princess Iron Fan (Joe Chen). In the end I was actually cheering for the Bull Demon King to kick some ass by the end, and that is mostly based on Kwok’s charisma in the role.

Just as entertaining is the score by Christopher Young. Young is best known for his wonderful work in horror film scoring. But let me tell you, this man is versatile and can compose powerful music for dramas, jazzy snazzy music for spy parodies, and hard hitting action music. For years I’d hoped that Young would get the chance to score an epic fantasy or science fiction adventure. Finally he gets the chance with The Monkey King. Not only was this a full-blown fantasy film, but the creators wanted the music to be big and powerful. With Hollywood trending for lower key and moody music of late, Young jumped at the opportunity to craft his own multi-thematic fantasy adventure score.

Don't tell them that foxes and monkeys can't fly.
If there is any element you could compare to Lord of the Rings it would be Young’s score to The Monkey King. It has all the emotion and power and thrills you want. Young not only takes the fantasy playbook from Hollywood, but he combines it with Chinese instrumentation and style. The result is an amazing hybrid score that is clearly from Christopher Young, but also doesn’t sound like anything else he’s ever attempted. In the film, Young’s music ends up carrying some of the power, because the visuals end up falling so flat. Most of the time it is perfect combination, and you can tell Young had a blast with this score. A few times Yen’s enthusiastic performance combines with the big music and makes it a little bit too much. But I can forgive this a little bit since the music is so good. In the end Christopher Young ended up composing one of his best scores for The Monkey King, and that is saying something, because I have yet to come across a Young score I don’t like.

The Monkey King’s production didn’t go smoothly, and there were some casting changes and other issues along the way. I get the feeling that this impacted the final product (just like it did in Rogue One). The film is plot heavy and rushes along so fast that you never connect with the characters. I’m sure someone familiar with the story can fill in the blanks, but for viewers new to the saga it can feel disjointed and messy.

I'm in charge dammit. Look at this hat!
It does remind me quite a bit of Sadko (also known as The Magic Voyage of Sinbad in the west), where the attempt to bring a well known mythic tale from one culture to the next turns it into a kaleidoscope of bizarre imagery, random story elements and overall bafflement from the audience. But really only from an audience that wasn’t the target of the original. Sadko may feel like jaw dropping insanity in its heavily edited and poorly dubbed form, but it was an award winning film in Europe and Russia. The Monkey King didn’t suffer the indignity of a chopped up and dubbed North American release, so that is a good thing. And to be honest while the film a mega-hit in China, there was still disappointment about the final result.

I enjoyed watching The Monkey King. Yeah it has some bizarre and sometimes disturbing visuals because of the makeup and enthusiasm of Donnie Yen’s acting. Yeah some of the large scale moments clash with their CG and live action elements, and create some unintentionally funny visuals. But I like the tale being told. I liked the character of Sun Wukong and his journey is one worth watching. I loved the enthusiasm of the whole endeavor. The move is going for big flashy fun, and it succeeds quite often. I’m glad I watched it and got to experience Christopher Young’s score in context (because being a film score nerd, that was the main reason I had this in my Netflix cue).

That said, The Monkey King is only the set up for the true Journey to the West. In 2016 that journey started with The Monkey King 2 and word is that film makes some needed improvements that give it quite a boost. I’m looking forward to watching that one next.


Peering into the future of The Monkey King 2?

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Friday, January 26, 2018

Score Sample: The Monkey King (2014)

Time for another score sample from Christopher Young. I know this wasn't posted in October, when I usually post Mr. Young's excellent horror scores. But I wanted to demonstrate just how versatile Christopher Young is when it comes to film music.

For a long time film score fans have lamented that Young has never really had a chance to score a big budget science fiction or fantasy epic. The guy has all the skills required, but lately he's been sticking to horror, dramas and thrillers. His music remains excellent, but those of us who love colorful bombast just wanted a bit more.

In 2014 Young got the chance when he was approached by Chinese studios to score their three part epic mythic films around The Monkey King. Young jumped at the chance and crafted what may be his best film score yet. When the album was release Young personally crafted suites for all the main characters in the film, creating an excellent listening experience. It is really hard to just pick one, but here is the suite for the main character Sun Wukong also known as The Monkey King.


Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Anime Juke Box - Truth - Revolutionary Girl Utena

Ready for some more J-pop? This time I dig back into the 1990s with one of the most creative and unique anime series I'd seen: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I really need to write up a review or three for this series and its bizarre film.

One of the most striking things about the series is the music, which combines wonderful orchestral moments with full blown 70s style rock opera. I sampled one of the rock opera bits before, but today I'm taking a look at the end title piece from the first season. It's still got the wailing guitars, the full throated female singer and a disco backbeat - all things that Utena has in spades. One of my favorite end credits pieces from 1990s anime here is Truth performed by Luca Yumi. And yes she is saying "Kissing love and true your heart." Because why the hell not.


