Fire and Ice (1983)

Introduction:

The early ‘80s was a boom time for fans of fantasy films. While not all the films were amazing, there was still plenty big names that have remained fantasy classics, with Conan the Barbarian probably being the most famous. But independent animation director Ralph Bakshi tried a second go at the genre and joined forces with one of the most popular fantasy illustrators of the time Frank Frazetta. Let’s see what happened…

Summary:

Lord Nekron (Stephen Mendel), who has to be evil with a name like that, is using his magical forces to push a ginormous glacier into the more temperate kingdoms and making a lot of enemies to boot. Larn (William Ostrander) is the only survivor of his destroyed village and on the run from Nekron’s legions of sub-humans. At the same time, princess Teegra (Maggie Roswell) finds herself captured, and escaping and getting captured again as part of a plot to get her father to surrender his kingdom. Then there is the mysterious adventurer Darkwolf (Steve Sandor) who wears a wolf’s head mask and wields a huge battle-axe. He’s got a score to settle with evil ice lord. These characters will clash in an animated epic battle of Fire and Ice.

Good Points:

• Frazetta’s signature style is expertly captured in the animation
• Some of the action set pieces are excellent
• Tons and tons of animated fan service

Bad Points:

• The plot is really basic, but still manages to meander
• The stylized animation is not everyone’s cup of tea
• All the flesh on display is going to distract and disturb plenty of viewers

 Overall:

If you know what you’re getting, this is a really solid sword and sorcery adventure. It’s got some great scale to the setting, but the story is simple and straightforward, as opposed to something like Lord of the Rings. All the half nude bodies on display will either elevate your enjoyment or leave you feeling dirty. But the imagination on display and the way the whole visual experience creates a unique world makes it worth checking out for animation fans.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 3

Script: 3

Music: 3

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 4

Total:  3


In Depth Review

Ralph Bakshi’s take on Lord of the Rings in 1978 didn’t win him a lot of friends. Fans of the novels hated his editing and adapting of the story and characters. Newcomers to the story were confused as he tried to cram a book and a half of material into a movie 132 minutes long. Fans of his previous work like Fritz the Cat and Wizards were left wondering where the edgy animator went wrong.

I don’t hate his version of Tolkien’s story. It has a lot of good points (I’ll probably do a review of it somewhere down the line) and it introduced me to the world and got me into the books. But I think Bakshi understood that the elements of high fantasy were not what his style of animation was best at capturing. So it made perfect sense to team up with Frazetta, and utilize his more physical visuals for something more brutal and primal.

Bakshi was really into using rotoscope animation, where actors are filmed and then animated over. This technique has been around for ages, and was used way back for Gulliver’s Travels and the old Superman cartoons from the ‘30s. If used correctly it lends realism to the movement of the characters, something difficult to achieve until the advent of motion capture in the 1990s. Bakshi’s results are decidedly mixed in Lord of the Rings but Fire and Ice gets it all right.

Check out the first chase scene where Larn leads the sub-humans on a chase into a dense jungle. The movement of the characters, the way the camera angles around to capture the action and the tight editing keeps everything kinetic and exciting. The use of rotoscoping really adds to the scene and helps it work. In nearly every action scene, the same effect is captured.

One scene where rotoscoping is not used is during the assault on Nekron’s ice fortress by the flying dragon hawks. But the animation here is really top notch, with the beasts hurtling through ice caverns, dodging rocks and arrows and losing riders. William Kraft’s score kicks into overdrive here, combining the bombastic and the heroic very well. It gets a bit corny at times, but it’s still effective.

As straightforward as the story is, the script could have used a bit more tightening. Teegra spends most of the movie captured or escaping. It gets so redundant it feels comical. In addition there is a strange interlude with a couple characters who are introduced, and then killed off about five minutes later. This scene barely moves the story forward and gives us nothing new, except for a different half naked woman to look at.