Friday, January 5, 2018

Nostalgia Nugget: Looking Back at 2017

Peering into the future of 2018?
It is time to take a look back at 2017 and a glimpse into 2018. I feel I did a pretty good job providing weekly fresh content on the site. I ended up focusing a bit more on certain themes over the months, and had a lot of fun. I also ran a few series through 2017 and helped shake up the mix a bit.

I started my Goldsmith Award series of Movie Music Musings. These focused on poorly reviewed or received films with great scores. I kicked this off in January with 2016 and ran it to July with 2011. I might pick it up this year, as it was fun to see what films bombed those years and how great some of the music really was.

February I focused on Robotech. It was a lot of fun revisiting and really digging into that series. It was probably the most anime heavy month of the year. I went pretty light with animation in general. I didn’t even get in a MIyzakii movie review in this year, and I had Kiki’s Delivery Service all lined up to watch, but just never got around to it.

Getting Season 11 started.
Instead I ended up focusing a lot of writing on Season 11 of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is a great time to be a fan of the movie riffing puppet show. We got a new season, we got a live show and people were excited about both. I was doing pretty good reviewing a new episode from season 11 each month… until October when everything went nutty. Still have Season 12 to look forward to in the not too distant future, so I better get my reviews for Season 11 wrapped.

I turned May into a Star Wars focused month again. That was mostly focusing on musings and nostalgia. I delivered a full review of RogueOne out in December. I did see The Last Jedi, but I want another viewing at home before I write that review. It will appear on the blog in 2018 for sure.

Facing the uncertain future.
A big surprise to me was actually writing about current movies in the month of their theatrical release. War for the Planet of the Apes and Blade Runner 2049 both got reviews shortly after I watched them in theaters. Both were excellent science fiction films, and the Apes film in particular felt like a wonderful triumph of a series. I spent three posts gushing about it in many aspects and don’t regret a single word.

While I did miss out on writing about Miyazaki I did manage to write a new 007 review. It had been a while since I revisted the series for the blog, but I finally wrapped up the 1960s films with You Only Live Twice. I also finally got around to writing about one of my favorite directors David Lynch, as I took an in depth look at Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, one if his darkest and most disturbing films. I hope to continue looking at delving a bit deeper into these waters in 2018.

Is it time to move beyond these reboots?
I had to give Star Trek some blog time as well and September was pretty Trek heavy with a deep dive into Insurrection and looking at music and the films from a wider angle. I’m creeping my way through the Star Trek films and need to give Beyond another view before I write about it. I’m not sure how I feel about that film after my first viewing.

I stuck with the horror film focus in October and once again had a lot of fun with the short reviews and some dives into different aspects of the genre. I had a blast writing about Subspecies II in which I delved far deeper into the film than it perhaps deserved.

November is usually reserved for all MST3K all the time, but this year I shook things up a bit by focusing on cheesy 1980s fantasy films. This was so much fun to write and watch, I might do it again next year. I finally got a review of Hawk The Slayer up, something I’ve wanted to do for years.

Game on!
About that time something happened that changed the course for this blog. While doing all this research on Dungeons and Dragons for the Barbarian Age blog post, I discovered that the Role Playing Game was alive and thriving online. The more research I did the more I realized that I missed writing and storytelling from this perspective.

Long story short, I’m actually playing D&D again. The game has changed quite a bit since when I last played in the early 1990s. It focuses a lot more on storytelling and characters – which means you end up writing all this material for the character you are playing. To be honest all that writing is going to eat up the writing time I can spend on the movie blog.

Soon... soon.
So 2018 is probably going to be a lighter year for this blog. I’ll keep posting things each month, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up the weekly schedule. I’m thinking there will be fewer deep dive reviews. Instead I’ll focus on the shorter reviews and more editorial blog posts that don’t require quite as many screen captures and editing.

That said, I’m going to be writing some new material for my other blog Storytelling in All Its Forms, focusing more on my D&D experience and how that works out. I can say I’m currently playing two different campaigns and I’m really enjoying the experience.

Thank you so much for reading my work in 2017 and commenting. I really appreciate it and all the encouragement you’ve provided this year. If you have any suggestions or films you’d like to have me review, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I’ll be happy to give it a try.


Hope you had a great year, and that 2018 is even better.

Friday, December 22, 2017

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t (1966) – MST3K Review

Summary:

When your name is Phineas T. Prune (Rossano Brazzi) then I suppose you are entitled to hate everything and everyone. Turns out that Mr. Prune does hate children and anyone that gives them joy. This puts Santa Claus (Alberto Rabagliati) on his hit list. Prune has amassed incredible wealth and ended up buying all of the North Pole! Now he is Santa’s landlord, and Prune is going to evict the kindly old man if he can’t pay the rent. We all know that Santa doesn’t make any money for his endeavors, so he is looking at an eviction notice.

In desperation Santa turns to the only boy in the world who ever wrote him a Thank You note: Sam Whipple (Paul Tripp). Now a grown up lawyer, Sam may have the skills to help Santa out. Sam journeys to the North Pole and meets Mrs. Claus (Lidia Brazzi), the eccentric Jonathan (Mischa Auer) and a whole mess of elves. He crafts a plan to get Santa the money and pay off Mr. Prune. But once Prune gets wind of this plan he and his butler Blossom (John Karlsen) attempt to thwart Sam and Santa. Will we ever find out why Mr. Prune hates everyone so much? Will Sam be able to save the day so we can all remember this as The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t?

Movie Review:

Don't get used to smiling Santa. 
When it comes to Christmas movies you have a few elements that are necessary to make the whole thing work. You need to deliver the overall feeling of joy and good cheer. Even movies like It’s a Wonderful Life that dwell in despair and darkness, do it to build to a triumphant ending. You need a touch of whimsy or magic to add to the feel of the season. And if you are going to include Santa Claus in your story, well you’ll need to crank that whimsy up to 11.

Sadly few Santa Claus themed films seem to get the mixture right. Most are too sweet and silly for adults to enjoy. Some take the concept of magic and whimsy and go into the strange and bizarre. And yes I’m looking directly at SantaClaus and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. But then you get The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t. I’m not sure if they were trying to avoid over egging the pudding, or if they just threw in all the popular Christmas film tropes into a blender and hit puree. The result is a discombobulated mess that is more tedious than fun.

Let’s look at the basic plot. Santa is threatened by has landlord and hires a lawyer. Seriously. Does that sound fun and delightful? Does that sound like it can inspire a sleigh ride full of magic and joy? No. It sounds drab and bizarre - which describes this film. This may be an attempt to make Santa’s plight more relatable to the audience, or a way to keep the budget controllable (because it becomes pretty obvious that there wasn’t a lot of money to go around). But with this uninspired core to the story, you know you are in for a weak film.

Prune even dresses dastardly.
Looking at specific plot points you begin to see where other Christmas classics were stitched together to create the monster known as The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t. Mr. Prune is essentially Ebenezer Scrooge and goes through the same transformation at the end of the story. Santa ends up working as a department store Santa mimicking the vastly superior Miracle on 34th Street. They even rip off specific beats from the older movie including the little girl pulling on Santa’s beard. And then the ending directly cribs from It’s a Wonderful Life where all the kids who love Santa band together and bring him money in huge heaps so he can pay off Mr. Prune. It really feels like the writers thought that if they just threw together a bunch of memorable moments from other films and stitched them around a Santa related film, they would have a winner.

They were wrong.

Meet the Clauses.
The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t is doomed from the start because of that dull core story. Then you have all other trappings that sink the whole thing. Visually the movie feels drab and lifeless. The brightest moments occur in the Primm’s Department Store, and they are like a breath of fresh air. Most of the film occurs in darkened streets, oppressive rooms with dark lighting and cramped quarters. Santa’s home and workshop at the North Pole are woefully unimpressive. The workshop is one tiny room crammed with elves and toys. Santa’s home is essentially a one-room cottage that looks like something from a Grimm’s fairytale. Compare this to the visuals on display in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians which also had obvious budget constraints, but they were able to do so much more. There was a real sense of fun and whimsy in that film that The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t just can’t compare too. And lets not even talk about the jaw dropping spectacle of the Mexican Santa Claus film, because that movie is on whimsy overload (and I love every minute of it).

So you have depressing visuals and almost no hint of magic or fun. Even the montage of Santa delivering gifts is a series of blurry stills over perky music trying to convey a sense of excitement. Instead it reminds you of an out of focus travel slide show playing mall holiday music. It is its own brand of depressing.

This relationship is all kinds of creepy.
One area where the film does manage to cobble together some kind of energy is with the performances. Just about everyone in The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t is playing broad. They are in a musical after all (I’ll get to the songs in a minute) and this is the 1960s, so you have to overact constantly. That is one of the reasons I really don’t like musical films of that era. But at least the cast is putting in the effort. Rossano Brazzi is actually pretty despicable as Phineas T. Prune. He is a classic mustache-twirling villain who is mean to everyone and growls out his lines with gusto. It is easy to dislike this character, which is what the film expects us to do. I also think that Lidia Brazzi as Mrs. Claus does a good job giving this side character a bit more personality and warmth that is lacking in the film.