Yeah, the amount of skin in this movie is pretty ridiculous. Frazetta is known for his mostly nude fantasy babes and completely ripped sword slingers, so it all fits with the style. But the movie makes sure to show you every last bit of beefcake and cheesecake you can image. Teegra’s introduction is practically soft-core, and the amount of running she does will break any jiggle counter you have handy. There’s nothing racy in the actual film, but it is all about titillation.

Fire and Ice is something I’d recommend to fans of animation, anyone familiar with Bakshi’s work, and folks who enjoy Frazetta’s art. But someone who likes fantasy that isn’t brutal and elemental, like the original Conan stories by Robert E. Howard, may find this to be a little too much of a good thing. 

The Brain Machine (1977)

Introduction:

Let’s dive into an actual sci-fi story from the 100 Sci-fi Classics boxset. This one comes from the 1970’s and stars that guy from Simon and Simon. It also features a government conspiracy. Hey, wasn’t this the same plot as an X-Files episode?

Summary:

Dr. Portland (Barbara Burgess) and Dr. Morris (Gil Peterson) have created an amazing new computer. Feed enough information into it and it can predict what a person will do, and figure out what secrets they are hiding. To test their device, they bring in four test patients with several skeletons in the closet. Reverend Neill (James Best) obviously has serious issues, but Willie West (Gerald McRaney) seems to be the most normal of the group. Unfortunately none of them are aware of a government plot to not only control the test itself, but figure out a way to use the computer for nefarious purposes.

Good Points:

• Interesting core story
• Some of the acting isn’t too bad
• Hey, I know that mansion…

Bad Points:

• The direction is really bad
• Some of the acting is laughable
• Your eyes might roll out of your head when you see the ending

Overall:

You know, they could have had something interesting going here. Sure the main story is a bit hackneyed, but the ‘70s paranoia could work well. Instead director Joy Houck Jr. has no idea how to pace the movie. This sucker drags, and with poor editing, a million establishing shots, and boom mics all over the place, the end result is a pretty boring film with some average riffing potential.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 2

Sound: 3

Acting: 2

Script: 2

Music: 3

Direction: 1

Entertainment: 2

Total:  2

In Depth Review

This movie is nearly impossible to get through as a straight viewing experience. The biggest issues all fall on the director’s shoulders. I already mentioned the snails pace, but what really kills this are the numerous establishing shots. Every time (and I’m not exaggerating here) we switch from one local to the other, we get a shot of the building. Most of the time, it’s the same shot. The testing facility got lucky with two angles, but it doesn’t help. Who thought all these shots were necessary? The interiors of the buildings look completely different. Did Houck Jr. think his audience would get confused?

The movie also spends an extremely long time setting up the whole government conspiracy angle. It’s not terribly interesting, and the key figure, “The General”, played with absolutely zero skill or interest by Thomas Hal Phillips. His performance is so lackluster that he manages to slow all his scenes down even more. He has some extended phone conversations (always good to throw these in your thriller), and they are just painful to sit through. While the conspiracy delivers a payoff at the end, they did not need to spend so much time on this.

Honestly the best scenes are the ones where the scientist and the computer quiz the test subjects. Here is where the acting really shines. Some folks aren’t too bad, and actually deliver a solid performance (McRaney). But other just go over the top (Best) chewing scenery with gusto and providing lots of unintentional humor.

It isn’t a spoiler to say at the end of the film the computer goes out of control (any sci-fi movie about artificial intelligence is required by movie law to do so!). When this actually happens, the film really becomes entertaining as the doctors and the test subjects attempt to escape. The histrionics go into overtime and you can’t help but laugh. The ending is your classic 1970s sci-fi film finale. If you’ve seen Parts: The Clonus Horror you may have an idea of what I’m talking about.

One thing that was pretty funny about the production (other than the numerous boom mic shots) is that the huge mansion featured in the film has also appeared in another bad 1970s flick – Angels Revenge. It was the home of the evil crime lord played by Peter Lawford in that fine flick. Not only do we get to see the extended driveway, but also the pool area and backyard. It’s a lovely mansion, but having been featured in two moronic movies, I wonder who kept renting it out?