Ah yes, this is how we see Santa in 90% of the film.
But the rest of the cast is much less engaging. Alberto Rabagliati brings us a down in the dumps, befuddled and depressed Santa Claus. I don’t want to say that the actor isn’t effective, because he really is. Each time Santa is on the screen you feel his depression coming off the screen in waves. This all comes from the script that has “the jolly old elf” deliver lines about hopelessness and despair. Again, I think they were looking at Miracle on 34th Street as inspiration. Near the end of that film Kris Kringle loses his faith in the world and ends up in an asylum. But in this sequence Kris is more disappointed and bitter. There is anger in him that simmers. It fits with the character we’ve seen and understand Santa to be. And it is short sequence before Kris realizes that he is feeling sorry for himself, and he can’t give up the fight. Contrast this to Santa in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t and you have a man who is already defeated, and given up. It makes Santa pathetic, not a hero to be cheered on. It only adds to the completely anti-whimsy tone of the film.

Riddle me this, what is red and white and depressed
all over?
It is quite possible that they were relying on Paul Tripp as Mr. Whipple to provide all the joy and happiness in the film. Tripp overplays his hand, giving us this impish grin constantly. I think it is supposed to convey his delight at working with Santa Claus and show that he is still a child at heart. But it has the opposite effect. He capers around like a child, grins like a madman and comes across as completely incompetent and ineffectual as a lawyer. Again, compare this to Miracle on 34th Street and Fred Gailey played by John Payne. Gailey comes across as a generous man with a big heart. He feels bad for Kris and steps up to defend him, not because he really believes he is Santa Claus, but because he believes in everything Kris stands for. It is much more nuanced approach and one that allows Gailey to still come across as a competent lawyer and really make that final courtroom scene work. Damn, now I want to watch the 1947 film again instead of writing about this rubbish. In any case Tripp’s performance is nonsensical and grating. It seems to escalate as the film goes along, until he is grinning like an imp from hell and I keep expecting to see Pitch from Santa Claus to show up and try to recruit him.

Um... yeah... this also happens.
The other performances are just as odd. Sonny Fox plays the department store owner Mr. Primm with an elitist snarl. Blossom the butler seems to have walked in from a really stupid horror comedy. His relationship with Mr. Prune is just plain bizarre and unsettling. And then there is Jonathon the Elf Foreman played by Mischa Auer. I’m not sure whose idea it was to have this gangly old man hanging out with the little people and looming over the bookkeeping, but it feels off, like a fever dream. The scene where he stands with his legs wide apart and has the elves duck under his crotch to enter the toyshop is just plain WRONG!

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t is also a musical of sorts. And wow… just… wow. I’m not sure if MST3K did some editing here, or if the songs were this half assed, but it seems like they rarely pass much beyond two choruses before petering out. I guess this is a good thing, since at their best they are not catchy and just take up time with the characters mugging at the screen. At the worst they are aggressively annoying and do nothing to further the story. The worst of the lot is when Jonathon the Elf Forman decides to sing about looking for the name Prune in his records. As he and the elves pull books off shelves he babbles on and on about the name Prune. It isn’t cute, or fun or entertaining. I was just shocked at how god-awful it was. Where is Krampus when you need him?

The dreaded "Prune" song never seems to end.
The music itself isn’t anything too interesting. It has that touch of whimsy that you expect, and the 1960s golden age sound. You get to focus on it a bit during two montages. One occurs in Primm’s department store as Whipple and Santa gad about with the toys and make hideous laughing faces at each other. The music doesn’t so much as add to the scenes as turn them into super sugary dollops of over acted cuteness. The other occurs when Santa delivers presents in a series of blurry still frames. This is supposed to be fun, but the lack of motion and even some of the expressions on the actor’s faces makes you feel otherwise. At least the music tries.

And that is why I feel a little bad about coming down so hard on The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t. I can tell the creators were trying to make a fun delightful family film with a small budget. They understood the types of ingredients that could make this a holiday classic, but continued to make choices that just turned it into something that is probably best forgotten. Even if I caught this as a kid, I would have probably been bored with it. But alas, I caught this as an adult. Let’s see of Jonah and the bots help make this go down a little easier with some egg nog.

Episode Review:

Jonah and the bots have a very special gift for you.
When Joel announced that one of the rewards for meeting the stretch goal for the Kickstarter to bring back Mystery Science Theater 3000 would be a Christmas movie episode, I was pumped. Some of my favorite episodes revolve around riffing on the bizarre and magical world of holiday films. There were plenty of great choices out there for the crew to pick from, so I was really looking forward this episode, even though I had never heard of The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t.

Well, let me amend that statement. I had heard of the film before. Joel actually mentions it during a host segment in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The name by itself just sounds goofy. I figured it was a poor made for television movie and would have the feel of a holiday themed San Francisco International. I was wrong on all counts. What I got was this badly dubbed, musical that was dreary from the first frame of low budget animation in the title sequence.

Santa looks a little tipsy. Should he be driving?
Now, dreary has never stopped Mystery Science Theater before. Season six is packed to the gills with slow and dreary episodes. But Mike, Kevin and Trace were at the top of their game and able to tackle things like The Beast of Yucca Flats and The Starfighters with great skill. But the thing is, the crew for season eleven is much less seasoned and they were coming to the end of their run. They did an Ok job with something like The Beast of Hollow Mountain. Sad to say, I think it impacted the riffing on this episode.

The boys do pick up on how odd the whole concept of the movie is and how strangely Santa is portrayed. At one point Jonah comments, “I never thought I’d get to see a Christmas film where Santa hits rock bottom.” Later when Santa frets about meeting kids while they are awake, Tom gasps, “How did we end up with a Santa with extreme anxiety disorder?” They come to the conclusion that “Giving Santa a lawyer sucks all the whimsy out of this movie.”

"Pamplona's running of the kids!"
Speaking of the lawyer Whipple he is the source of a running joke in The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t. When Tripp starts grinning directly at the camera the boys are disturbed. When Whipple puts on a bowler hat, Jonah does a pretty good Frank Gorshin in full Riddler mode and says “Now its time to kill the Batman!” But most of the time, his childish glee at everything Santa does fuels the boys saying “I’m a widdle baby!” or related baby references. I see what they are trying to do here, and certainly Tripp is playing the part with a bit too much gusto, but for some reason the “widdle baby” riffs just don’t land for me. And the boys really hammer them down (and use it as a base for the host segment later). Running gags are always dangerous, and in this case, the baby jibes just didn’t’ tickle me.

Luckily there are other moments that were really funny. Primm’s department store is packed with disturbing looking stuffed animals, and the boys riff a bunch of them. The moment when the elves have to pass under Jonathon’s crotch is a gift for riffing and they don’t miss the opportunity. At the end of the film when Prune is filled with Christmas joy the boys run down a list of all the 80s toys he missed out on. It is a fun mix of nostalgia and laughs.

Jonah and the bots are misfit elves with misfit toys.
The host segments are a mix of holiday cheer and elements inspired by the film. The episode starts with Jonah and the bots trying to sing a carol. It goes wrong. Before the invention exchange Kinga mentions her impending marriage to Jonah, which he is still not comfortable with. Jonah shows off his re-gifter box. Essentially it is a wrapped box you can just pass along to someone so they can use it next year. Kinga and Max have Humbug FM, the anti-holiday music channel that plays nothing but horrifying sounds. “It will X out X-mas” Kinga declares. At the first break, Jonah and the bots critique the odd wooden toys that always end up every Santa related Christmas film. Their cynical modern perspective on the wooden toy soldier, rocking horse and jack-in-the-box is pretty amusing. At the next break the boys try to explain away all the creepy stuffed animals in Primm’s department store. They come up with some funny back stories, but the horror overwhelms them. When we break again Santa arrives at the SOL and quickly proves to be even stranger than the one in the film. Widdle Baby Whipple is still with him and as annoying as ever. Joel gives it a solid try as Santa, but I have to say that Kevin nailed it in his brief appearance in Santa Claus. After the film ends, Jonah and the bots are caught in a badly filtered montage of joy, just like the characters in the movie. When we cut to Kinga and Max, they are also stuck in montage mode and seemed very confused by it. I was laughing pretty hard at the end.

Upon this night Prune was listed by three ghosts...
I’m going to be honest here and say after I watched The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t the first time, I was really disappointed. The film is so dreary and the riffing feels off. All the “widdle baby” jokes just failed to land. It was the weakest episode of Season 11 by far. And I still feel that way. But knowing how bad the film is helped me appreciate it for the second viewing. It has plenty of entertaining moments for sure, and is worth revisiting. But sadly it is the weakest holiday offering from MST3K.

I give it two elf head-butts to the crotch out of five.


This episode is available on Netflix download.

"Whatever you do, don't insult that polar bear behind you.
He's killed three mall Santa's this year!"

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

And Then This Happened... The Christmas That Almost Wasn't

Even for the best of us, work can get a bit dull. Especially when you are working on boring spreadsheets. But what happens when you are a right jolly old elf that has been working in a toyshop for centuries. You'd think all the joy and whimsey would keep you going. But maybe, just maybe it all gets too much.

Or maybe you're just stuck in a crappy Christmas movie like The Christmas That Almost Wasn't. Because that would explain why these elves look like they just watched the film they are staring in. Or maybe there is something more sinister going on. In any case, I think it may be time to caption this moment with our height challenged friends here.

And then this happened...