With that said the film might make for a bit of fun on bad movie night. You may need to have some skilled jokesters around for the dull scenes with the General, but the test subject scenes provide plenty of riffing gold. But avoid it if you’re not in the riffing mood.

Hellboy (2004)

Introduction:

Combine the horror genre with superheroes and you could come up with something pretty interesting.  Bring in a director who has an excellent visual style and how can this not work?

Summary:

An extended pre-credit sequence shows us the origin of Hellboy (Ron Perlman) - it involves Nazis and Rasputin (Karel Roden). Jump to present day and the demonic lad with the heart of gold and a soft spot for kittens is fighting the forces of evil with a band of super humans. This includes the pyro-kinetic Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) and the half human/half fish Abe Sapien (Doug Jones). Guided by Trevor Bruttenholm (John Hurt) the group finds themselves facing Rasputin again as the mysterious wizard attempts to bring about the end of the world. Isn’t that always the way?

Good Points:

• Some excellent visual sequences with classic del Toro moments
• Perlman makes the whole movie work with his take on the character
• An exciting musical score by Marco Beltrami

Bad Points:

• The pacing seems off the whole movie
• Goes a bit overboard with exposition
• The main villains weren’t too memorable

Overall:

I wanted to like Hellboy more than I turned out liking it. There are plenty of great scenes and some very funny conversations. But overall the movie ends up dragging too often. And when you’ve got Rasputin as your main villain that’s pretty tough to pull off. Still not a bad way to spend a lazy Sunday, especially if you don’t mind a bit of darkness in your superhero flick.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 3

Script: 3

Music: 4

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Hoosiers (1986)

Introduction:

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not huge into sports films. But there are a few that other people refer to as “must see” movies, so I usually try to give those a watch. Hoosiers usually appears on that list. I don’t mind watching basketball, so I figured I’d give it a shot. Get it? Shot? OK, I’ll just get on to the review.

Summary:

Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) arrives in the small town of Hickory, Indiana to coach the local high school basketball team. This is a second chance of sorts. His previous career as a college level coach ended after an violent incident. Unfortunately the people of Hickory don’t take to the “big city” man coming into their small town to show them how to play the game. Even fellow teachers like Myra Fleener (Barbara Hershey) dislike him from the start. Will Dale be able to turn the team around, win the hearts of the townsfolk, and get the life of local drunk Shooter (Dennis Hopper) back on track? If you don’t know the answer to this, then you haven’t watched any sports movies.

Good Points:

• Excellent acting by the main cast
• The basketball scenes are well filmed and exciting
• Jerry Goldsmith’s musical score fits like an 80s glove

Bad Points:

• The story is very, very familiar
• Goldsmith’s score is heavy on the synthesizers
• The epilogue was painfully cheesy

Overall:

Yes, it’s an underdog sports film and all that entails is covered here. There are no plot surprises, no character surprises, but the heart is in the right place. What really works is the atmosphere (aided by an entire shoot performed in Indiana) and the excellent acting by the leads. I’ve never seen Hopper as good as he is here. And yes, the musical score is a blast. Must of the percussive sounds are actually samples of basketballs hitting a wooden floor. Worth checking out, especially if you enjoy basketball and the cast.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 4

Script: 3

Music: 4

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 3

Total:  3

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.   

Mitchell (1975) – MST3K Review

Summary:

Mitchell (Joe Don Baker) is a cop who does what it takes to get the bad guys. This involves talking to J. Arthur Cummings (Martin Balsam) and Walter Deaney (John Saxon). It also involves sleeping with a hooker named Greta (Linda Evans). But mostly it involves him sitting in a car smoking, and being generally unpleasant.