Friday, December 15, 2017

Star Wars: Rogue One (2016)

Introduction:

I’ve mentioned before that back in the 1990s I was a hard-core Star Wars fan. Yeah the prequels ended up killing some of that enthusiasm, but I still enjoy movies and shows set in the universe. There are plenty of stories to tell. What is interesting is that back in the mid 90s there was an experiment by Lucasfilm to see if folks were interested in non-film Star Wars events. Shadows of the Empire turned out to be a moderate success, and we were promised more (that idea got scuttled when the prequels were announced). I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these turned into the script for Rogue One.

Summary:

Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) is the daughter of a famed Imperial scientist Galen Erso (Mads Mikkelsen). When she was a child the Empire abducted her father after he tried to escape their clutches. Jyn’s mother was killed and Jyn was found and raised by revolutionary Saw Gerrera (Forest Whitaker). Jump forward a few years and Jyn is a convict on an Imperial work moon. Luckily her life is about to take a different path.

The rebellion springs Jyn in the hopes that they can meet with the notoriously paranoid Gerrera and find out if the rumors of an Imperial super weapon are true. Gerrera has obtained a defecting imperial pilot Bodhi Rook (Riz Ahmed) who says Galen sent him. And so the adventure begins with Jyn joining forces with a motley crew. There is Cassian (Deigo Luna) a cynical battle hardened Rebel agent. K-2SO (Alan Tudyk) a reprogrammed Imperial droid with a chip on his shoulder. Chirrut (Donnie Yen) a Guardian of the Whills, a type of monastic order that treat the Jedi teachings as a sort of religion. There is also his protector the world weary Baze (Wen Jiang) who’s heavy weapon skills will no doubt come in handy. They will find themselves facing the might of the Empire lead by Director Krennic (Ben Mendelsohn) a man out to prove to Darth Vader that he is worthy of praise. But will the Rogue One mission be a success, or a dismal failure.

Good Points:
  • The last half of the film is top-notch Star Wars style action and adventure
  • Alan Tudyk makes K-2SO the best character in the film
  • Really liked seeing this a return to this era of the universe

Bad Points:
  • The script is a mess
  • Most of the characters are not very compelling
  • The pacing in the first half is really off

Overall:

Well here we have a completely middle of the road Star Wars film. When it comes to action and immersion in the universe the film hits all the right moments. Some solid acting also helps carry us past the fairly flat characters. Unfortunately the film feels messy with uneven pacing in the first half and some odd character motivations that don’t feel earned. It is solid entertainment as it is, but I see a much better film buried inside it and that is a disappointment.

Scores (out of 5)
Visuals: 4
Sound: 5
Acting: 4
Script: 2
Music: 4
Direction: 4
Entertainment: 3
Total:  3

In Depth Review

Beach Party, Star Wars style.
When Disney announced that they were going to explore other facets of the Star Wars universe in films, I was curious about the idea. There were so many avenues to take the concept. Then they told us a little about Rogue One and I was really interested.

First off, before Disney declared the old expanded universe no longer cannon to the Star Wars saga, there was a hero who had obtained the Death Star plans and got them to the rebellion. In the video game Dark Forces you play as Kyle Katarn a rebel spy who infiltrates an Imperial base and steals the Death Star plans, beaming them to Princess Leia’s ship during Operation Skyhook. The operation was mentioned in the Star Wars radio drama. All that was out the window.

These two just blew their stealth roll.
Secondly, the idea of a band of rebels sneaking into an Imperial base and mixing it up with the Empire while having some of the main characters of the original trilogy lurking in the background – well that sounded just like the adventures you would create in the Star Wars Roleplaying Game by West End Games. This actually got me really excited, because I’ve been visualizing this since the 1990s. I envisioned a whole television series featuring these heroic rebel characters going on missions and attempting to find out more about the Jedi. This seemed like a film that was finally bringing that concept to life.

I think someone is ready for some beach volleyball.
But the specter of The Phantom Menace looms large over all things Star Wars related. So while I was very curious, I tried to keep my anticipation for Rogue One in check. Sure The Force Awakens was entertaining, but I kept hearing about many behind the scenes problems during the filming of Rogue One including a serious amount of reshoots. That rarely bodes well for a film.

The result is a film that feels messy. One of the best things about The Force Awakens was the nearly breathless pacing and constant feel of forward momentum. Rogue One feels sluggish and fitful for the nearly the entire first half of the story. Once the mission to steal the Death Star plans actually kicks in, the film generates suspense and builds action set pieces with great skill. Gareth Edwards is known for his action sequences and his expertise come through. But getting to that point is a bit of a chore.

Let’s focus on the good elements first. When it comes to immersing the viewer into the Star Wars universe prior to the events of A New Hope, Rogue One nails it. This movie looks like a natural progression toward the 1977 film. Everything from the tech, the uniforms, and down to the way the movie looks gives you the feel of a genuine predecessor to the series we are so familiar with.

A high tech game of Defender.
This is not an easy task, and great care was taken to ensure it felt natural. While there are a couple nods to the prequels, this film feels far enough removed from that shiny reality and are entrenched in the grittier dirty world of the original trilogy. It is great to see the rebels relying on the classic starships, including the X-wings and the Y-wings. Even the Imperial ships fall in the same boat. Vader does not arrive in the massive Super Star Destroyer from Empire Strikes Back, but on his regular sized juggernaut The Devastator.

The visual effects look pretty darn good for the most part. The starship battle at the end of the film is one of the best we’ve seen in the entire saga. It is framed well, easy to follow and intense as all hell. Alien creatures are pretty solid, there aren’t a lot of them featured in the film, our cast is all human. The strange tentacle beast that Gerrera uses against Bodhi is perhaps the most CG looking of all the creatures.

Speaking of CG there is one thing I can’t avoid talking about. Because of the film’s setting, we have some familiar faces in the movie. Darth Vader’s costume is actually a wonderful replica of the one from A New Hope (which is slightly different from the ones used in Empire and Jedi). He makes out fine. But we also have Grand Moff Tarkin (who was played by Peter Cushing in 1977) and Princess Leia (played by Carrie Fisher).

There is something uncanny bout seeing Tarkin again.
Tarkin plays a key role in Rogue One. The decision was made to have Guy Henry play the part with a CG replica of Cushing’s face placed on him in postproduction. The result is a mixed bag. When he is not speaking, he looks pretty darn convincing. Henry even has Cushing’s mannerisms down. But when he speaks, although the voice is nearly perfect, the face just hits that uncanny valley way too many times. And they were obviously proud of the work, because he gets some really long close ups. The result kept pulling me out of the film and being distracted by how disturbing he looked and not listening to his actual dialogue. Faring worse, with even less screen time is Princess Leia. She has about 30 seconds of screen time, but once again they have her walk right up to the camera and with her uncanny valley CG face right there, it just looks wrong. It actually soured the ending a bit for me.

Disney has pulled this before with Tron Legacy by having some really close up moments of Jeff Bridges youth enhanced face filling the screen. Rogue One suffers from the same issue. Recasting would have been fine, or keeping the stand ins backs to the camera would have worked too. But this was just a misstep and one that I think will age really poorly over time. Since it impacted my engagement in the film, I had to knock the visuals down a grade.

Is it just me or does he look like he could be
related to Dengar?
Sound effects work was top notch though. The movie is filled to bursting with classic Star Wars sound effects, it really added to the immersion factor of this film. Little touches only fans would notice, like the bass rumble when Vader uses his Force powers, or the chattering of the silver instectoid droids were fun audio Easter eggs for fans.

When it came to music we had a first for the Star Wars film saga. John Williams has scored every live action Star Wars theatrical film. But for Rogue One a new composer was asked to step up. Originally French composer Alexandre Desplat was working on the score. But after all the reshoots Desplat was unable to continue working on the project because of other commitments. Disney turned to one of their most dependable composers who had already scored the revamped version of Star Tours, Michael Giacchino.

Giacchino is a huge Star Wars fan, and he was one of the candidates to score The Force Awakens if John Williams was unavailable. This time Giacchino had a real test on his hands. He had to score a massive wall-to-wall orchestral work based on his favorite franchise (with all the fan expectations along with it) and do it in four weeks. It was an insane request, and Giacchino had already had a packed year scoring films like Star Trek Beyond and Doctor Strange. But he stepped up to this challenge and did his best.

"How did I let them talk me into this?"
The result is a score that captures the feel of John Williams 1977 score in tone and style, but is also clearly built by Giacchino. His voice comes through in the new themes and the application of all the thematic moments. It was a tricky balancing act, where Giacchino picks up motifs and ideas that were used by Williams only in A New Hope, but fleshes them out a bit for Rogue One. Other times he has his new material from Director Krennic play in counterpoint to the Imperial March or the Death Star motif. You can tell that Giacchino spent as much time and care as he could crafting this score. With the accelerated schedule and immense pressure we got a fine bit of film music.

There are a few moments where the score falters a bit. The use of his Hope theme during the opening title is a little too on the nose and almost sounds like a parody moment. There are also times where the Giacchino’s style that he established for the Abrams Star Trek films bleeds through into the Rogue One score. I think that time crunch he was under probably forced Giacchino to use some style shortcuts that people are familiar with. I know it is an issue when YouTube reviewers mentioned that some of the music made them wonder if Captain Kirk was going to show up and save Jyn at the end.

I think the droid is looking down on her.
The acting in Rogue One is solid all the way around. The fact that I’m not all too invested in the characters has less to do with the actual acting and more to do with the messy script. The cast does the best with the material they are given, and in some cases it is very little. Felicity Jones does an admirable job with a flat character. The script wants us to be invested in Jyn’s journey, but she is given little to do but react to events around her. We don’t see what really motivates her, or what fuels her actions. Jones is often left observing events and reacting to them. She has a few good scenes dealing with her father, but that is about it.