First he’s out to nail Deaney for the murder of an unarmed robber. The only problem is that the FBI is working on a case involving Deaney and Mitchell might screw it up. Then he’s after Cummings for stealing heroin during a hijacking in Mexico. Cummings denies any involvement and even has his butler/body guard Benton (Merlin Olsen) kick Mitchell’s ass to get the point across. But nothing doing! Mitchell is going to take down the bad guys, have a theme song that repeats his name about a hundred times and get the crap beat out of him in multiple scenes before the movie is over, or his name isn’t Mitchell. Mitchell!

Movie Review:

So the 1970s were filled with hard nosed, tough talking cops who didn’t play by the rules but got results. You know, like Dirty Harry. Well, here we have Mitchell who takes the stereotype to extremes. He’s extremely tough talking, extremely grumpy, extremely into sleeping with prostitutes and yet he has a strong sense of what is right. Yes, it’s wrong that Deaney gets away with murder, but its OK for Mitchell to shoot a suspect in the leg as he’s trying to escape.

It’s easy to see what the movie is going for, but between the edited version we see here and the extreme unpleasantness of Baker’s take on the character – who the hell is this supposed to appeal to? When we first see Mitchell he’s asleep in the back of a cop car, as if he was just picked up for something. Instead he’s being driven to the murder scene. So the beat cops were his personal drivers? Later when we see Mitchell at the police station, everyone is grumpy with him and he’s grumpy right back. Even the villains notice this. Cummings says, “Not many people like you. Why is that?” Um, maybe because he’s an ass?

Then there’s the whole crux of the movie which entails Mitchell sitting around, talking with the villains, talking with the cops, sleeping with Greta and moping around the house. Finally the action kicks in with the last 15 or so minutes of the film, with Mitchell taking down drug dealers, flying around in a helicopter and ending in a battle royale with Benton. There is a really odd car chase thrown in around the mid point of the movie, and its not filmed badly (there were also a couple other fight scenes in the film that are not in this edit). But this is still one slow flick.

Baker’s acting is hard to judge. He’s really good at being unlikable, so I think he’s doing a good job. But his tough, no nonsense persona lacks any kind of appeal that I know the actor is capable of. Its too easy to blame Baker, but the real blame should fall on the script and the director. Balsam and Saxon are well versed with this kind of thing and do the villainous act pretty well. Saxon’s Deaney is a slick bastard whose sadistic streak is evident from the beginning. Cummings is your typical craggy gangster type. He’s been around long enough to know when things are going sour, but you get the sense that he’s a survivor. His plan to use Mitchell to destroy his competition is pretty clever. Olson isn’t bad as the brutish thug, not many lines really. Evans looks pretty enough to be a high-class prostitute. But her true test is the oh-so-disturbing love scene she shares with Mitchell – shudder.

This is one of those movies where the real ‘70s nature of it is both a help and a hindrance. For some dated clothing, dialogue and oh so Rockford Files style music, you can’t go wrong. But it’s got that dreary brown feel to it. The lead character is a jerk we are supposed to understand and identify with. And nearly all the characters are annoying or idiotic in some way. For me, this could have been a typical low budget cop film with a heavy ‘70s vibe. But the character of Mitchell turns it into something truly worthy of the MST3K treatment.

Episode Review:  

For MST3K fans, this is a huge episode, because it represents the transition from one host to another. Series creator Joel Hodgson was leaving the show, and head writer Mike Nelson was taking over as host. For some viewers this was the beginning of the end, and many see this as Joel’s last hurrah. But there are some of us who love both hosts, and see this as a new direction for the show. What is more important is that this episode falls in the middle of one of the best seasons of the series, and represents one of the pinnacles of the writing team. For the riffing, this is a classic episode.