Faring a bit better is Luna as the jaded and cynical Cassian. Here is a character that feels like he sprung from a full back-story. Luna makes Cassian’s dedication to the Rebellion feel real and his actions have weight. Again, not much is given in the script, but Luna takes the small nuggets and runs with them. He feels like the most fleshed out of the main characters and it is due to his excellent performance.

These Stormtroopers have never heard of the blind
swordsman before.
For as little screen time as Yen and Jiang have, they actually create enough camaraderie between their characters. You feel like these two have been together for quite a while. They have some amusing banter and Yen in particular invests his character with some interesting moments. You could have almost had him play a larger role in the film and it would have been much more interesting. There is a story behind Chirrut, but sadly we just get hints of it.

Alan Tudyk is always great in pretty much anything he is in. He imbued Wash in Firefly with a lot of charisma. Playing the droid K-2SO doesn’t hinder him in the slightest. He makes the most of his limited screen time. And by the end of the movie, he was the hero I was most invested in when it came to their fate.

He has no problem blowing up your planet.
On the villainous side I will say that I liked Mendelsohn’s performance. He plays the ambitious and deadly Imperial officer perfectly. I love his arrogance and the way he has no problem talking back to Tarkin, and even a little bit to Vader (although he looks appropriately cowed after that encounter). He makes for a solid antagonist and again, I wish we had gotten just a little more time with him. It felt like there was more of story behind him, but it just didn’t make it to the screen.

Whitaker, Mikkelsen and Smits all do fine jobs with their small moments. But when you have guys like these why waste them in such small moments. I know that Whitaker had a lot of his scenes reworked, and his eccentric performance here feels a little off in some ways. But at the same time it added this uncertainty to his scenes. You never knew just what he was going to end up doing. If the script had served him a bit better, it would have been a great character. I will also say that Genevieve O’Reilly makes a perfect Mon Mothma. See Disney, you can recast a part and still make it work.

Jyn is finally ready to take action.
While most of the parts are in place to give us a movie that should work, it is the structure of Rogue One that just falls apart. I think the writers were hoping that giving Jyn a backstory with her parents and tying her directly to the Death Star in some way would raise the stakes. The problem is that Jyn never feels like she is motivated to really act for any reason. She is pretty much shuttled from location to location and only when her father dies does she really make up her mind about doing something. But this moment comes across so limp that it just doesn’t resonate. If we had more time with Jyn, seeing her yearning for her past, seeing her interaction with Gerrera it might have helped. But what we get is so sparse it just doesn’t have the impact it should. So for the bulk of the first half of the film you end up with character building moments that just don’t deliver.

Trying to make heads or tails of the rewrites.
This same thing happens with Director Krennic. Instead of building him as a threat, the movie spends time showing his struggles with Tarkin and Vader. It starts to fee like more scenes built around fan service than actual service to the story. His story has an ironic twist, but again, it feels limp and doesn’t really do much for the overall impact of the tale. And speaking of fan service, the film goes a bit overboard in that department with C-3PO and R2-D2 not to mention the thugs that harass Luke in the cantina showing up for no other reason than to make fans smile.

What really needed to happen was for the creators to pick a direction and stick with it. Instead we get a film that feels like it is trying to do too many things at once. It wants to turn Jyn into a variant of Rey from The Force Awakens. They wanted to create a mission impossible type film or a full-blown Dirty Dozen type movie. But those films focused more on building up to the mission than trying to create limp character moments. They knew they were building suspense and action set pieces. And we get that in spades in the second half of the film. That is what the whole movie should have been.

Darth getting a little dramatic.
In my mind Rogue One could have used fewer characters, a simpler narrative and the guts to go for something straightforward and intense from the first scene forward. We should have had this elite team of rebels, maybe see them in action during the pre-credit sequence James Bond style. Then have them receiving their mission to steal the plans. The rest of the film could be them coming up with a strategy to get the plans, maybe a small adventure getting a secret code or something to sneak into the base. Then the rest of the film with them attempting to get Skyhook pulled off. They should have picked a single villain as the main antagonist. Could be Tarkin or Krennic, but not both. Keep Vader for the big surprise at the end, that whole sequence works great. But those scenes with Gerrera and finding Galen could be dropped.

In the end, you get a muddled movie. I’ll admit, I was really hoping for something like a film version of Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game. And I was really disappointed during my first viewing. But seeing it a second time, I was able to enjoy the film for what it was: a flawed movies set in the Star Wars universe. It hits the sweet spots for fan service and action. But beyond that it feels like a disappointment. There is a really good (and maybe even great) movie somewhere in there. It’s a shame we didn’t get that.


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