Some have said that during season five, Joel was already looking to leave the show, and so Mike was handed the reigns for the writing almost exclusively. They usually point to Mitchell as the example. This is some aggressive riffing here, really laying into the character of Mitchell as well as Joe Don Baker himself. Yes, its really damn funny, but its also pretty mean. Some folks feel that Joel would not have lead the writing team in this direction, but I don’t know about that. Nelson had been the head writer for a while, and the entire team contributes to the overall show. Besides, the character of Mitchell is just asking for it. The fact that the riffing starts attacking Baker is a bit questionable, but I still find the whole thing damn funny. (According to myth, Joe Don Baker himself didn’t and mentioned in an interview that if he ever met any of the MST3K crew he’d deck them). And I think Mike and bots were even nastier in their treatment of Baker in Final Justice in Season 10. 

But the laughs start right off with the opening titles. The super-‘70s guitar riff kicks in and Tom quips, “Any movie with waka-joe-waka in it is fine by me!” As the name Mitchell is slowly revealed in the title sequence, Joel and the bots try to figure out what it says. “Mittens? An action hero named Mittens?” “Mitchell? Oh, the Martha Mitchell story.”

After that the riffing is fast and furious. The entire opening scene featuring Deaney on the way home with a business partner and a couple prostitutes and ending up in the death of a burglar is hilarious. The thief has a passing resemblance to Johnny Mathis, which Joel and the bots use to great advantage, bursting into song several times. As Deaney peeks in the thief, Tom says, “All right, Johnny Mathis. Get my gun!”

Then Mitchell shows up asleep in the cop car and Joel comments, “Our hero ladies and gentleman.” It’s really downhill from there, with the character being called everything from “a big slob” to an “Incompetent loser” both of which apply. Tom gets a good song in about Mitchell during a short chase scene. It matches the 70s rock music perfectly, “Mitchell. Heart pounding. Mitchell. Veins clogging. Mitchell!”

And not to be outdone, the film itself features a song all about Mitchell sung by Hoyt Axton. It’s performed during the love scene between our beefy hero and Linda Evans. Joel and the bots are traumatized, especially when the camera pans over the writhing sheets to a bottle of baby oil on the table. The lyrics croon “My, my, my, my Mitchell”. By the boys sing “My, my, my, my GOD!!!!!” and scream.

There is a lot of talking in this movie, and they do a fairly good job with riffing on these more inactive moments. The pace flags a little, but the finale scene is hilarious, from the moment when Mitchell goes undercover as a driver (and berates an old lady) to the final battle ripped right from the Bogart classic Key Largo. Tom helps out with a music riff, as the score sounds like something from an industrial short. Olsen’s final battle provides a helping of Hee Haw jokes and florist comments. And Balsam utters the immortal words, “Oh you’re smart enough Mitchell”, which becomes an instant catchphrase. The movie stumbles to its conclusion with a lame attempt at humor and Joel asks, “He’s only got a few more minutes to become likable, think he can do it?” Sorry Joel, Mitchell even fails at that.

The episode starts with Joel showing off his toothpick sculpture of Monticello. The bots decide they must destroy it. Joel shows off a Daktari Stool as his invention, but the Mad Scientists are being audited and don’t have time for inventions. They’ve got a temp, named Mike, helping them catalogue everything. At the first break, Joel leads the bots on an Outward Bound expedition. Meanwhile Gypsy overhears of a plot between the Mads. They are going to kill Mike after the experiment, but Gypsy thinks they’re talking about Joel.  A classic scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey is referenced. At the next break Gypsy wracks her brains to come up with a way to get Joel off the Satellite to safety. This is one of the most annoying skits in existence with Gypsy shrieking at maximum volume - a shame because some of the jokes are funny. The next segment features the temp Mike coming to Gypsy’s aid and gives her control of a hidden escape pod (in a box of Ham-dingers). When the movie ends, Joel is shot back to earth in the pod, the bots PANIC, and the Mad Scientists plot to shoot Mike up in Joel’s place. Quoth Dr. Forrester, “I think you’ll be working for us, for a long, long time.”

Mitchell falls into the top ten for me. There are lots of good laughs to be found throughout and the host segments are push along the premise in a fun way (if you can ignore Gypsy’s shrieking in the second segment). 


All in all this one easily earns five rousing choruses of “My, my, my, my Mitchell!” Let’s start!

This episode is available on an individual DVD. But the Rhino version may be out of print at this time.

Kick Ass (2010)

Introduction:

Heard a lot of interesting buzz about this movie. Some folks really enjoyed it, others found it to be distasteful and disturbing. Well disturbing works in my book too, so when this popped up on Netflix download I had to give it a shot.

Summary:

Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) decides he wants to try his hand at the super hero biz. So he creates a costume, grabs some weapons and attempts to fight crime as Kick Ass. Sadly his enthusiasm is not matched by his skill, and he is promptly beaten up and put in the hospital. By freak chance, the severe beating ends up numbing the pain centers in his brain. So when Kick Ass takes to the streets again, he’s able to stand up to the thrashing he gets, and actually do some good.

Little does he know that two actual crime fighters Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz) are keeping an eye on him. Do they want to join forces with this new hero in their battle to bring down crime boss Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) or do they think he’s a threat? And just how does the mysterious Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) fit into the picture?  All we know for sure is that there will be explosions, there will be blood and there will be asses kicked.

Good Points:

• Turns superhero conventions on their ear
• Manages to be funny, and dark all at the same time
• The acting is surprisingly good

 Bad Points:

• The odd tone is not going to appeal to everyone
• The whole concept of Hit Girl and what happens to her is sure to offend some viewers
• Anyone looking for a traditional superhero flick will be disappointed 

Overall:

This is a lot like Scott Pilgrim vs. The World but with a darker, nastier streak. But that dark side is full of smiles and I got a big kick out of the whole film. The wildly shifting tone of the film was a little tough to get into, but once I figured out what the movie was trying to do I had a good time. Recommended for anyone looking for a nice twist on the superhero genre (as long as you don’t mind seeing a little girl mercilessly kill evildoers and get herself beaten up during the fight scenes).

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 4

Acting: 4

Script: 4

Music: 4

Direction: 4

Entertainment: 4

Total:  4

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

Introduction:

The combination of Robert Redford and Paul Newman seems like a sure fire winner. Put both of them in the roles of some of the most famous cowboys of the old west and how can this miss? But hold your horses pardners, this movie has a much different agenda to meet and it’s more rooted in the 1960s than the 1860s.

Summary:

Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and the Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) are some of the most successful and genial bandits in the west. When they decide to rob a train as its coming and going from its destination they push their luck too far. The owner of Union Pacific creates a super posse to hunt down and kill the bandits. A long chase sequence follows, but a daring jump off a cliff allows Butch and Sundance to escape. They head back to pick up Sundance’s girl, Etta (Katherine Ross) and then head off to Bolivia. But it turns out that this isn’t the land flowing with riches that Butch described. Can these two friends till make a fortune and stay ahead of the law when they don’t speak a lick of Spanish between them? Only the script and Burt Bacharach’s jaunty score know for sure.

Good Points:

• Amazing location shooting
• Excellent camaraderie between Redford and Newman
• The first 20 minutes are top-notch Western material

Bad Points:

• Slows to a crawl once the chase kicks in
• Bacharach’s score is hilariously distracting
• Never seems to know what it wants to be a comedy set in the old west, or a western with some humor

Overall:

This movie starts off really well, looking to be a classic fun Western. Newman and Redford own these characters and have some great interplay. But the fun gets sucked away and replaced with limp and oddly scored musical montages. As the movie inches toward its tragic end you realize that you never really cared about these two guys. The scenery is beautiful and there are some good action scenes, but all in all this feels more like a reaction to the state of the Westerns at the time and not really a movie that works beyond the time it was made.

Scores (out of 5)

Visuals: 4

Sound: 3

Acting: 4

Script: 2

Music: 2

Direction: 3

Entertainment: 2

Total:  2

Curious about a full review, sent me an email and I’ll make additional thoughts to this review.